


Let’s Talk About Love

by lemonomin



Category: NCT, NCT Dream
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M, roommates au, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-16 11:34:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 50,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21507274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonomin/pseuds/lemonomin
Summary: Jeno isn’t exactly happy about the new dorm assignments. Seems like Donghyuck really run out of jokes that he made Jaemin his roommate.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im transferring all my yutae fics to nomin so if u read this already pls dont say anything hahahahahahhaha also if you’re curious who sehwi is, u can google her :D

“Donghyuck!"

Jeno knocks again, his knuckles turning red from the countless thumping on the hard wood for awhile now. Mark from the next room chides him to stop already but nothing can stop Jeno and his persistence.

"Donghyuck! Lee Donghyuck!"

He's been trying to maintain all his calm and has all the urge to kick at the door when it swings open, a grimacing Yangyang showing up. Jeno notes the earphones hanging from the other's neck and fights all his urge to roll his eyes and say a word.

"What? He's not here." Yangyang scowled at him.

A playful smirk turn up on Yangyang's face and Jeno knew he's up to say something to unamuse him so he turned around. With an irritated sigh, Jeno make sure Yangyang hears it. Leaving him without a word. There are so much more to life really.

It's been a hell of a week and Jeno didn't expect his first year of junior highschool school to start roughly. Middle school was all fun and games. Donghyuck, the one he believes responsible for all his stress and exasperation , has been avoiding him for awhile. Jeno regrets all his thirst for a sophisticated and unstained school dorm, sure it was given to him but with a pretentious incubus for a roommate.

It's all Donghyuck's fault for being too nosy. Jeno never quite understood why Donghyuck has to keep his nose on other's business. Sure it was weird that he doesn't get along with Na Jaemin, since they've been in this one circle of friends for almost four years now. But Jeno doesn't see any problem regarding it. It's not like they engage in brawling or unsympathetic arguments, they just don't talk and that's everything about it. Mark describes him not only a picky eater but also picky with who to get along with. Whenever he would reason out that it’s difficult to get along with new people, Donghyuck will bite back with a “We’ve been altogether for four years. Four years with Na Jaemin.” It's not just Jaemin anyway but Donghyuck always snarls at him about it.

Jeno spent his vacation back in Seoul and Jaemin was in the new dorm a month earlier for his tryout at the football team. His back still hurts from scrubbing all the shoe dirt and sanitizing the smell of sweat odor on his shared room with Jaemin but Jeno would rather not rest than deal with his roommate. Jeno isn't exactly one to loiter in and out of other's room but all these situations leaves him no choice and he found himself knocking in on Xiaojun's room again.

"I'm coming in." He says, walking in.

An awkward silence fell in the room when he found Renjun sitting pretty on the bed, eyes focused on the basketball game he's watching and didn't even spared him a glance. Jeno hears sound from the kitchen that could be Xiaojun but he had no idea how to cross the small path from the bed and T.V to avoid blocking Renjun's view. Jeno didn't come here to hear crap.

"Injunnie! Is that Jeno?" Xiaojun shouts from the kitchen.

Renjun sideeyes him in a flash and mouths a loud "Ah." Followed with the annoying sound of him chewing a gum.

"Jeno, I'm making lunch. Do you mind wait---"

"It's okay. I'll go." Jeno says, turning back, hands already on the knob. "Just text me when you're not busy."

"What are the two of you going to do, Xiaojun?" Renjun calls out.

Rolling his eyes, Jeno heard Xiaojun explaining to Renjun about their plan on playing AOV. He escapes the room immediately. Another person he doesn't want to deal with, Renjun. Xiaojun knows it too.

When Jeno walked on their floor's lobby, he knew it was formidable already when he saw Chenle holding a mic having his concert again. With Jisung, his biggest fan, watching the petty performance. The youner raised his hand and signals him if he wants to join but Jeno hastily shook his head.

Back to the hallway, Jeno should've just agreed when Yukhei and Mark invited him to come to their school's swimming pool and relax. With an aching soul, Jeno enters his room and just as he expected, smelly socks inside the dirty shoes just behind the door welcomes him. Ignoring the look his roommate is giving him, his hand automatically reaches to the wet socks and his face contorts at the loss of dignity, throwing it to Jaemin's laundry basket just beside the shoe racks. If he can do it in a millisecond, why can't Jaemin?

Jeno mouthed a cuss when he stepped on a used, wet probably from sweat, shirt scattered on the floor.

Jaemin, on his own bed, groaned at him. Shirtless and scratching at his hair.

Jeno watches Jaemin hurriedly gets up , picking the shirt and throwing it to the basket. His head cringed when Jaemin missed, and he mutters unmindful, " I have a pig for a roommate."

"Hey, that was uncalled for." Jaemin deemed, offended. He was about to jump back to his bed but he froze.

"Your face is uncalled for!" Jeno snarled at him, stepping back right after he said it. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Jaemin's reaction or most likely afraid to hear what Jaemin's retort might. Besides, they haven't speak this much words to each other.

Jeno withdraws, turning back to the door he just entered a while ago. His hand is already gripping the knob, but he chose to slam his head on the door instead. "There's nowhere else to go." He muttered.

It's horrifying enough that he sits beside Na Jaemin In class on weekdays, but to even have to deal with him on weekends is making Jeno sick to his stomach. It's only in the middle of Saturday and he's only faced Jaemin for a minute and he's already this thrown off. All he wanted was a good sleep.

Jaemin isn't exactly familiar to the feeling of someone evidently casting him out. Last week, he was startled to see Jeno carrying his luggage walked in his room. It was weird since he already planned to room with Yangyang and Renjun for this school year. The other bed is big enough for two people and those two can deal with that. But he guesses none of their plans are going to happen.

Even so, Jaemin is fine to room with anyone. But anyone sort of doesn't include Jeno. Back then, he thought Jeno was only cold because Jaemin is the new friend. Donghyuck already warned him that Jeno isn’t very good at communicating with new people. Jaemin learned to understand that side of him for a week, for a month, for a year, but it had been four years now. Jaemin believing he's casted out by someone and it's unavoidable because he came a year late to the friendship. Yet came Xiaojun and Yukhei, a year later than Jaemin, but Jeno seemed to be affable with them. Jaemin stopped thinking why Jeno dislikes him two years ago. Also, Jaemin isn't the type to be friendly with anyone, being reserved and quiet that he is, unless they approach him first. But there's always a room for trying.

Coming out from the long shower, Jaemin almost laughed at the sight of Jeno curled up under a blanket and he's sure the other wasn't even sleeping judging from the movement of his toes. Jeno looks like an ice prince with his stoic expression, but he's just sloppy and moody. Also, Jaemin just learned recently that Jeno is so fretful too.

Suddenly realizing he's just in his towel, Jaemin dash through his desk to pick his clothes and ran back to the restroom. He was used to living alone and forgets he has a roommate that almost seen him a little too naked.

Jaemin made sure he's all set and fresh the second time he got out of the shower. Yangyang is at the first floor of the dorm's lobby already waiting for him. Sending his friend a quick text that he's on his way, Jaemin leaves his room and took the stairs when the elevator was occupied.

It's the first time he and Yangyang are going to hang out after two months vacation and a week of busy start of the school year. Jaemin was too immersed for tryout since he's really keen on joining the soccer team, same with Yangyang who's training for the school's dance team. Even Renjun is preoccupied with his audition at the school's theatro with Xiaojun.

When Jaemin reaches down the lobby, he saw Yangyang on a couch with probaby a cup of strawberry yogurt the other likes so much. As he expects, the other didn't even flinch at his presence and Jaemin sat on the other couch. There were other students and Jaemin didn't want to block the view from the movie on the the TV screen they're watching.

"I heard that's a good show." Jaemin comments.

"Legend of the blue sea?" Yangyang pffted, rolling his eyes even.

Jaemin felt concious at the other students who are listening to them now so he pulled Yangyang outside. The dormitory is just one street away from their school and the tall buildings can be seen from where they're standing just in front of the dorm.

"Man you ditched me last night." Jaemin lightly punched him on the shoulder.

"Oh." Yangyang laughed. "Donghyuck has everything stuck on our fridge. No need for me to go out for snacks anymore."

"No coffee for you, though."

"Yeah that's the problem." Yangyang groaned. "Where's Renjun? Is he out with Xiaojun again? What's with him always choosing Xiaojun over us, it hurts."

Chuckling, Jaemin receives a kick on his knee. "Why do I feel like all of your "it hurts" whenever Renjun is with Xiaojun is leading somewhere."

"Wow, Jaemin I told tou not to watch that anime."

"Which one?"

"Yuri on Ice."

Jaemin made an 'o' face. "I never watched it." He says, trying not to look defensive now that Yangyang is cracking a funny face at him.

"Your new roommate, though." Yangyang laughed. Jaemin and Jeno as roommates is such a very sarcastic idea. Donghyuck probably had do to with the room assignments to put on a show for all of them.

Jaemin has no say, only scratching the back of his head. He's had enough shit from Renjun about this already, not from Yangyang too. He really should've considered Chenle's suggestion of trading rooms with Jisung.

"Are the two of you, like, buddies now?" Yangyang laughs again. Teasing Jaemin on this matter is always funny to him.

Jaemin groaned. "Man, he's like my exes on period. He's so hot----"

"Oh." Yangyang feigned surprised.

"Headed. Hot headed, Yangyang." Jaemin scowled, earning another laughter from the other. It's seeming like Yangyang and Renjun won't let him live this whole school year and it's just the beginning of Jaemin's misery.

"Hey, Yerim!"

Yangyang waved frantically at the two girls who were walking by on the other side of the road. Jaemin watches him in awe. There's only two types of him, either Yangyang throwing shades at everyone, or him being jolly around girls.

"Who's the other one?" Jaemin asked Yangyang as the two girls passed by them.

"Ningning? She dyed her hair, I think."

"Suits her." Jaemin comments, biting at his lower lip.

Yangyang laughed again, leaning his back on the fence and sports a deadpan look. "Go upstairs and tell Jeno you think his girlfriend is hot. I'll wait here."

Jaemin makes a move to hit him but he hesitated, instead threw his hands in the air this time, not wanting to hurt his friend. Yangyang had to mention Jeno every time. But he guesses Yangyang shall quit his mocking if Jaemin feigns impervious to all it. Knowing Yangyang, he always like the unnecessaries.

"If Renjun doesn't come down in 5 minutes we'll go without him." Jaemin says, crossing his hands across his chest and leaning on the fence with Yangyang.

"Let's just go. Gan jang Ge jang isn't gonna taste any less hell without him anyway." Yangyang hissed, yawning. "Ah, he's wasted such a good opportunity of me treating."

Jaemin reads the message on Yangyang's phone the other is reaching out for him to see --- Xiaojun made a meal. Go on without me. "The R in Renjun stands for retard."

"You mean rat."

Yangyang barged ahead and Jaemin followed him with a grin.

"But hey, are you treating?"

It would've felt glorious to lie on his bed on a large, warm and cozy room. If only the dresser of his roommate don't have clothes picking out of the drawers in sight. Or the off-putting unkempt bed. Just thinking about how he had to deal with this abhorrence for the whole year makes him sick to his stomach.

Jeno jumps a little when he heard a hard knock from the door. Jaemin just left a few minutes ago and he can't be back already. Jeno just wants sometime alone. Dragging his feet to the door, Jeno was surprised it was Donghyuck grinning wide at him.

"What? Not happy to see me?" Donghyuck pursed his lips, following Jeno inside the room who just turned his back on him.

Jeno sat back on his bed with hunched shoulders. If it was earlier, he'd sure give Donghyuck the hell he deserves.

"Have you seen Ningning's new hairstyle. She looks so---"

"Of course." Jeno snorts. "She'd sent me a pic immediately after it was done. In the salon."

Donghyuck retaliates with a subtle, "Ah."

"Did you ran out of jokes that you made him my roommate?"

Jeno's expression and the serious tone of his voice took Donghyuck's unawares. "I told you it really wasn't me. The room assigment given list was just followed."

A breathy sigh left Jeno's mouth. This time, Donghyuck wasn't laughing and it could be true. He's been fretting over everything and blames Donghyuck. It had to be only a bad luck.

"Are you joining a club this year, finally?" Donghyuck asked, looking around the room. It's a funny scene. Jeno's side of the room is diligently organized. While the other, Jaemin's, is full of clutter.

"No thanks." Jeno shooks his head frantically.

"Come on, Jeno. You dance so well.Jisung will join with Yangyang." Donghyuck coaxed.

"My back always hurts. I don't wanna hold back anyone. I'd rather stay in the kitchen with Xiaojun." Jeno talks fast.

"Then let's have a dinner altogether tonight. You cook for us." Donghyuck suggest, enthusiast.

He nods slowly. "Let me nap for a bit."

"Sure. I'll message everyone to go home at 8 o'clock."

"But could you get me a coffee when you get back wherever is it you're going?" Jeno smiles bashful. Donghyuck never liked coffee and hates going to coffee shops but he couldn't say no to Jeno.

"Did you two fight?"Donghyuck asked, worried.

“How many times do I have to tell you Jaemin and I—“

“No, I meant, Ningning..”

“Oh.” Jeno drops his shoulders, shaking his head hesitantly.

"But are you two dating now, though? When are you two going to tell us anything?" Donghyuck cocks his head and leans on the wall. Waiting for Jeno to say something.

"There's nothing going on between us." Jeno denies and looks completely convinced with his answer, confusing Donghyuck.

"A guy and a girl can't be bestfriends without feelings involved." Donghyuck pressed.

"Well of course I love her and she loves me but...It's not what you're thinking." Jeno groaned. He's had enough of this question from everybody.

"But you two look so good together!" Donghyuck says, dramatic.

"What do you expect from two good looking beings?"

"Oh, alright." Donghyuck stood straight, making his way to the door. "Later, okay." He says, and slams the door shut.

The nap took longer than he thought but Jeno was glad Chenle and Jisung already did the groceries for tonight's dinner. At the huge kitchen on their floor, Jeno stood there alone, still trying to pull himself out of sleep. He refused Xiaojun and Donghyuk's help insisting he can do it alone.

"Hyung, you're so sloppy." Jisung, who was grabbing a bottle of juice in the fridge, tells him when he hears Jeno dropped the knife on his foot.

"It happens to everyone in the kitchen." Jeno retaliates, sighing in relief that he's wearing fluffy indoor shoes and didn't get cut on his toes.

Jisung chuckles at his retort. "But hyung, Chenle hates spicy foods. You should make a sweet one and seperate the sauce."

"Oh, I was thinking of mixing them. Thanks for reminding me, I want everyone to enjoy the food." Jeno smiled at him, stirring the sauce in the pan he just sprinkled with spicy seasonings.

There was loud scream in their floor's lobby, probably from Mark and a loud laughter of Donghyuk erupts. "And cheese, hyung!" Jisung reminds him, running outside.Their younger friends that are now middle schoolers are grown ups but still enjoys playing and are the major sources of noise. Mostly because Chenle kept on scolding Jisung. They've been troubled about this matter from the previous dorm they've stayed in and it wouldn't be surprising if the same mishap occurs again. He'd never understand why the kids love Karaoke even.

"Jeno,are you finished?" Xiaojun asked, dashing to where Jeno was standing in front of stove. He leans in, sniffling. "Smells good. Why did you make two pans?"

"Jisung told me to seperate sweet from spicy." Jeno says, reaching out for a spoon. He scoops from the sweet pan and the other, estimating the equal amount and feeds it to Xiaojun.

Xiaojun let's out a satisfied groan when he felt his tongue craving for another taste. "Jeno, you're really good at this! Is it done sooner? I'll set the plates outside."

A smile dangled at the corner of Jeno's lips. "Do that. Prepare the coke too."

"Aye captain!" Xiaojun chimes, patting Jeno a little too hard on the shoulders.

Jeno gasped and slumped his shoulders. "Okay...."

He waits for another five minutes and transferred the sauces into two bowls. Sprinkling a pinch of pepper on both. He placed them on a tray and wash the used utensils first before he carried them to the dining table outside. The others are already seated and Jisung and Xiaojun cheered upon seeing him.

"Finally, real pasta. Real food." Donghyuck says dreamily.

"Is it not called spaghetti?" Chenle asked, eyeing the sauce.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Jisung fights back. He stood up to help Jeno distribute the macaroni on the table plates. Knowing too well that the others have no sense on stuffs like this.

Jaemin, Yangyang and Renjun enters the room right before they start eating.

Jaemin, though, never missed the way Jeno's smiley face turned into a sullen look upon their entrance. He looks at Renjun and Yangyang but it's seeming like he's the only one who noticed such a disdaining demonstration undoubtedly meant for them. Jaemin must have gotten used to it since it's been happening from his first year with them, but being brush-off for uncertain reason makes him intrigued. Sometimes hurt, even. As much as he'd want a clear discussion with Jeno regarding this, he'd most probably be ignored. It didn't matter for a long time, but having to seat beside him in class everyday and being roommates even, worries Jaemin a lot.

"Oh, you guys are here." Yukhei greets them with a toothy smile.

"Yeah I think so too." Yangyang responds, earning a glare from Donghyuck. Not only that, Jaemin hits him on the chest too and he starts making the harrassed face again.

Jaemin felt so left out when Renjun and Yangyang chose their seats in the huge table already, leaving him behind. Mark who probably witnessed his confusion, laughs and stood up.

"Take this seat Jaemin." Mark says, moving over to Donghyuck.

A sigh of relief left Jaemin's mouth but Renjun doesn't even look pleased that Jaemin is sitting beside him.

"Eat without me!" Jeno shouts from the kitchen.

"What is he doing?" Yangyang asked no one particular.

"I'm sure he forgot to wash one plate. Or one spoon. Or there's a .2cm stain in the table." Xiaojun shrugs.

"Let's eat. I'm so hungry." Donghyuk says.

"No, let’s wait for Jen—-he's still in the... kitchen." Jaemin stammers, regretting immediately why he even spoke because everyone is looking at him now.

"Who's still in the kitchen?" Yangyang ask him, piercing onto Jaemin with his usual sarcastic and unrelenting stare.

Jaemin looks at him bug eyed and slacked jaw.

"You can't eat without Jeno?" Yangyang asked again, earning an eruption of laughter from everyone in the table except for Jaemin. "Jeno. Hurry up! Jaemin can't eat without you!"

A sour look made it's way on Jaemin's face, ignoring the attention everyone is giving him. He opts to play with the fork instead, pricking at the macaroni. It would've been the first time he would mention Jeno's name but it felt so unfamiliar in his tongue that he came to a halt.

"What did you say?" Jeno comes out of the kitchen, drying his hand with a tissue. He doesn't seem like he's anticipating any answer when he sat sloppily on his chair, almost falling even.

"Careful." Renjun tells him, and Jeno hummed in return.

Jaemin is certain Jeno loathes the three of them. Always keeping his distance whenever and wherever necessary. But Jaemin couldn't quite grasp as to why is Jeno in bantering terms with Yangyang, and Jaemin noticed his slight attempts of talking to Renjun. Yet, Jeno treats him like a complete air and it doesn't make any sense. And due to this circumstances, Jeno makes Jaemin feel so strained and uneasy. Like there's a need for Jaemin to feel careful whenever he's around.

"Xiaojun's taste better but this isn't so bad." Renjun barbs in the silent table.

At the comment, Jeno's eyes narrows into crinkled slits and feigns ignorance. Renjun shouldn't be saying that if his plate is almost empty and if he isn't continuously nibbling. Jeno guesses it's another way of his mocking so he finds his calm at that.

He scans everyone in the table and was pleased that they're all eating well, shoveling spoonfuls into their mouths. Jeno can simply relate after their one week dilemma of bad food at the dorm's buffet. Jeno supposes they should do this more often and he could ask Xiaojun for help.

His heart, though, sank a little when he glanced at Jaemin. Offended that the other's food is untouched. Is he angry because I called him a pig? Jeno wonders.

"Why aren't you eating, Jeno hyung?" Jisung asked him.

"Ah...I can't eat the food I make."

"Jeno is really weird." Yukhei chuckled, receiving a glare from Donghyuk.

"I've read it somewhere. If you make a food, you anticipate how it's gonna taste like, and you get to smell while you're making it. So you become less hungry for it." Chenle tells Jeno.

"Oh!" Xiaojun gasped. "Then the next time we do this, I'll cook so you can eat with us."

Renjun was the one who responded with a hum. "That's because his cooking is so great, he can eat the food he makes. And watch Chenle's scientific theory go down the drain."

"Oh." Jeno rolled his eyes.

"Why aren't you eating, Jaemin?" Mark asked him.

"We ate crabs. I'm still full."

"You should try, hyung! It tastes good." Jisung tells Jaemin, almost scowling at the wasted opportunity for tasting tonight's dinner.

"But didn't you say you were hungry when we were in the elevator?" Yangyang digs.

Jaemin stared at him wide eyed. He never said that. Yangyang is up to poke fun of him again but it's such a wrong timing now that the other subject of his joke is around. Shaking his head, Jaemin picked up the fork when,

"You don't have to eat if you don't want to." Jeno tells him.

Startled at that, Jaemin lazily pricks at the macaroni. Ignoring the look everyone in the table is sending him. "No, I'll eat it. I'm hun---"

"Don't have to force yourself. I didn't make it for you anyway."

"Oh.." Jaemin snorted, scratching the back of his neck. He dropped the fork on the table and stood up.

Jeno sits straight. His body stiffened at Jaemin's sudden combustion.

"You're right...” Jaemin huffed, shaking his head and dragging his feet quickly to leave the room.

Jeno didn't quite catch what Jaemin said. He opens his mouth to say something, but he froze in his seat and watches Jaemin left the room in awe. Everyone in the table was quiet as well. He looked at Donghyuck who looks rather pleased. As though he accomplished something that Jeno and Jaemin talked to each other on his face, if that was even considered a conversation.

"What the hell, Jaemin." Renjun claps his hands, laughing.

"Is he going to cry?" Yangyang ask out loud, for Jaemin to he hear.

Exactly, this is why Jeno dislike them. The kindest word to describe them is asshole. Who would want to hang around with them? Of course, the another asshole who is Jaemin. All Jeno wants is to keep Xiaojun away from them so he doesn't get infected with their nasties. Specifically Renjun because if he doesn't get on your nerves, it's considered a talent.

"That was mean."

Donghyuck comments with knitted brows. But Jeno could've sworn he was smirking awhile back. The atmosphere is now tense in the table and Jeno wonders if their younger friends are still enjoying the food or simply trying not to pay attention to hyung matters. His question was answered though, when Jisung burped.

"Thanks for the meal." He says, in Japanese.

"Should we follow Jaemin hyung, though?" Chenle asked Jisung who looks just as confused.

"He's fine." Renjun pats his back. "He ate two crabs in 10 minutes that he threw up."

"So he isn't feeling well." Yukhei says, concern. "I'll make him a hangover soup."

"We didn't drink!" Renjun says, defensive when Xiaojun looks at him. "I swear."

"Where did you three went, though?" Mark asked them.

"I forgot." Yangyang shrugs.

Jeno could've sworn he has one too many reasons to dislike this group of three. Not that he's nice himself, he isn't the Mark type of generous and unbothered, or the Yukhei type who just brush off everything and smiles at everything, but Jeno at least knew and makes use of the word respect. It seems like those three have long forgotYangyang that the word even exists. Xiaojun's closeness to Renjun really concerns him.

"I got De Jun a new flash drive too." Renjun announced, handing the small device from his shirt pocket to Xiaojun.

"You didn't need to call me that." Xiaojun scowled, although laughing.

"It's so cute."

"Are you two done flirting?" Donghyuck asked them.

Jeno looks at Donghyuck in disbelief. If it wasn't Yangyang who puts malice on everything, it's Donghyuck. He never shut up over little things like skinship which should be normal to everyone of them since they've been friends for years. The others basically ignore Donghyuck though. And that had Jeno thinking if Donghyuck being malicious is the problem, or himself for being problematic.

"But hey, you just made Jaemin walk out on you." Yangyang tells Jeno. Still digging in the topic.

And suddenly, it sinks in. Was he too mean? Jeno wonders. If he's not in good terms with Jaemin, he should be careful with his words. Jaemin most likely got offended when he called him a "pig" earlier but Jeno guesses if it was Donghyuck he called that, he wouldn't even flinch.

"Well I--,I." Jeno snorts. What is there to say.

"Apologise to him. You were mean!" Renjun tells him with a laugh.

Jeno looks at Donghyuck again, asking for help, but the other is just pretending to busy himself with his empty plate. Drawing circles on the leftover sauce with his fork. Jeno wanted Donghyuck to be his bestfriend when Ningning isn't around, to be the person who he tells all his worries to, but Donghyuck thinks otherwise. Donghyuck could've stand up for him and at least tell Renjun that Jaemin was mean too.

"I'm older than him." Jeno tries to defend.

"By four months?" Yangyang furrowed his brows.

"Really?" Jeno asked. If he's only older than Jaemin by four months, that means they're born on the same year. Wasn't Jaemin born the same year as Chenle? Jeno wonders. He thought Jaemin is simply the type who would drop the honorary but it seems he’s just the same age as Jeno, Renjun, Donghyuck and Xiajun.

"Even so, doesn't allow you any privilege to chew him out. I understand that two of you don't get along, but was it necessary for you to tell him off?"

Jeno bows his head, he couldn't look at anyone now. He didn't have to look up to know that Renjun, Yangyang, Donghyuck are controlling their laughter. If Mark has a problem other than being too nice that's a little too close to being gullible, he gets emotionally worked up. It's the exact reason why Donghyuk is avoiding him now.

"It's fine. It's not like Jaemin is offended, Mark hyung."

Jeno hears Yangyang says. He flinched when he felt a soft kick on his foot, and he looks up to Renjun who cocked his head a little and gestures him to leave.

"I'll wash the dishes. Bring in your plates if you're finished."

Jeno announced, standing up and making his way back to the kitchen. With a heavy shoulders, he heaves a sigh once he was alone. Beginning to wash the plates when he heard Xiaojun followed him.

"I'll help you." Xiaojun offers, carrying the plates.

"Okay, thank you." Jeno moves aside, washing his hands.

"Don't overthink it." Renjun tells Jeno and joins them. "The last time I felt concern for Jaemin, I didn't."

"Hyung, what are you saying?" Xiaojun looks back to where Renjun is standing near the fridge and laugh.

Jeno watches them. It's not the first time Mark scolded him, there were worse events than this. There was one time even when Mark caught him mocking Ningning, it was bestfriends thing, but Mark lectures him in front of the class and all Jeno could do was hide himself in embarrassment until Ningning told Mark that they were just playing around. Or that one time when Jeno kicks Donghyuk in the ass for being too loud in the library, Mark gets back on him by pinching his ears, asking Jeno what it felt like to be tortured by someone older. Jeno had to convince him it wasn't "torture" and that he only wanted to discipline Jisung, for two hours. Although what happened this time, Jeno is sure it's just Mark and his special favors towards Jaemin.

Now it's different, though. Probably because they all know that Jeno and Jaemin aren't buddy-buddy, and distant, even. This is the first time that Renjun, someone he considers a foe, tries to coax him.

"Jaemin is so nice. Yangyang never hold back on kicking him around." Renjun says. He held back what else he had in his mouth when he saw Jeno looking at him with judgmental look, he moves forward to help Xiaojun on the sink and pushing Jeno away.

"He is." Xiaojun agrees, nodding vigorously for Jeno to see.

Jeno guesses it's their way to cajole him into thinking that he didn't hurt Jaemin and to butter up what Mark just said. To not make him feel bad about what just happened. Jeno must've really looked guilty about it that it shows on his face. But Jeno believes he isn't guilty at all. So, Renjun has this kind of sense in him? He thought.

"Jaemin is so quite and reserved. I get it why Yangyang likes to make fun of him." Xiaojun muses.

"He never tells us anything, either." Renjun tells him. "But it's fine, he talks to Jisung and Mark about his worries."

"But the two of you are his bestfriends. Doesn't he trust you?" Jeno finds himself intruding.

He doesn't know anything about Jaemin. And he even only found out today that they were born in the same year. Jaemin is made up in his head by the saying; "You are who your friends are.", and his friends are Renjun and Yangyang so that tells a lot about him. Jeno doesn't really know Jaemin. Generally, he is quiet. He's been classmates with Jaemin for three years and they happened to be seatmates now. Jaemin often sleeps in classes, if he's not bothering Yukhei to copy his seatwork or do his assignments. Sometimes, he gives remarks or agrees when they all hang out together just to make his presence known. Also, he occasionally engages when their younger friends would talk about video games. Jaemin's consistent companions are Renjun and Yangyang who are the experts for mocking him. It's not that Jeno observes Jaemin. It's just that his wide grin, showing off his perfectly aligned and white teeth, is too conspicuous that Jeno couldn't help but look at. It's often seen on unnecessary times too, and Jeno just want to believe that Jaemin's gummy smile is pure sarcasm.

"Nah but only because he doesn't want to trouble us." Renjun tells him, yawning. "This is tiring and boring. I'll go back to my room."

Really an ass.

"Go ahead, Injun. Goodnight."

Jeno just stand there on the side wondering why he even second thought Renjun when he's a goof that speaks for itself. He was pulled out in his trance when Xiaojun nudged him on the shoulders and ask for help.

When Jeno went back to his room, the lights were off and only the light from Jaemin's phone to lit the room. For a minute, he hesitates whether or not he should switch the light on. Jeno isn't afraid of him or anything, but if Jaemin just decides to get even....... With shaking fingers, he flicked the switch, the white light emitting the room in an instant. His body stiffens when Jaemin who's sitting on his bed looks up at him.

Jeno quickly looks away and dashed through his bed. If he is this perturbed, it was guilt most likely, and that could only mean Mark was right. Jeno is used to saying mean things to everyone and getting away with it but that probably doesn't apply to just anyone. Maybe because Jaemin isn't his close friend.

"Jae-Jaemin." Jeno begins, his back facing the other. The name sounding so foreign in his tongue. "About what I said today, I was rude to you. I'm sorry."

"Did Yangyang tricked you to apologize to me?" Jaemin asked with a chuckle walking towards him, making Jeno look up.

Jeno was taken aback by how friendly his voice sounds, but the grin on Jaemin's face breaks him to it. Jaemin raised a hand to pat Jeno on the top of his head in a quick motion and scampers to the comfort room, shutting the door loud.

What did Jeno expect? He's an asshole and offers nothing but mockery. His laugh sounds so irritating that Jeno wants to pull out his hair Jaemin laid his fingers on.

And Jeno scoffed in defeat.

>From: YangyangYangyang

ey chicken ballsack did u cry. Jeno was so mean im so angry him i really want to hit him so bad if it wasn't for the hyungs watching

>To: YangyangYangyang

You shouldnt do that. Haha

>From: YangyangYangyang

wow u reply fast. were u texting anyone?

Jaemin anticipates he would ask that. He isn't one to use his phone for communications unless it's excessively important. It's either on airplane mode when he plays games, or readzoning everyone and replying an hour later. Yangyang may act clinical and insulting all the time but he worries the most and Jaemin appreciates that Jaemin knows his text was to check on him.

>From: YangyangYangyang

:))))))))))))))):::)))

>From: YangyangYangyang

can i join

>From: Ningning Bear

I took that earlier and forgot to send you, I'm at school now

Jeno was typing a reply and quickly pulled his phone down the desk when the door burst open. But it was just Jaemin scampering inside the room in a hurry, and sat on his seat beside Jeno. It didn't change that they're roommates now. To Jeno, Jaemin is still a nonentity.

"Ca-can I copy your homework?"

It was an abrupt request and Jeno still doesn't fancy having him around. Particularly after what just happened between them in Saturday's dinner. Solely, he side eyes Jaemin and closed his notebook. And he swore Jaemin was hopeful for a second.

"No."

"P--please. Just today." Jaemin pleads, making a face of what looks like a kicked puppy. Grabbing Jeno's arm.

"I said no." Jeno shrugs him away.

"I'll owe you forever, please!" Jaemin begs. He reached out to palms Jeno's cheeks with both hands only to be shoved away.

"Stop touching me!" Jeno shrieked. Keeping his calm and looks around the class. No one is looking and he sighed. He'd seen this before, Jaemin sweet-talking Yukhei to copy his home work but it's not going to work on Jen---

"Please, just let me copy your work. I---I'll..." Jaemin hissed. "I'll clean the room. I'll buy you food. I'll do anything."

Jeno's eyes lit up. "Really?" He spits, lips turning upwards.

Jaemin looks reluctant when he nodded.

"Okay, I'll think about it." Jeno says, handing his notebook to Jaemin. He looks so desperate and Jeno could make use of that.

Jeno felt proud when Mr. Choi returned their papers and he got a one hundred. But his heart skipped a beat when he asked Jaemin, "Did you copy Mr. Lee's work?" Instead of making a quick lie to save his ass, Jaemin looks at Jeno for a brief moment, and Jeno had a trouble breathing because Jaemin is taking too long to answer and what he thought was a brief moment turned into Jaemin staring at him. Jaemin's brows furrowed a bit, as if to express disgust and Jeno wants to whack his face if he wouldn't get to trouble in front of Mr. Choi.

"Nah. I can do better."

Was Jaemin's nonchalant answer and Jeno fights all the urge to kick him under the table. The whole morning classes ended with Jeno restraining himself from brawling Jaemin and it made his head hurt. Only he was able to breathe a sigh of relief when the bell rang for lunch break.

"What do you mean you can do better?" Jeno couldn't help but ask when only a few students are left in the room.

"Huh?" Jaemin looks at him. "You think he would believe it if I said no?"

And somehow it made sense, but still. "But you did! And it’s not gonna make him believe when you said you can do better than me, either.”

Jaemin steps back. "No one said I didn't okay." He huffed, picking up his notes. "I said I'd do you a favor. Have you thought about it?"

"Jaem---Jen!" Was Yangyang's loud shout from the door.

Jeno scrunched his face at how obscene his name sounds like next to Jaemin's. He pushed Jaemin to the side as he exits the room and Yangyang was smiling to greet him but Jeno sees Ningning in the hallways and his attention altered to her quickly.

"Ningning!" Jeno chimes, walking towards her with arms wide open for an embrace.

"Don't be gross!" Ningning flicks him on the forehead.

"Dude, can't you be nice at least a little when people are around." Jeno scowled, scratching his forehead. He ignores the blank gaze Jaemin is giving him and Yangyang's comment about unrequited love. He glanced at them from behind and signals them to leave.

"I get it you're excited to see her but...Jeno, you are noisy." Sehwi tells him.

If Jeno had seen her earlier, he wouln't even bother a greeting. There was more to life than to deal with Sehwi's pique. Jeno couldn't picture how Ningning can even stand her or why is Jaemin even dreaming. With a defeated sigh, Jeno sends Ningning a subtle wink with both eyes and left.

When he enters the cafeteria, it wasn't difficult to find their table when Donghyuck's laughter was erupting from the door. The seats were occupied except for one and Jeno could've sworn he'd rather sit on the other table or not eat lunch at all, than to sit beside Mark. After the last earful from him, Jeno developed an irrational fear.

Jaemin who sits in between Renjun and Yangyang stood up and looks at him, before moving to the seat Jeno wants to avoid. Jeno fights all his urge to tell him he didn't have to cos otherwise, it would still be a long conversation.

"Oh." Was everyone's reaction in unison.

"Really Jaemin?" Donghyuck asked, laughing.

Jeno sits down, wary that Renjun is watching him intently. He has yet to even see how whack today's meal is but he already lost his appetite. Renjun is the type to rest his palm on Jeno's thigh just to get on his nerves. And there is Yangyang too, who always has his way to make everything intensely aggravating.

"Didn't you bought this meal for him, too?"

Jeno looks in front of him and there lies a meal box that still has it's cover on. So Jaemin wasn't lying when he said he'd buy Jeno food.

"Wow, really Jaemin? Since when did you two become intimate?"

Both Jeno and Jaemin choked at his use word. Quite unsure if it's because Yangyang often still has his confusion over Korean language or if he really meant that.

"Say what?" Jeno snarled at him.

"Intimate." Yangyang repeats.

"Yangyang, you always buy me food but we aren't intimate." Jaemin tells Yangyang a matter of factly.

"Oh, is that an invite?" Donghyuck guffawed, hitting Yukhei in the process who's clapping beside him.

"Oh man, not my type." Yangyang says in disgust. "Try asking Jeno."

Jeno doesn't think he'll ever get used to being the subject of Yangyang's mockery. It's always an endless mention of his name whatever matter and he suspects Yangyang teases him because the younger enjoys how he's easily pissed. Jeno tries not to roll his eyes, opening the lid of his lunch. Lately, he'd learned to feign ignorance being the laughingstock neglecting their pleasantry. But not when Jaemin is laughing and choking on his food. Jeno stares at him, baffled.

"Are you okay?" Yukheu asked, patting the his back. His face was a mix of worried and trying not to laugh.

"Stop saying that." Jaemin tells Yangyang with a cough. Tears forming in his eyes.

"This is Jaemin's type of comedy." Yukhei enunciates.

"Yup, he'd seen Bareback Mountain just last week." Renjun agrees.

"That's not true!" Jaemin objects and he began with another fit of laughter, causing everyone in the table to laugh except for Jeno.

Jeno closed his eyes in dismay. Today is going to be another long day.

Jaemin tries to make out the difference between being roommates and in the same class with Jeno, from being not. He found himself tiptoeing and unmoving at most. Jeno is very strict and sensitive and Jaemin doesn't want to be scolded.

So when the lunch finished and Jaemin entered their classroom after a small chat with Yangyang and Renjun, Jeno was already on his seat looking ahead of the board. There wasn't anything written on it,'though, so it's either Jeno really likes disregarding his presence or Jeno really hates Jaemin and considers him a nobody. Maybe to Jeno, Jaemin is a mere stranger.

Jaemin didn't realize that he was staring until Jeno turned to face him saying, "Take a picture if you like it so much." And Jaemin takes his phone out and lifts it up close to Jeno's face but he snarled at him, "What are you doing?!"

"I'm taking a pic---"

"Leave me alone!"

Jeno looks so angry when he shrugged him away and Jaemin puts his phone back to his pocket. Leaning back, he watches Jeno fix his uniform necktie and Jaemin looks down on his crooked one, fixing it as well. Jeno probably took his action as mimicking and opened his mouth to rant, but Jaemin was thankful their teacher gets in the room just in time. It would've been a long conversation but today, Jaemin got lucky.

When the classes ended and all their classmates sprints outside, Jaemin moves aside to let Jeno pass before greeting Renjun waiting for him by the door.

"What was that?" Renjun asked when he saw the sullen glance Jeno sent Jaemin that he probably missed. "Did you two fight?"

Jaemin snorts and chuckled. "Why do you guys keep assuming we are fighting?"

"Because." Renjun cuts himself. Knowing Jaemin isn't the type to argue with anybody for a long time so it's probably just Jeno who's still fuming over Saturday's dinner incident. "You coming at the arcade?"

"Today?"

Renjun nods. "Xiaojun is coming along. Yukhei hyung too."

"Ah." Jaemin bits his bottom lip. It would've been a great opportunity to have fun and reward himself after getting a text awhile back that he made it to the elimination game of school's soccer team. "I'll pass."

"Oh." Renjun scowled. "Yangyang isn't going to let you."

Jaemin made a startled face and looked behind. He's lucky Yangyang wasn't around and pats Renjun on the shoulder twice. "I'll make it up to you guys next time." He says, and sprints away.

But Renjun was quick on running and grabbed him on the collar, causing Jaemin to choke. "Where could you possibly be going? A date?"

"A date?" Jaemin repeats, standing up straight.

"Tell me what is it, honestly. I'll make an alibi as to why you're ditching us to Yangyang."

Jaemin groaned inwardly. Knowing well that Renjun isn't going to let him go this time. Last Sunday, he told them he's sick to his stomach and ditched all their plans the whole day when all he did was stay his dorm room cleaning up his scattered belongings because Jeno wouldn't stop muttering and mopping the floor. Jaemin was so afraid he didn't dared to step on it that he ends up sleeping while never leaving his bed.

Renjun was waiting and before he could grasp him on the neck this time, Jaemin leans in and whispered, "I have diarrhea."

Jaemin somewhat regrets his idea of reasoning because Renjun pushed him hard, but before he could say anything,Jaemin grinned at him wide and run away.

Jeno was the one who gets Donghyuck into reading mangas. At first it was fun to talk about his favorites with someone who's interested and go to bookstores to check out new releases. Until Donghyuck gets addicted that he had to pester Jeno into going to bookstores with him every week so he wouldn't be outdated with One Piece. Jeno complains a lot and tells him to read on the internet instead but Donghyuck lectured him about illegal copyrights.

So when Jeno gets home with an aching back to what he expects was the smell of shoes, rather he was welcomed with the fragrance of what he assumed the smell of apple freshener. Locking the door behind him, Jeno was surprised at Jaemin peeking out from the bathroom. A huge part of his shirt was soaked with water and he's holding a brush.

"You came just in time. I finished cleaning." Jaemin tells him and beams at Jeno with his usual wide grin. Showing off his white teeth.

Jeno's face scrunched at it. Somehow Jaemin's wide grin makes him feel ridiculed. He doesn't know how it happened, but it seemed like everything Jaemin does rubs him the wrong way.

"Hold up a minute." Jaemin tells him, closing the bathroom door.

Jeno didn't mind him and walks to his bed. Changing from his uniform to his sleeping clothes in a swift motion. He sighed, and finished just in time and Jaemin is coming out of bathroom.

"Have you eaten ?" Jaemin asked.

Jeno hummed a question.

"I passed by a pizza booth today." Jaemin says, setting up the mini table they have in the room. He pulls out two boxes from the paper bag he was holding. "I got one for you."

"Really?" Jeno uttered, walking to the table. He was hungry, but cleaning the bathroom and buying him food isn't Jaemin's obligation and he wants to make it clear. Just as he was about to talk about it, Jaemin pulls him down on the chair.

"Fries and chicken fingers for you." Jaemin tells him, sitting on the opposite and opening Jeno's box.

The food indeed was appetizing, but Jeno felt ashamed when he saw Jaemin's hand. "Jaemin, your hands."

"Oh." Jaemin pulls back quickly, embarrassed. Jeno might not eat the food he touched so he offered his untouched one. "I'm sorry, you can have mine---"

"No, I mean. They're red."

Jaemin looks at his palm and closed them immediately. "It's nothing." He says, giving the other his reassuring smile.

"You used the bleach without the gloves. Did you hurt yourself?" Jeno asked, worried, but Jaemin only looked down. "Jaemin, you don't have to do all this. I'm sorry if I'm making you feel obliged. You bought me lunch earlier and that's enough already."

Jaemin looks at Jeno, cracking another smile. "But, you always do these cleaning stuffs. And I'm your roommate. So it should be fair that I should help too."

Jeno gave him a languid nod. Picking up the fork to eat. It would've been very appetizing if he didn't feel this guilty.

"You don't like your food?" Jaemin asked, worried. "It's okay, you don't have to---"

"No, I just." Jeno snorts. "We're not really close friends and I--I find this weird."

Jaemin chuckled. "That's why we should begin today."

And Jeno forced a smile, nodding.

The next days didn't go well as Jaemin expected because Jeno still wasn't talking to him anyway. And he just laughed it off one day when Ningning asked him where Jeno was as if he would know, as if Jeno would tell him. They'll be roommates, classmates and seatmates for a year but treats each other like strangers and Jaemin finds it quite hilarious. It's an endless year for their friends too to poke fun at them about it.

"Na Jaemin the soccer varsity player slash the housecleaner." Yangyang tells Renjun excitedly. They were at the arcade and decides to enter the karaoke when they were drained from the games.

"Why do you always say unnecessary things at unnecessary times you unnecessary monkey." Jaemin whacks Yangyang with the mic. It was Jaemin's turn to sing but he couldn't unhear what Yangyang entitled him. The lyrics started appearing on the screen but Jaemin wasn't paying attention anymore. Another token wasted. The first token was when Renjun entitled him the diarrhea king in the middle of his singing. Second was when Yangyang lied about phone calling Sehwi so she could hear Jaemin's hearty performance.

"He just called you an unnecessary person." Renjun says in a fit of laughter, drumming Yangyang's leg with his hands.

"Now I lost my chance to get a hundred. That was our last token, you monkey." Jaemin jumps at Yangyang and fake strangles him.

"Goddamnit, Jaemin. It's over between us!" Yangyang squaled when Jaemin tickled him merciless.

"Yeah?" Jaemin chuckled, trapping Yangyang in the corner of the small both.

"Renjun! Help me!" Yangyang choked a sob.

"Nah, I like it. I like watching breakups." Renjun smiled maniacally.

Jaemin pulled away from Yangyang, shaking his head. "You're the exact reason why Jeno dislikes us."

Renjun helds his chest in defense, offended. "But excuse me, I don't like him either."

"He likes Xiaojun." Yangyang yelps in pain when Renjun flicks at his forehead.

"Yeah. Renjun likes Xiaojun." Jaemin quips and was lucky he stepped back quick when Renjun tries to kick him.

"It's okay, we still love you." Yangyang tells him.

Jaemin was waiting for Yangyang to laugh, or another remark from Renjun. But instead, he fell limply beside Yangyang and shoves his face on the other's neck. He squints at their actions and was to about to ask what's happening but decided not to when he saw the way Renjun was clenching his fist.

"Man, tell me what's going on with Renjun?"

Jaemin asked Yangyang when they were alone in Yangyang's dorm. Donghyuck was out and has yet to come home from his dinner with Mark and Yukhei. Jaemin doesn't really intrude with anything his friends doesn't tell him but Renjun's sudden change of mood concerns him lately.

"Asshat that's Donghyuck's!"

Jaemin ignored Yangyang's protest and closed the fridge. Carefully opening the lid of the tiny ice cream cup. "Answer me." He pressed, following Yangyang on the couch and flopping next to him.

"I'll tell you when he tells me."

"You mean you'll tell me when he tells you to tell me." Jaemin corrects, chewing on the ice cream loud.

"It was last week when he said he doesn't feel good about something but he never really told me about it." Yangyang admits, pushing his hair back. "I thought that something was you and Jeno being roommates but I'm starting to think it's about himself."

"Huh?" Jaemin huffed. "What does me and Jeno had to do with---"

"Come on, even the kids talked about it." Yangyang says matter of factly.

"You're changing the topic."

"You're ditching us because of Jeno."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm no---"

"Go back to your room." Yangyang stood up, grabbing the empty cup from Jaemin's hands.

"No!" Jaemin protested. Sagging deeper in to the couch, but Yangyang was stronger and able to pull him up.

"Get out you stinky rat." Yangyang pushed him by the door, laughing. "Why are you so afraid of him anyway?"

"I'm not afraid to Jen.”

"I see you’re in terms of calling each other nicknames now."

"No--no no wait wait! Do I still smell like---"

Yangyang was smiling maniacally as he manhandles Jaemin out of the room. "You do." He quips, and shuts the door on the other's face.

If there's any way Jaemin can go back to his room without having to notice the smell of beer in him, he'd do it. But Jeno is too sensitive that he wakes up even with the sound of Jaemin's careful steps anywhere in their room. He really didn't want to drink but he doesn't want to let Renjun drink on his own when Yangyang made his point that he wouldn't. He'd chew several gums already and it worked for his breath, except for his shirt.

Jaemin stealthily walks in, taking off his shirt in a swift motion. Ignoring the piercing gaze Jeno is throwing at him from his bed.

"Why are you stripping? Your body isn't even that nice to look at."

Jaemin felt flustered at Jeno's words that he turned his back on him, rummaging quickly through his closet. He picked a white tank top that Jeno might have say again, and wears it fast. Ignoring Jeno's insulting chimes. "I need your help."

"Of all people, you need my help?" Jeno cuts him off, making a face and flopping down on his bed.

Jeno's dislike for him might be over the rooftop but Jaemin would still be trying to reach out on him. He doesn't retaliate to avoid worsening what's already bad that Jeno has for him. He didn't expect Jeno to be this mean, but then again it was probably only to Jaemin who's presence alone riles him up.

"You understand these words more than the dictionary." Jaemin walks towards Jeno's bed with his book. His attempt to sit on his bed was a fail because Jeno is kicking him away.

"Don't talk to me!" Jeno screeched, hiding under the covers.

"It's just one favor." Jaemin enunciates. Pulling the covers off of Jeno who's protesting in return.

"Ask someone else!" Jeno yelps when Jaemin was triumphant on removing the blanket off him.

"I'm asking you!" Jaemin shouts, pulling his one leg up the bed. Before Jeno could possibly hit him, Jaemin grasps at his wrists and holds them down with Jeno's head in between. It's getting late and he only wanted Jeno to help him for tomorrow's quiz on literature. Jaemin doesn't know either why he's doing this, trapping the older and gripping on his wrist tighter for him to concede. But seeing the look on Jeno's face, his fear was evident and Jaemin suddenly felt triumphant. A smile made it's way to Jaemin's lips, staring down at Jeno with worried eyes. His handsome face, whatever expression, was stunning. Godly, Jaemin thinks, if only he doesn't have a mouth that ruins everything.

"L--let go of me. I'm going to spit on your face." Jeno taunts, closing his eyes.

It wasn't at all intimidating and had Jaemin chuckling, freeing his wrists. He pulls back to sit on Jeno's desk chair, feeling guilty when the other was scratching his red wrists. It was only for fun yet Jaemin must've gone too enthralled that he clenched Jeno too hard.

"I didn't mean to do that." Jaemin says, worried. He reaches out but Jeno shrugs him away.

"You are so fucking mean."

Jaemin leans back, taken aback by the cuss.

"And you look so ugly close up." Jeno spits, grabbing Jaemin's book and scans through the pages.

It would've been very offending if Jeno didn't look like a silly, sulky kitYangyang while saying it.

"What kind of birdbrain don't know what this meant, you’re Korean, you’re not Chenle, you’re not Renjun, you’re not Yangyang, you’re not Xiaojun, you’re not Yukhei hyung." Jeno scowled, pointing on a paragraph on the poem he's sure Jaemin is having a hard time understanding.

"Say that again, I'm telling Mark hyung you called me a bird brain." Jaemin threaYangyangs, although he didn't mean it. Chuckling inwardly by the way Jeno's shoulder sags.

"I don't want to talk to you. Give me a pen, I'm gonna rephrase and write it instead."

"You're really cute." Jaemin laughed.

"Shut up."

"Cute."

"Your breath smell like a skunk's."

As much as he didn't want to be affected by Jeno's word vomit, Jaemin's jaw dropped at the insult.

"Why do I need to waste my time watching some football game I have no interest in." Jeno scoffs at Donghyuck, the last words sounding like a whisper.

Donghyuck noticed it, he looks to his back and saw Mark approaching them. "So, you're coming with us."

"He is." Yukhei says, chuckling. He looks around and noticed Yangyang and Renjun not around. "Where are his best buds? Usually they're five hours early to doze off at the bleachers. Skipping classes."

"Yangyang was sleeping in the library." Mark says.

"Renjun is still at the science laboratory too." Adds Xiaojun.

"What time does the game starts?" Yukhei asked.

"At four." Donghyuck replies. He pulled Jeno on the arm and signals for other's to follow him. It's only a quarter to four but they need good seats for the game.

"Trap him so he doesn't escape." Yukhei announces.

Mark heard it and exchanged seats with Xiaojun so Jeno is in between him and Donghyuck. He gave Jeno a friendly smile and the younger only looks away.

"Stop laughing." Jeno gibes at Donghyuck. Though, avoiding Mark’s gaze, he slumped on his seat to emphasize his apathy for today's soccer game. Not to mention, it was Jaemin's game. "Xiaojun buy me food or I'll cry."

Laughter erupts from the back. Jeno directs his eyes to see Yangyang and Renjun sitting now, probably laughing at his request.

"Renjun, buy me that stuff. Please." Jeno begs, pointing at the hotdog stall down the bleachers.

"You're into hotdogs?" Renjun questions, standing up.

"What kind of question was that." Yukhei croaks from his seat, laughing and looks confused if he heard it right.

If Jeno disapproves of Jaemin's existence, Kun basically would want to choke Renjun whenever he gets the chance and if it wasn't illegal.

"Hot. Dogs." Yangyang accentuates. Earning a pinch on the ear from Xiaojun.

"Damn it. It wasn't me." Yangyang protested. "And he's really going to get you a hotdog, Renjun. “He snickered, amused as he watch Renjun climb down the stairs.

A loud horn goes off and signals the players that the game was about to start. Just in time that Jeno finished his food. Ignoring Yangyang's comment of how fast he can devour big hotdogs. Scanning the pack of players entering the field, Jeno spots the bowl haircut and laughed when he saw Jaemin almost stumbling on his foot. Jaemin kept on patting his chest and poking another player who Jeno guesses was Hendery..

"What's he so nervous about?" Jeno asked Donghyuck.

Renjun who was leaning in from behind their seats, answered "His team needs to win. If they lose this game, they'd be training for another year and won’t make it to the finals at Thailand.”

"Oh." Jeno made an 'o' face.

There are two things he'd notice regarding Jaemin. First, after that tutoring incident when Jaemin pinned him down on his bed, he was acting clingy. Jaemin tries to give him a highfive whenever that Jeno mostly ignore, but when he forgets it was Jaemin and high fives back, Jaemin would grab his hand and turns it into a hand shake. Also, there were times Jaemin would just sit on his bed when Jeno is watching anime on his laptop insisting to watch with him. Jaemin also made it a habit to pet Jeno's hair every time they had to part from school, or whenever he's leaving the dorm. Jeno is sure he'd push the presumptous Jaemin enough yet he always return with another comeback that can piss Jeno even more.

Another thing was Jaemin acting like a zombie most of the time in their dorm. If he wasn't working out or skipping meals for his diet, Jaemin is a gourmand that eats anything edible he finds. Even so, the pressure on his shoulders for his football matters are visible with the bags under his eyes.

"So, do we wish he win or not?" Jeno asked Renjun who ignored his question.

Jeno focuses back on the field. He isn't really inclined of sports, he finds it boring especially soccer. The game progress is slow. Little did he notice that from his sarcasm reactions and cheers, mimicking the people around him, that he was actually watching. Despite stumbling several times, Jaemin was always able to get up quickly to his battlefield yet again.Seeing Jaemin playing for his dear life, brings into Jeno's concrete existence that this Jaemin on the field is a dreamer. Jeno laughs to himself at how emotional his made up metamorphosis about Jaemin was, reckoning as why he even thought about that.

"Nice one." Jeno muttered to himself when Jaemin was jumping around in the field after making a goal.

"He's so amazing. I'm so proud." Donghyuck whispers beside him, clapping his hands.

"Then cry." Jeno quips. Although he was startled as to how quick Jaemin was running and able to steal the ball from the opponent.

Donghyuck elbows him.

Jeno was about to complain how painful it was when the loud cheer from the audience erupt in stadium, and everyone was standing up and clapping except for him still sitting idly. And the next minute was Donghyuck and Xiaojun manhandling and pulling him down to the field. Jeno's protests and screeching fell on deaf ears with the sound of what could be a ditty from the winning team and their audiences and Jeno doesn't even know what's going on anymore. Maybe his team, Jaemin's opponents, won.

He almost tripped when Donghyuck and Xiaojun freed him, sprinting away from Jaemin who's running towards them. Arms open wide. All their friends shuns away from what could be Jaemin's sweaty embrace but Jeno, who's one shoes was taken off, was left in the middle and begrudgingly received the quick hug.

"Mama!" Jeno yelps, feeling his neck and left cheek soaked with undeniably sweat.

“I’m your mama?” Donghyuck asked.

“Wait, who’s the papa?” Mark asked Donghyuck.

Jaemin was quick on stepping back, holding his both hands in defense. "Th--that was water. I swear."

"Go away." Jeno wanted to pass out in disgust, kicking on his feet. He runs behind Donghyuck, wiping himself on his back.

"Jeno what the heck." Donghyuck asserted, shrugging him away but Jeno's grasp on his uniform was too strong. Sighing in defeat, he lets Jeno be. He can take off his coat and wash it clean, but Jeno's despise to Jaemin, never anymore.

Jaemin sat on the grass field, clutching at his shoes. Carefully watching Jeno and Donghyuck as guilt throbs in his chest. A few seconds ago he was happy for their team's victory, and now, he probably need to find a new dorm to stay in.

"I--it was Donghyuck's fault. He pulled away." Was Jaemin's failed reasoning. He really didn't intend to do that to Jeno.

"But hey that was sweet." Yangyang says laughing.

"Don't ever come near me." Jeno warns.

Jaemin was nodding like an idiot. Pouring a bottled water on his head. Donghyuck might agree on switching rooms with him now.

Yangyang comments about how sad it was when the Titanic sank reenacting the famous movie with Xiaojun. But Jeno wasn't having any of that anymore so he turned around and departs from them to make his point.

Jeno takes his time in the comfort room. Erasing every sign of Jaemin's sweat off him. It's the first time he was forced to watch Jaemin's game, and today's mishap was a signal for him to never do it again. It's not that he was grossed out. Maybe only a little of that but he's positive that Jaemin is a clean man. It's the thought it was a very uncalled-for gag and Jeno had to endure such lack of mental maturity.

He was lucky to find Ningning in the hallway just as he got out of the comfort room. Jeno needs to release his annoyance.

"Why are you still on your laboratory gown? Wait. Did Renjun left you to do all the work again." Jeno ask, worried. Forgetting his own concern.

"Something close to that. Chenle was of help, though. " Ningning tells him. "Why are you still here? Did you watch the game?"

And Jeno finds his chance to tell him what just happened.

"But Jeno, that's normal joke for guys. Because guys are gross." Ningning tells him that had Jeno cringing in an instant. "You're friends aren't the sensitive type. Also, you've been living with them for years. Shouldn't you have gotten used to that already."

Jeno was about to defend but he still was sane enough to know that Ningning is making a point so he only juts his bottom lip for her to realize how violated he felt at the moment.

"And it's unfair for you to hate on someone for no reason."

"I don't hate Jaemin. I just..." Jeno halts. In wonder if ever Ningning will consider his reasoning that he doesn't hate Jaemin, he just didn't like him.

"You just?" She asked.

"Hungry..."

Ningning snorts. "Fine, let's get you something to eat. I'll just sign the attendance."

Jaemin thought that incident at the soccer field would be his last offense and he will get the bone-chilling treatment that he deserves. Jeno is really intimidating and it didn't matter how cautious Jaemin is around him when the perspective was fixed that; Jeno is right, therefore Jaemin is wrong.

So when Mark assigns them to do the groceries, Jaemin was so belittled from their first step inside the store. He wondered why he hadn't disappeared yet. Jaemin was only suggesting and every words he say, Jeno assumes he was teasing. So when Jaemin opts zip his mouth to avoid any more conflict, Jeno named him a snobbish, useless and ugly jock.

Jaemin was drained not only from pushing the cart, but also from avoiding the tittering gaze the people are sending him upon hearing Jeno's scolding.

"Do we need more spices?"

"I ----"

"Nevermind. You know nothing about the kitchen." Jeno says, shaking his head. As though Jaemin was never of help this whole time.

"Then stop asking me." Jaemin scoffed, dragging the cart and leaving Jeno on the food seasonings section.

"Why are you so angry?" Jeno stepped back, hurt.

"I-- I'm not angry." Jaemin scoffs, trying his best to calm. Jeno is so weird. He kept on yelling at Jaemin over nothing and when Jaemin raised his voice only a little, he's upset.

Jeno only snorts, making a face and stomping away leaving Jaemin no choice but the follow him.

"Are you still mad? When I hugged you?" Jaemin asked, hesitant.

"Don't call it a hug. I have no affection for you."

"I didn't say there's affection between us." Jaemin quoted the word.

"My loathing for you isn't downscaling, it's just adding up."

"Why do you hate me so much?" Jaemin queries. They never really talked about this whole warfare matter and now it's his chance to ask Jeno.

"I don't like your friends and that includes you." Was Jeno's quick reply.

"That doesn't make sense." Jaemin retaliates. He grasp at Jeno's arm to stop him from sprinting away. "You're in better terms with them than you are with me. That can't be the reason."

"I just don't feel like having you around or talking to you, okay." Jeno says, facing him. "Stop making a fuss over something so petty."

Jaemin stares back at Jeno, by the calmness of his gaze, he wonders if Jeno was lying. No one hot under the collar would be looking that tender. He suddenly feel like embracing Jeno and telling him Jaemin can bear with him whatever goes on. If things aren't too complicated between them. Jaemin just want to be his friend.

"Should we get snacks too?" Jeno asked, pulling the cart so Jaemin is following him.

"Coke." Jaemin answers quick. He'll get used to Jeno somehow.

"That'll be hard to carry back to the dorm."

"I'll call Yangyang to give us a hand. But let's get you coffee first."

Jeno's eyes lit up at the word, nodding eagerly.

"Hot choco?" Jaemin places Jeno's cup on their table.

Jeno hummed, taking it with a smile on his lips. Muttering a "What?" when he noticed Jaemin staring.

"You actually smiled." Jaemin says nonchalant, sipping on his americano.

"Ain't I handsome." Jeno says, confident.

"Handsome?" Jaemin repeats. "Cute is the word."

Jeno groaned, resting his face on the table. It was unseemly and Jaemin pulled him up. "But hey, is it true you're dating Sehwi? Are you wooing her? Tell me when you two start going out so I can laugh at her."

It never fails to amuse Jaemin at the words that comes out of Jeno's mouth. Jeno claims he hates Yangyang and Renjun for being dissing arrogants, but he sort of acts the same. If Jeno isn't insulting or sarcastic, he's just talking strange.

"We aren't dating." Jaemin says.

"You sound bitter."

Jaemin wishes Jeno was just word-mongering and didn't see right through him. "How about you? Donghyuck told me you've had girlfriends before."

"So?" Jeno raised a brow.

"I'm sure you aren't dating Ningning so I'm curious----"

"Oh my god. Finally, thank god." Jeno says, drammatic. Taking Jaemin's hand and burrying his face on them. Finally, someone who isn't malicious. Finally, someone who understands.

"You're acting weird." Jaemin chuckled when Jeno let's go of him.

"Ningning told me not to date anyone unless I really like the person."

"What if she likes you?" He asked, curious. It's not impossible for any girl to fall in love with someone so handsome like Jeno, or someone for a guy to develop a feeling to someone stunningly beautiful and kind like Ningning. It's not like Jeno will open up to him or anything but he wants Jeno to know that he will listen.

"Impossible." Jeno fakes a gag.

"Why not?"

"I'm not her type."

"Is she your type?" Jaemin interrogates.

Jeno shook his head, making a funny face yet again that had Jaemin laughing.

"Stop ruining your face like that."

On a Sunday afternoon, Jeno was cramming and panicking over homeworks and projects he has yet to finish. They will be having a long quiz in Health subject and the deadline for his Arts nature sketch is due tomorrow. He can revise his notes to sleep but sketching is a huge problem for someone so incapable like Jeno. Sure he befriended the right person, Ningning, who's drawing skills are blessed and God's gift.

The girl's dorm located two streets away that Jeno had to run back and fourth. There was a policy that only female student's can enter the girl's dorm, and vice versa. Jeno forgotten about this, so when the guard blocked his way in, he had to run back to the male dorm and ask for consent to the admission.

Jeno was lucky Ningning wasn't sleeping by the time and he waited for her at the cafeteria on a seperate building, just beside the dorm.

"Oh Ningning, what would I do without you." Jeno says, admiring the art in front of him.

"You'd probably draw two clouds, a sun, and some birds that look like Koeun's eyebrows." Ningning says, laughing. And walks Jeno near the gate.

Jeno heartily situates the art paper inside his folder. Carefully closing it as he passed by the security guard still throwing draggers at him. When he was out of the foyer, he saw a familiar figure outside, standing and on his phone.

"Renjun!" He calls, sprinting towards him.

Renjun pulled his phone away and looks back, startled.

"What are you doing here?" Jeno asked. And by the look of Renjun's surprised reaction, Jeno guesses he was going to ask the same thing so he says, "I asked Ningning to sketch my project for me."

"Shouldn't you have asked me." Renjun says, and signals Jeno to leave together.

"You can draw?" He asked. Jeno is aware that Renjun is intellectually bright but the fact that he can draw is a new information. Or at least to him.

Renjun nods. "Obviously, you’re not paying attention to me."

"I haven't." Jeno says, sadly.

"Oh, I forgot you hate me and Yangyang and, well, Jaemin." Renjun chuckled, earning a glare from Jeno. “Hey, wanna hang out tonight?"

"Huh. You and me?"

"Nah. Donghyuck, Xiaojun and I. We're going to the flower park for air. It's quiet there, and relaxing."

Jeno doesn't usually come with his friend's hangouts but he might be needing some air tonight so he nods.

When they got back to the dorm, Jeno told Renjun he's going to change his clothes. When he entered their room, Jaemin on his desk looks at him.

"Where have you been?" He asked.

Jeno raised his brow at him. The last time he checked, he didn't have any obligation to tell Jaemin about his errands. But the younger kept on putting his nose into Jeno's business. He ignores the question, rummaging through his clothes and find a hoodie. He was about to take his shirt off, but he looks back to Jaemin staring at him.

"Don't look." He orders and Jaemin turned around. Allowing Jeno to change from his shirt to a brown hoodie.

"You just got back, are you leaving again?" Jaemin asked again, walking towards him.

Jeno nods, spraying his hair with hair spray. Jaemin, who's standing too close, steps back.

"Where are you going?"

"The hell do I have to tell you?" Jeno scoffs, facing him. Brushing his hair hair up with his hands, mindful that Jaemin is watching him upclose, staring, "What?"

Jaemin leans in a little, inhaling. "You smell nice."

Jeno rolled his eyes, weirded out at whatever point Jaemin is trying to make and ignored his comment. Besides, he's leaving any minute now. Jeno swore he's about to lose ground when Jaemin still followed him to the shoe racks.

"Why not wear the slip-on?"

It was a great question to explain himselft if it wasn't Jaemin who's asking. He didn't wanna wear slip-on so Jeno doesn't stumble on his feet, a conventional occurence when he does, just so Mark has nothing to back it up with when he claimed Jeno was sloppy.

"They're snuggy and comfortable."

"Can you like not." Jeno stood up straight, trying to be intimidating. But Jaemin and him are of the same height and eye contacts with him is something Jeno would trade for anything. He wonders if Jaemin is in a good mood, or if being talkative is a part of him that Jeno has been failing to notice since the beginning.

Jaemin makes a gesture to zip his mouth and puts his lips into a thin line. It was so philosophical that sets Jeno teeth on edge. He crouched down, kneeling on the floor.

Jeno was about to yell what he's doing when he noticed his left shoelace untied, and Jaemin ties it for him. Jaemin could've just say it and Jeno could do it himself, but Jaemin is looking up at him with his usual grin and Jeno forgotten what he was gonna say muttering a "Thanks." , instead. In an honest matter, Jeno could've break his nose on his first step if Jaemin didn't fixed it for him. This time, he didn't shut the door on Jaemin's face, but closed it carefully.

He makes his way to their floor's lobby room and saw Donghyuck and Xiaojun talking. He'd ask why they're the only ones going but he might only give Donghyuck some unfunny idea like inviting Mark or Yangyang.

"Yukhei hyung lends us his car." Donghyuck tells them.

"Renjun is still changing." Xiaojun tells Jeno who nods.

"I'm too sleepy, I don't think I can drive." Donghyuck says, yawning. "Let's have Jeno's boyfriend drive for us."

Jeno wants to complain that Jaemin isn't his boyfriend and that he doesn't want him to come with them but Donghyuck is giving the keys to Renjun who's approaching them, a quiet "Oh." slips off his mouth.

Donghyuck, who noticed this asked, "Why? Who were you thinking?"

"Jaemin?” Xiaojun guesses, laughing.

Jeno hissed, hitting the younger on the chest. Xiaojun never teased him before. It's unimaginable what Xiaojun can become spending so much with Yangyang and Renjun.

"Can he come over with us?" Donghyuck asked Renjun, laughing.

Jeno is going to back down on this trip if Renjun agreed, but he didn't and scolds the two to leave Jeno alone. It's one of those days when Jeno is glad that Renjun stands up for him instead of harassing him.

Their dinner order came just in time when they reached the park. It was a wide area, with mostly grass and benches and people come here for picnics. Most visitors are students that come here to study. They chose a place nearby the trees where they lay their blankets. It was cold and Jeno made the right decision to wear hoodie, unlike Xiaojun who's complaining how cold it was on his v-neck shirt.

After eating, they didn't talk much and Donghyuck announces he's going to sleep. Xiaojun left them and join the bunch of teenagers playing volleyball somewhere close. Jeno lies down with his book, too. Resting his head on Renjun's stomach.

"Hey, Renjun." He calls, but the other is too absorbed on his phone. "Is it true Xiaojun is dating with that cashier girl at store in front of our school? She's eight years older."

"Huh?"

"Pay attention to me when I'm talking to you." Jeno scolds, taking his phone.

Renjun probably didn't want to argue so instead of scratching his phone back, he clicks the lock button. "Are we really going to talk behind his back? And where did you get that from?"

Jeno juts his bottom lip. He could take yes or no for an answer. Yet, Renjun seemed so upset. As though Jeno isn't Xiaojun's friend and has no single right on his privacy.

"Poor Xiaojun is only being generous helping her close the store yet some people had to do him dirty by making things up." Renjun sighed loud.

Making Jeno looks up at him. Jeno tries to make out whether it's worry or sadness on his face. And he regrets even asking. He could've just gone back on revising his notes and lets himself frown on curiosity. Just as he was scanning through the pages, his phone started buzzing and there was a text.

>From: XXXX-102695

have u seen my tooth brush? :D

>From: XXXX-102695

study well. I miss u <3

>From: XXXX-102695

Jeno it wasn't me it was Yangyang

"I didn't know the two of you are in texting terms now." Renjun says, startling Jeno who's oblivious to him peeking on his phone. "You've always told me he's a dick but...Ain't he nice and sweet."

"He's nothing close to any of that." Jeno rolled his eyes. "Besides, it was probably Yangyang texting and not him."

"I was talking about Yangyang, he's nice and sweet." Renjun corrected.

"What." Jeno huffs, baffled. "You're like Donghyuck, when will you assholes let me live!" He rolls over, burying his face on Renjun's stomach and biting him.

"God, Jeno." Renjun yelps.

"The signboard did say PDA isn't allowed here."

Surprised, Jeno sat up only to find Yangyang and Jaemin arrived. The latter handing a plastic bag of what could be coke to Renjun.

"You used your motorbike to come here?" Renjun asked Yangyang.

"Yeah." Yangyang nods, and turned to Jeno. Handing him a small paper bag. "We met Ningning at the entrance. She told me to gave you that so you could study well. Chocolates, I guess."

"Is she alone?" Was Renjun's question.

It was the same question Jaemin asked Ningning when they met at the park. Assumably, they are worried of her too as much as Jeno is.

"She's with Koeun." Jaemin was the one who answered.

"We need more players!" Xiaojun was shouting from afar, waving his hands at them.

"Sure, let me step on their faces." Yangyang confidently says, running towards him.

"He's playing with gradeschoolers."

Renjun follows too. Leaving a sleeping Jeno, Jaemin and sleeping Donghyuck on their picnic blanket.

"Aren't you joining them? Why did you come here?" Jeno asked Jaemin who's sitting down.

"Yangyang pulled me here. I thought you were with Ningning."

Jeno shook his head. "Are you drunk?"

"Do I smell?"

"Not really. But your eyes, they're red. Are you okay?" Jeno asked, but he swore he isn't worried. Only inquisitive about what Renjun told him that Jaemin doesn't easily open up to anyone, not even to them.

Jaemin looks away to where their friends are playing. "I don't know how to play that."

"Look at those guys bothering them." Jeno points his lips at Ningning and Koeun. He stood up, pulling Jaemin with him. "Come on, let's pretend we're boyfriends."

"What?" Jaemin asked, baffled. Although letting Jeno pull him.

“Look.” Jeno points to the scene. “We’re gonna pretend we’re they’re boyfriends so the kids would leave them alone? Ever heard that from Kdramas? Never?” Jeno rolled his eyes.

“Oh I thought you meant... Wait, do we leave Donghyuck?" He asked. Poor guy sleeping alone in a funny position on a huge blanket.

Jaemin was certain they did reported the AC malfunctioning to the management last week. Jeno even e-mailed and phone called the administrators. The airconditioner in their room overheats ofYangyang. Today, it went off that had him awoken at 5 in the morning. He was covered in sweat and rushes straight to the bathroom to shower.

It's still too early to come to school so Jaemin tries to see what he can do. Cleaning the machine by wiping the dust off it's cooler in an attempt to fix it.

"Turn it back on Jaemin I swear!"

"Good morning to you too, Jeno." Jaemin tells him. Although hopeless at the current situation, Jaemin laughs at Jeno looking so ridiculous with his disheveled hair and a scowling sleepy face.

"I swear! Jaemin if you don't turn the AC back on I'm gonna---" Jeno sits up.

"What are you doing." Jaemin whispers when Jeno takes off his own shirt abruptly. It was hot in their room and understandable for anyone to be pissed to wake bathing in sweat because of the heat. But it's too early for Jeno to yell and their neighbor rooms might be awoken from their noise. Jaemin wouldn't want to be scolded this early.

He gets down from the desk chair he's stepping on and dashed through window, opening it for the air to go in. It might cool the room a bit, at least. But Jeno is non-stop with his groaning and complaining and Jaemin guesses he wouldn't until he's seeing him. So Jaemin went back to his bed to take his coat and backpack, brushing his hair quick and leave their room.

It's exactly six o'clock when Jaemin reach their school. He still have two hours to wait for his first class, wondering what there is to do. There are a few students around and Jaemin surmised they're class organizers or club participants. Even he and his football team have to train at 5 am on Tuesdays.

He heads to the cafeteria for breakfast first, thinking about making use of the library to sleep and revise his Health notes a bit. The quiz reminded him of Jeno that had him snickering a little upon what happened last night. Just in time when the crew hands him his tray of food and sends him a questioning look. Jaemin smiles bashfully and shook his head, feeling embarrassed and reminds himself to take a table far from the store.

Last night when Jeno pulled him to where Ningning and Koeun were being bothered by some kids, he was making a quick speech in his head how to shoo them away. Because he remembered correctly that Jeno did said they had to pretend they we're the girls' boyfriends. Yet when they approached, Jeno told the guys, "Why are you bothering these two girlfriends on a date?". Jaemin's jaw dropped along with the guys, yet it worked and departs from them. He imagined Ningning being pissed at Jeno's remark yet she was nonchalant with Koeun and thanked the two of them. Saying the guys that are probably on their last year of middle school have been harassing them for awhile.

Jaemin was about to take a seat when he noticed familiar figures on the far left of the cafeteria. It was Renjun and he makes his way to them, surprised that it was Sehwi standing up and bowing at him.

"Oh...hey." Jaemin stutters his greeting.

"Good morning. I'll go ahead." She smiled and Jaemin nods like an idiot. She looks tired.

Soccer training was tiresome enough. But the people in the theatro works their minds off for performance ideas, in additional to creating props, beffiting choreographies and powerful vocalizations. Being always present at any school events. There must always be a creative different concepts.

Jaemin watches her leave. It wasn't like any attraction he felt to anyone before, it was different, probably something more than that but he couldn't find the words to interpret it. He tried explaining it to Yangyang once but the younger accused it was simply lust and Jaemin quickly dismisses the topic. Everything about Sehwi draws him in. The butterflies in his stomach are frantic that he couldn't even utter a word when she's around. He stopped playing the pretend-not-to-be-too-obvious too because his eyes couldn't see anything else whenever she's in sight.

He was probably staring for too long and Renjun tapped the table.

Jaemin was pulled out of his trance and looks at Renjun, placing his tray on the table and takes a seat. "Did you two get the main roles again?" He asked, hoping his voice didn't sound weird.

He nods. "You're here for a training?"

"Not really." Jaemin answers, beggining to eat. The soup tastes better when it's hot. "The AC broke and Jeno's blaming me for it, I had to leave."

"He still treats you like shit." Renjun chaffed, trying not to laugh.

"Seems like everyone have taken a liking in doing so. It must be fun to treat me like crap, don't you think?"

Renjun hissed, leaning back. "Dude, if you're this dramatic you should've been an actor instead of a player, since we need a replacement."

Jaemin tries to shake off whatever it is that's bothering him and shook his head. Renjun won’t be telling him what Renjun doesn’t want to be telling him, of course. Renju will keep from him what Renjun wants to keep from him, of course. But Jaemin wasn’t stupid and it wasn’t difficult to read between the lines.

"Still considering of trading rooms with Jisung?"

"Not really." Jaemin says, sipping on his coffee. "Jeno had the attention span of a one year old. He often forgets that he's mad at me anyway."

"He does and says what he wants. He was a tough guy in grade school."

"He still is." Jaemin agrees. "Jeno is someone who'd punch anyone that pesters Ningning."

"Definitely."

"Yangyang told me Jeno was your type." Jaemin digs in. He doesn't really disregard the fact that anyone of his friends can be gay, because it didn't matter at long as they treat each other fairly. Though he doesn't really know what's a joke to what is not his friends tell him. So he simply notes what they say, without actually believing them. What has changed? He wants to add.

"Well yeah, why not." Was Renjun's answer.

“So you mean it?”

“Why do you ask?”

Jaemin only nods. Renjun could be lying, considering how excited he gets every time they hang out with pretty girls. He doesn't remember Renjun talking about being turned on by guys, unless Renjun only tells Yangyang and keeps it from him.

The afternoon classes ended with Jaemin spacing out through most of it. Jeno probably noticed he was distracted, pestering the whole day when he figures Jaemin is in no mood to talk. Perhaps he's trying to get on Jaemin's nervous, considering how much he claims Jaemin has gotYangyang on his.

"Do you think you did well on the quiz?" Jeno asked.

"I didn't study."

The two of them talking and walking side by side in the hallways after class is a very unfamiliar scene. But Jaemin isn't angry and laughing inwardly at how persistent Jeno is on attempting to annoy him.

"Are you going anywhere?" Jaemin asked calmly and he heard Jeno sighed, probably given up.

"Ningning orders me to buy her a book."

"Where?"

"At the plaza."

"Can I come with you?" Jaemin asked.

"Don't you have a practice at 4."

"Oh. How did you know?"

"I had it marked on my weekly schedule as quality time with myself without Jaemin around." Jeno tells him with a bright smile.

He's really hopeless, Jaemin thinks. "So let's go?"

The bookstore was bigger than Jeno describes it to be. They used the computer search log at the entrance but therethere exists hundred of books of almost the same title and Ningning didn't face them much information to be sure.

They've been roaming around for awhile, marking the list of the book shelves they already searched through. This time, it was a tall shelf that they had to use the stair. Jaemin insists he'd do it instead of Jeno to avoid any accidents and ask of him to hold the stairs for support instead.

"Is this the one?" Jaemin asked for the umpteenth time, showing another book to Jeno yet again.

"Jaemin, no! Color aqua blue not sky blue." Jeno glowers at him.

"Huh? Isn't that the same? How would I know." Jaemin scratches the back of his head, placing the book back.

"You're so boring. This is why Sehwi doesn't like you back." Jeno quips.

Jaemin's intellect was cautious at the mention of the name. It had nothing to do with the petulant spat they're having so he guesses Jeno only said it out of nowhere.

"You're right." He says bitterly, chuckling. This isn't the first time Jeno is mentioning this matter but Jaemin isn't ticked off at the intrusion. Maybe because it was Jeno. But that argument is pretty much as unreasonable. "Jeno, I found it."

Jeno gasped. "Really?"

Jaemin hummed, picking the book. "I think it's this one." He hands the book to Jeno who got a little too excited. "Jeno, I'm going to--'I'm going to fall. Hold the stairs, please!"

"Have you not fell already?" Was his witty remark, laughing.

Jaemin knows what it was Jeno is pertaining to and he laughed, relieved that The other is supporting the stairs again as he climbs down. "Are you hungry?" His question fell on deaf ears because Jeno is too occupied with his phone. Probably telling Ningning the good news. "I'm sure she's aware there are thousands of books titled 'Messages', she might just be fooling you around."

Jeno looks at him.

"Also don't do this when you're alone. You're so sloppy. To assist an injured roommate isn't something I look forward to." Jaemin chuckled, but Jeno was unmmoving and looking perplexed.

"That's fine. Ningning will take care of me." Jeno says, confident.

"Really? She'd help you change? She'd accompany you to the bathroom? Tell me." Jaemin queries, a playful smirk on his lips. He studied Jeno's face, brows knitted and lips pulled into a thin line, and he looks rather intolerably fascinating when he's puzzled. Jaemin regrets this initiation since he'd long admitted to himself how envy he's always been to Jeno's ridiculously handsome face.

"Why are you staring? You have the hots for me?" Jeno asked, pulling a disgusted face.

It took Jaemin's unawares, stiffly shaking his head. He mimics the way Jeno's face would contort and the other laughs at this. Jaemin thinks it's a majour coup to be able to laugh with Jeno so casually like this. Their friends should've saw this scene between the two of them instead of their horrible imagines.

He left Jeno inside the library in line to pay for the book. Jaemin waits outside, tapping on his foot. A weary sigh escapes his lips at the discrepancy of his surroundings. It's like when he was with Jeno, in between their unnecessary bickers and laughters, he forgotYangyang all his worries. Now that Jeno isn't around, Jaemin is....

"Jaemin! You left me!"

Jaemin looks at Jeno sprinting towards him. But he was too late to dodge and Jeno whacks his head with the book they've look through for two hours. "Hey what was that for!"

"Race to the station?" Jeno shouts, looking impatient.

Laughing, Jaemin stood up running ahead of him. "To the station!"

"Cheater!"


	2. Chapter 2

"You haven't spoken the entire lunch. Your saliva probably tastes weird now."

"I don't know. Wanna try it?"

"Yeah, give me a taste."

Jeno groaned at the last part. Dropping his spoon on his plate. It's always depressive to overhear any form of conversation from the three subjects of his enmity. It doesn't matter that they're playing around, but Yangyang is pulling Jaemin on the collar, centimeters away, and one wrong move their lips would really touch.

Mark snorts at Jeno's overt reaction and pats the younger’s head, telling him to focus on his food.

It's still a joke among them and Mark might have come to go along with it, too. Scolding Jeno more often than the ordinary knowing that the younger is terrified of him. Donghyuck would still mention what happened at the dinner table from two months ago. Even Jisung and Chenle makes "Mark" an excuse probably to put Jeno into silence.

What died down though, was their mockery regarding Jaemin and Jeno being roommates. The joke probably became boring because they're on talking terms now. Although Jeno is more strict to Jaemin and doesn't let him copy his homeworks unless he gets something in return. Jaemin's training schedules might have changed too, because often he's at home and helping Jeno with the chores.

"But isn't JaemYang boring now." Donghyuck said, scrunching his face.

"Let's talk about Jeno." Mark says keenly. Clasping his hands together below his chin and Jeno scowled at him.

"Right. I needed a scoop on that too." Jaemin says, leaning in. He's become too nosy nowadays. Whenever he's being interrogated by little questions, he dodge them by redirecting the topic to someone else.

Jeno knows exactly what they're talking about. It was last week when Shin Ryujin asked for his number. He isn't the easy type, but she's so hella and Jeno is just a man, oh well. Originally, it was for a group project and Jeno would be lying if he said she didn't have effects on him. But now, they're on texting terms and they've had lunch a few times. Last week, Jeno made it a custom to walk her home too.

"Just pray that I don't get friendzoned because she's basically a Ningning that prefers pink over blue." Jeno agonizes, burying his face on his palms.

"Ningning and you is error 404 not found, man. It's Ryujin Lee now. Don't be a dicky. Have balls." Yangyang tries to encourage but he's never good with words.

"Man, only Jeno gets the hot girls. I'm suing this school, honestly." Donghyuck grumbles about. Pulling his hair out for emphasis.

"You gotta give hotdogs a try." Renjun suggest.

"You gotta shut up." Donghyuck mimics his tone.

"Maybe if you were a little quiet, you will." Yukhei insinuates. Oblivious as to how much it would offend the other that's dramatically clutching his chest now while the others laugh at him. "It's because you're goodlooking and adorable but." He redeems his comment but fails again.

"Yangyang is talktative too. Does that mean he's never getting a girlfriend?" Donghyuck challenged.

"Hey, hey." Yangyang yells, taken aback. "That was unnecessary. I'm leaving." He stood up, taking the garlic bread on Renjun's plate and left.

"I don't want to be a part of the three idiots a.k.a forever single squad." Donghyuck fakes a gag.

"Who says we all are?" Jaemin pries, smirking wide.

Jeno leans in the table to look at him. He's just as intrigued as everyone is, to hear Jaemin say that. Is he dating, then? Is he dating his crush now? Jeno wants to know.

"Wow. So are you dating?" Mark questions. "Na! Come back here!"

"Oh, was it Sehwi?" Donghyuck's eyes grew big.

"Is Jaemin hiding something from us?" Yukhei wonders, looking at Jeno.

Jeno avoided his gaze. He knows nothing.

It was 9pm and Jeno prepares himself for bed. They've had a group dinner after classes. It's Friday night and they have all the weekends, departing as groups and Jeno also preferred to go home along with Jaemin. He looks at the latter sitting on the bed and too engrossed on his phone. Jaemin is still in his uniforms. Usually he showers after Jeno but it's been almost an hour when Jeno finished. He's been quiet the entire time too. Something Ten noticed at earlier's lunch at school.

Jeno makes his way to Jaemin's bed and peeks on his phone screen. It's the game where the main player plays the bait for the other snakes to be bitten and Jeno never quite understood it. "You didn't come with Renjun and Xiaojun to the arcade for that?"

"What's wrong? Did the AC broke again?"

"The admin told us they replaced it today. You weren't listening." Jeno snorts and noticed how Jaemin nods absent mindedly. He's been distracted for a long while and Jeno finds himself wanting to chime in every time he notice Jaemin in this state. Although he's certain he wouldn't get a word from someone so secretive and restrained. "Hey, Jaemin. I'm curious about something. Sure it's not you, so is Yangyang dating anyone? Or Do--"

Jaemin paused the game and looks up at him. Jeno leans back at the uncomfortable proximity. "Jeno... Yangyang was right. Make it work out with Ryujin."

"Because she's so pretty?" Jeno supposed, sitting on Jaemin's desk chair.

"No." Jaemin shook his head. "It's because you seem to like her a lot. It's nice."

Jeno nods reluctantly. He's never good with expressing his emotions. If it weren't for the girls who approached or confessed to him first, he doubt he would even date anyone. Ryujin was a straightforward and told Jeno she's interested in him without further adieu. Nevertheless, Jeno doubts things will go smoothly between them. There was one time when Jeno walks Ryujin home and introduced him to her sister but what he got was a scrutinized from head to toe and an "Again? Ryujin, Are you serious?"

Jeno drags his feet back to his bed and stares at the ceiling. It's just dawns at him now what Ryujin’s sister was supposed to mean. He really should've listened to Ningning's warning.

"Ryujin? Her family is rich. So rich that you might want to reconsider it." Ningning told him once.

"Jaemin, I'm going to sleep."

"Good night Jeno."

"It's the last season. I want to watch it in peace. I hope Renjun does't come around." Jeno says fast, slouching on the couch. He's at Xiaojun's apartment and waiting for the other to finish setting up the computer to the TV screen.

"He's on his room."

"What. This isn't his room?"

Xiaojun looks at him, amused. "He's roommates with Mark hyung. You didn't know?"

"Woah." Jeno laughs to himself. That can't be the case if Renjun is in Xiaojun's room 24/7 . "Well, I wish he has a practice or something so he doesn't come here."

"Renjun hyung quit at the theatro. He won't be practicing anytime soon." Xiaojun explains, searching for the remote control.

"What? He what? He quit?" Jeno queries. It's the only thing Renjun is interested in other than being a dick.

Xiaojun hummed, making his way to the kitchen to get food. "He forced Donghyuck to replace for him."

"Why would he do that?" Jeno shouts. He didn't want to sound incredulous, and Xiaojun isn't one to make things up. Yet, Renjun leaving the theatro bears an explanation. So he stood up, forgetting about the anime on the T.V screen and makes his way to the door. "Xiaojun, I'm going to talk to him."

Jeno didn't wait for a response. For him to quit the theater is most likely not anything big of a story since he'd known Renjun for being temperamental and often making decisions he regrets and cries to Xiaojun about afterwards. But little or not, Jeno insist to know.

He knocks to his room and waits when Mark answers. "Hold on a minute." And he literally stood there like a stone for two minutes wondering if it’s better if he just left.

The door swung open and Jeno asked, “Hyung, is Ren—-“

"He left just now." Mark answers promptly.

"Hyung, do you know where he went?" Jeno asked, biting his bottom lip when Mark shook his head. "You're like...his roommate."

"Do you even know where Jaemin is?" Mark shoots him a look.

"In our room crying over Legend Of The Blue Sea." Jeno says confidently.

"A drama?" Mark asked in horror.

He nods.

"God. This is why we never let him watch dramas. He gets so into it. He suck at feelings, Jeno!" Mark says dramatically, grasping both his shoulders. "He becomes a better actor than Renjun when he watch dramas. Never let him watch, I swear. Jeno, be that ideal roommate and turn the laptop off. Take him out."

He watches the older with bug-eyes. What of an unamusing request, he thought. Giving the other a quick smile before leaving. Mark may act upright but he's just as stupid as everyone else.

Everyone has the right to get emotional over something. Like TV shows, Jeno admits he'd tear up several times watching anime. Particularly from the last scene of Tokyo Ghoul when Hide died, or when Levi beat up Eren in front of Mikasa even if it's just for the show. So, Jaemin, getting in so deep over a drama isn't the problem. But he noticed him even more reserved and gloomy lately. Jeno doesn't think Jaemin is the one who gets depressed over a little crush, like his little infatuation over Sehwi that Yangyang and Donghyuck always mentions and poke fun of him about. Most likely, he's droopy and exhausted over football trainings that he gets carried off easily. Or he’s just really moody?

What welcomes Jeno when he enters their room was Jaemin coming out of the bathroom. His eyes look swollen and Jeno fights all his urge to greet back with a question if he's done crying over a mermaid. Most likely they've been staring at each other for seconds until Jaemin asked,

"You said you won't be back till evening?"

"Don't want me around?"

Jaemin looked so taken aback that Jeno dismissed his question with a laugh.

"Jaemin, can you come with me to the mall? I need to get something." Jeno asked, hesitant. Afterall, he listened to Mark suggestion when he saw Jaemin looking like that.

Jaemin nods quick.

The street traffic through the mall is the heaviest during the weekends. Jeno tries not to sleep to their whole ride in the bus because Jaemin didn't even say a word. Too occupied on looking out the window and Jeno didn't want to bother him. He'd probably bothered Jaemin enough already when he ask him for a companion today.

On their way to the store's department, Jeno felt so attracted by the window displays of stuffed toy claw machines in the arcades. He was about to ask Jaemin to try them but he's reminded how many times it had been that Jaemin declined to tag along when Yangyang Renjun asking him to the arcade. So it should be a lot easier for Jaemin refuse to him. Jeno takes it as Jaemin being bad with the games and got tired of them, which is likely unavoidable to slip out his mouth when Jaemin rejects him. But Jaemin doesn't seem like he's in any mood to argue at all.

They've been strolling the department store for about an hour and Jeno is vexed at how useless of an accompaniment Jaemin is. He needs someone's opinion of what gift to get but Jaemin only nods and says "cute" on anything Jeno shows him.

Jeno battles over getting the blue teddy bear that has a basketball shirt on and a cap or the yellow one with a heart on the chest. "The blue has pretty details but the color is too dark. The yellow is really cute too, but it's too plain and boring. What do you think, Jaemin?"

Jaemin nods absent-mindedly. "You seem nice. And Ryujin seems like a girlfriend who appreciates anything."

"Girlfriend?" Jeno scoffs. He was asking for Jaemin's judgment about the bear and not his judgment towards his and Ryujin’s relationship. "Ryujin isn't my girlfriend. I just like her. Also, I asked you here for coherent opinions and not for you to have a stiffneck for nodding."

"Oh." Jaemin made an 'o' face. "But aren't you supposed to know what she likes if you like her?"

Jeno knitted his brows and remembers his catch with Mark, so he asked, "Do you even know what Sehwi likes?"

Jaemin sneered at the question. "Sehwi doesn't like anything romantic. She hates movies and books about love stories. She hates the noise. She hates the rain. She hates chocolates."

"But Jaemin, those are things that she dislikes, not the things that she likes. And if there's anything that's not on the list of what she dislikes, don't mean she likes them." Jeno stand there, watching Jaemin inspects through the pile of stuffed animals. He didn't say anything but Jeno knows he's listening so he continues. "What's the point of knowing what she dislikes? So you know what to avoid? Because I'm sure it isn't anything like, so the both of you can hate things in common. Jaemin.... why is there a need for you to feel that you have to tiptoe with everyone around you?"

Jaemin looks at him. But he doesn't seem angry, rather diverted and Jeno didn't feel sorry about prying.

"I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not in your place, but, if you like her that much then talk to her. Tell her how you feel, if you must. Because if you don't, then you'll never know how many chances you'll be missing." He urges. Believing that her and Jaemin are only lacking communication that made things as complicated as they are now.

"It's not difficult. But it's not easy either. And there are chances I'd rather miss than lose what I have." Jaemin says. He walks over Jeno who's face contorted at the incomprehension, patting the top of his head. Jaemin grins wide when Jeno stepped back a little. "And sorry about that. I was thinking ahead of you and Ryujin being together. I got excited."

Jeno made a face that he sure was controlled than what he always does but Jaemin still laughed. "Aren't you romantic. Besides, I'm buying a gift for Ningning. She was sick and missed school for a week."

"Jeno." Jaemin calls and Jeno looked up at him. "Are you sure you aren't in love with Ningning like what you're telling everyone?"

"Yes." Jeno nods. "I thought we're over this. I'm getting this yellow one so we could go home. You seem tired."

"You all wanted this. You've all trained for this. Don't make me regret choosing any of you to be in the team."

"Yes sir!" They chorused.

He straightens his back when the coach stops in front of him. Jaemin and his teammates are lined in the field. The team's coach may not be approachable, but he's attentive and kind. It was infrequent for him to lecture his players so today is a distinct day. Today, Jaemin is just as nervous as everyone is. Because the rant was particularly aimed at him.

"I only take game concerns for discussions. So it's either you run in the field for a goal, or you run out the field to quit. See you tomorrow."

"Yes, sir!"

The tension eases only when their coach dismissed for the day. Everyone heaving out a sigh only when their coach left. Jaemin takes in a deep audible breath. His knees are still hurting because of how many times he tripped on the field in the game; limbs heavy and he finds it hard to even stand straight. Their team lost today. Jaemin came in late. Usually, he stays in the field the whole game. Whenever Jaemin is running the ball, it was difficult to steal. But today, he was on the bench on the second quarter because of his poor performance.

Jaemin stares blankly on the ground when Hendery pats his back, coaxing him. "It's okay, man. Let's do better next time."

"I'm sorry, man. I was a wack."

Hendery shakes his head. "It's not always that we win. Stop bNingningng yourself, Na. Let's work hard for the game next week."

Jaemin forced a smile but it turns out a sad one and watches him leave. Hendery is only saying that the lose was fine. But Jaemin knows his head is in the game more than anyone in the team. Jaemin envies his passion. How his love for football is guaranteed unlike Jaemin who isn't as happy as his teammates when in the field. His team mates trust Jaemin the most, passing him the ball at any turn. They could've won if Jaemin made a goal. But, he never did.

There was no one in when Jaemin gets back to their dorm room. He took a long shower, thinking. It was his fault that they lose and he felt ashamed. He didn't want to attend the game from the beginning. But if he was to ditch it, he wouldn't be able to explain why. It's not like emotional issues is a valid reason to miss a game and use it as an excuse to his coach. As much as he wants to set aside his feelings, he couldn't. Instead, it crushes him completely. That he could feel his chest hurting physically, his lungs tightening until he can't breathe Originally, he didn't have it this bad. But knowing too much is making him nuts. Jaemin just wishes all his uncertainties are wrong.

Jaemin is on the bed, drying his hair when Jeno burst in the door and slams it close, slumping on his own bed. It's 9 o'clock late and Jeno is still on his uniforms, just arrived home probably. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"She lied to me again." Jeno says, his voice cracked at the last part.

"What did she do this time?" Jaemin asked. The last time Jeno acted like this was last week, for the same reason. But he never really tell what happened.

Jeno looks at him blankly and Jaemin thought he'd finally tell what's going on. "Donghyuck told me you tripped. Is your leg okay?"

"Ah, yes." Jaemin nods. Attempting to hide the wound when Jeno walks towards him. "They gave me a first aid."

"Gross." Jeno scrunched his face at the sight. "Well I wouldn't wanna witness that. I'm just glad I didn't watch the game."

Jaemin playfully jerks his knee towards Jeno making him screech.

"But hey." Jeno started, situating himself to sit on Jaemin's bed. "What's wrong with you lately?"

On that question, Jaemin is back to feeling uneasy. It was inarguable, whatever is wrong with him. It was as difficult to explain as it is to bear. But Jeno is there, and he was so entertaining that Jaemin always forgets his worries whenever he's around.

"Are you broke? Or is it your heart? Did Sehwi turn you down? Tell me." Jeno demands.

Jaemin glance at him but looks away in an instant. Jeno's intent gaze was making him uncomfortable. Instead of a proper answer, Jaemin rest his head on Jeno shoulder. "Because you didn't watch my game. I was sad."

"Jaemin, get off." Jeno says calmly, shoving him away. "That's cringey. Never tell Sehwi that."

"Oh. Did I disturbed some---"

"No. Your face itself is disturbing." Jeno answers quick, standing up and transfers to his own bed.

Startled, Jaemin lifts his head up from Jeno's shoulder at the sound of the booming voice that enters the room. Donghyuck remained slacked jaw at the door frame, while Yangyang and Renjun force their way in and walk to Jaemin's bed. Yangyang sat on his desk chair while Renjun stood by the window.

"We came to check on you." Yangyang tells Jaemin seriously.

He laughed because Yangyang looks like he's about to cry when he leans in to see Jaemin's wound. "What can you do about it?"

"Does it hurt?" Renjun asked, sitting on his bed.

For a moment, Jaemin looks at him and nods. "It hurts. A lot."

"They gave you first aid but that could still be infected." Renjun tells them both.

"Jaemin, let's take you to the hospital." Yangyang agrees, placing a hand on Jaemin's uninjured leg. "They could give you proper medication to reduce the pain."

"Hey." Jaemin snickered at Ten's extreme worried expression. "It's nothing serious. It's just a wound. I've had them worse before."

"But you just said it hurts a lot! Or are you lying?!" Yangyang scowled, pinching him on the leg.

"Oh, stop stop!" Jaemin screeched, glancing around the room. Donghyuck is still by the doorframe, watching them and Jeno isn't around anymore ."I'm not lying. It really does hurts but it's something I could take. I'm not a liar. I don't lie to the people I care for."

"Dickhead!" Yangyang scoffed, hitting Jaemin on the chest.

Jaemin studied Yangyang ’s face. But there was nothing else to it than his habitual scolding every time Jaemin hurts himself on the game.He avoids to look at Renjun's direction who's probably staring.

"Where did Jeno go?" Renjun asked Donghyuck.

"He went to Xiaojun's room. Poor guy found his chance to be alone with Xiaojun and his anime. Go bother them, Renjun." Donghyuck says.

"Yeah go bother them. Intrude their quality time. Since you're good at it." Jaemin says in silence. But he didn’t dare look up and Renjun’s direction. "At pissing off Jeno." He adds.

"When did you become interested at pissing him off?" Yangyang cracks up.

Jaemin didn't look when Renjun moves forward, patting him on the shoulders twice. But he does when Renjun squeezed him, and he was greeted with a smile. "Get well soon." He says, and they all watch him leave the room to which Donghyuck followed.

"Man." Yangyang calls. "What were you and Jeno doing when we entered the room?"

"What?" Jaemin momentarily paused and asked in return.

"What were guys doing?" Yangyang repeats. "You seemed.. Sweet.... I don't know."

"Man, that's." Jaemin glowers at him, lost in words.

"Be thankful Renjun didn't saw that." Yangyang s  
shook his head.

"Saw what?"

"He'll be jealous and beat you up. That wouldn't be the only wound you'll be crying about." Yangyang tells him. "But we still gotta make him choose between Jeno or Xiaojun. Let's interrogate him later in front of everyone."

"What are you saying?" Jaemin sneered. "Don't be stupid. It's not like he really likes any of them."

Yangyang looks at him incredulous. "What do you mean what am I saying? I mean, he's told everyone that. Besides, he's pretty obvious with both of them so."

Jaemin was about to butter up the word "obvious" and Renjun in one sentence, but Jeno was bursting in the room with annoyed expression. Yangyang signals Jaemin to dismiss the topic by sending him a glance, and he nods. It's almost funny how Yangyang takes care of the two the of them; of Jaemin's wounds, and of Renjun's secrets.

"What happened to you?" Jaemin asked Jeno.

"Renjun happened." Jeno hisses. Rummaging through his closet.

"Did he bother you again? Donghyuck told him to bother you. " Jaemin says.

Yangyang sends him a look that says it was Jaemin's idea as well. Putting his lips into a thin line in a teasing manner and Jaemin reached out to flick at his forehead.

"Jaemin tried to stop him." Yangyang adds, controlling his laughter and Jaemin flicked him again. And Jeno was nodding as though he was assured Jaemin really did that when he's actually a starter.

Jaemin ends up snickering with Yangyang but sports a serious face when Jeno looks at them. A hoodie folded to his chest, and he asked, "Where are you going this late?"

"Coffee." Jeno answers.

"You're still on your uniforms."

Jeno hummed. "Should I get you something?"

"I'm fine." Jaemin says. "Are you going alone?"

"I don't know." Jeno answers, leaving them both.

"Sure she's going with Ryujin. Or Ningning." Yangyang laughed. "Ain't he smooth? Dating two girls. Can't believe Lee Jeno is a sneaky bastard."

"Hey don't call him that. He might cry."

"But dude, I was really worried. And I'm sure you're stupid and still going to attend the training tomorrow." Yangyang looms over. He may be rude and sarcastic but being overly worried towards his friends is one of his best quality. This is how he differs from Renjun. Who wouldn't even flinch unless someone is dying, he might shed a tear or two.

"Yeah, man." Jaemin goes along, making a pained expression even when Yangyang saw right through him in an instant. "It hurts so much but I think pizza will do."

"Fine fine. Change clothes. I'll wait outside." Yangyang stood up, groaning in defeat.

The wound didn't hurt as much as it looks, red and swollen. But if Yangyang wants to pamper him to the point where he offered himself as Jaemin's crutch, then there's no room for refusing. The younger basically carried him from the station to their table at the pizza parlor.

"If Renjun finds out we abandoned him, he'll kill us." Yangyang grumbled about and munches on the pizza. "We really should've asked him to come."

Yangyang is clingy. Not caring how much he irks both of them for the sake of getting attention. Yangyang is like the foundation of this friendship. He wants the three of them to always be together that Jaemin is confused if he also likes the idea alone, or if he likes it because it's Renjun’s  
.

"I just wanted some alone time with you."

"Lies. You want to eat everything all to yourself." Yangyang rolled his eyes. "It's fine though. That. He isn't around. I, sort of, want to ask you something. About Renjun."

Jaemin looks at him perplexed. He's been thinking about how to dive onto that matter since the car ride but for Yangyang to start it sounding so hesitant. Just as he was about to ask what's going on, Yangyang starts talking.

"Do you know why he quit the theatro?" Yangyang asked. "He never really told me until I overheard Mark hyung and Yukhei hyunh talking about it. I haven't asked him either."

Jaemin bits at his tongue to not repeat the question for an answer. It was a surprise. He was going to rant to Yangyang as why would he ask him when Renjun is more laid out to him than he'll ever be to Jaemin. But Yangyang looks just as confused as he is and he probably couldn't grasp either as to why Renjun would do that. Does it have to do with...

"Well, never mind. He's probably just tired. Remember last year when his nose bleeds while performing? He probably didn't want that to happen again. Besides, extra-curricular activities don't do much on academic grades. He's so tired nowadays, I don't know, maybe he needs some rest." Yangyang supposed, looking convince at his own reasoning.

Jaemin is unconvinced that it was it. He doesn't really know Renjun, but he's performing ever since he was little and just like soccer field and Jaemin, he's sure that Renjun and the stage are inseparable. Despite being his close friend for long years, he's another level more reserved than Jaemin is. Renjun and Jaemin could be friends for enjoying the same thing, but to one another, a shoulder isn't free for one to lean on. They never tell each other's troubles unless Yangyang is involved. It was like an unspoken rule between them.

Jaemin believed all along that he's the only stranger in their friendship. That Renjun's world is Yangyang’s too and the other way around. That was understandable since they've known each other longer before Jaemin arrived . But judging from Yangyang's uneasiness, it may not be the case and Jaemin must've just looked too much into it. Renjun might have been tight-lipped towards everybody.

Jaemin stopped his train of thoughts when he looked out the glass window and noticed a familiar figure from a distance. It only takes a squint to recognize that it was Jeno, with what could be Ryujin. Jaemin couldn't make out what they were doing but....

"Hello, Earth to Jaemin. My throat is hurting and you haven't even say a word. Are you even listening?" Yangyang quibbles, leaning in and blocking Jaemin's view with his face.

"Ye--Yes. Yes." Jaemin was pulled out of his trance and stuttered.

"Alright. Let's go." Yangyang announce, pocketing his phone.

"Huh--where are we going?" Jaemin asked. Glancing outside but Jeno is already out of sight.

"Home? You just said you want to go home, didn't you." Yangyang shook his head, standing up. "Obviously you needed a rest, man. Not a pizza."

"Y--Yeah. Let's go home."

Rather than going home, Yangyang takes him to a hospital clinic first and his wound was clean the second time. Not only that, Yangyang demands the doctor to sign Jaemin a medical certification so he could be excused from the training for a day or two. Jaemin lost his tongue to complain because Yangyang may be exaggerating but Jaemin is grateful that someone cares.

When Jaemin gets back to their apartment, Jeno who's was standing by the window got startled upon his entrance. Jaemin recalls what he saw and was about to ask Jeno what just happened.

"Jaemin, you went to the clinic alone?" Jeno asked, worried.

Jaemin guesses Jeno figured by the medicine bag he was holding. His answer died on his throat when he looks at Jeno and sees his eyes swollen. Jaemin can't be wrong about what he saw.

"You could've asked Yangyang or Renjun to accompany you."

"Jeno," Jaemin starts, making Jeno looks at him. The latter who understands that Jaemin saw right through him directs his eyes elsewhere. "Why would she push you away like that? Why, why would she hit you?"

"What did you saw?" Jeno asked in stern voice. Looking a mix of pained and angered. As though Jaemin had stepped onto his privacy and crushed it completely.

If anything, Jaemin wouldn't want to see it either. Jeno getting helplessly pushed isn't something he expects to see looking out a pizza store's glass window. Not when he'd seen enough of him going home everyday burdened by the same reason. To see Jeno getting hurt physically is another thing.

"Jeno, you shouldn't let her hurt you like that." Jaemin says, trying to reach out to hold his wrist but Jeno stepped back. As much as he doesn't want to intrude, it doesn't feel right for Jaemin to not do anything. Jeno doesn't deserve to be hurt. "Even if you like her so much. You shouldn't just get used to her treating you that way. Jeno, you deserve better."

"Who do you think you are telling me that? You know nothing!" Jeno let him away.

It puts Jaemin to silence when Jeno told him that. He should've thought it over and knew his place before trying to butt in. The anglesare all wrong, and Jeno was right, because to him, Jaemin is just a nobody.

Thus, Jaemin apologized and excuses himself. Taking another leave to the door. If there's any emotion Jaemin loathes other than jealousy, it's the feeling of being discarded

On the upper hand, whenever Jaemin feels unwanted, he runs to their younger friends. They are consistently bright and welcoming. Which reminds Jaemin of his parents back home, where the atmosphere is always warm and his mom is always there for him. The excessively warm welcome he got from his first step on the younger's room is almost funny. Jaemin was treated like a baby by the people that are actual babies. The youngest, Jisung, who also loves soccer, looked so dear commanding everyone how to treat an injured player. And Jaemin was coddled to sleep on Chenle’s bed who opts to sleep on the couch for Jaemin.

Candy Crush has never been this frustrating. For half an hour, Jaemin is stuck on the same level. It was 3 am when Jaemin wakes and comes back to their room. As much as he wants to get back to sleep due fatigue, in addition to the pain reliever tablet that's making him drowsy, but he couldn't just shut-eye to Jeno not being home at this hour. He felt guilty. Jeno was in hell, yet Jaemin had to made it worse thinking he could help with his careless mouth.

It's just Jaemin who supposes he could be a useful friend, anyway. Last night, Jeno made it clear that Jaemin has no right to pry onto his life. Even so, Jaemin is still dialing his number. Jeno isn't answering, or so might think that Jaemin is trying to meddle again. But it doesn't matter as long as he picks up so Jaemin can go back to sleep. But his hopes died when he lifts his head and saw Jeno's phone lying on his bed.

"Well, damn." Jaemin muttered to himself.

Jaemin decides it's time to do something so he stood up to change. Jeno could just be in Xiaojun's room. Or if he had to talk to Renjun to see if he knows Jeno's whereabouts, he'll do it.

"Xiaojun." Jaemin calls, and walks to follow him. Right when he got out of his room, Xiaojun is passing by the hallway.

"Yo. Why are you awake at this time? I'm going to jog." Xiaojun tells him.

"C--can I come with you?" Jaemin asked, and entered the elevator.

"Sure, yeah. But aren't you injured?"

Jaemin only tells Xiaojun his concern once they're outside the dorm building. Whatever Jeno never tells just anyone, Xiaojun probably knows.

"Xiaojun, do you know where Jeno is?" He asked.

"Oh, isn't he sleeping?"

Jaemin bit his tongue. So Jeno isn't on his dorm room. "Actually, I don't know where he went." He admits, and felt even more guilty by the strangled expression Xiaojun let's out.

"Did something happen? I don't have my phone with me." Xiaojun says, worried. "Can you call him?"

"He left his phone in the room." Jaemin answers, and Xiaojun is looking at him with expectant eyes to hear more. "Last night, he was prickly. And I sort of, said things to him, and he took it the wrong way. He got angry."

"Eh, you mean he run out last night? Oh my, where could he be?" Xiaojun frets.

"I thought you'd know." Jaemin supposes.

"Right, go back up and ask Renjun or Donghyuck. I'll jog to the girls dorm and ask the security, maybe he's with Ningning. Okay?"

Jaemin nods and watches Xiaojun jogs. It's still too early to bother anyone. He stood by the street light and leans on the fence. It's dark and there were no cars on the road. Where could Jeno possibly be at this time? It's freezing outside but Jaemin tries to ignore the cold that stings the wound on his knee. He hopes Xiaojun can find him on the girls dorm. Most likely, he'll run to Ningning on situations like this.

It's not like he wanted to see Ryujin pushing Jeno. Maybe it wasn’t anything serious or that the two or just playing around, no, maybe Jeno did something that made her do that. But the sad look on Jeno’s eyes when he arrived at the dorm tells him otherwise. That wasn't a sight to see. How can Jeno even tolerate that when Jaemin knows him as one of the people with the very least patience in the world. It's not that Jaemin wants to see him hit her back. But still, it was unreasonable to hurt someone.He just wishes Jeno hadn't done anything awful for him to deserve that. He's very restrained and clever, and isn't stupid like Jaemin anyway.

"Jaemin?"

Jaemin searched for the voice and saw Jeno about to enter the dorm building. "Jeno!" He calls, and dashed towards him with pained leg. "Wh--what happened to you?"

"Why are you outside at this hour? I thought you were sleeping with the kid--"

"Where did you go?" Jaemin cuts him. "I tried calling you but you left your phone."

Jeno hummed. "It's dead so I didn't bring it with me. I went to Ryujin. I couldn't sleep when something is wrong so."

Jaemin sighed, that sounded rather exhaustion than relief that had Jeno looking down the ground. "It's good that you made up with her. I just hope that kind of thing don't happen again."

"Huh?" Jeno grunts. "I didn't made up with her. I--- I ended things with her. You were right. I shouldn't let myself get hurt like that. I was wrong. I thought we had something between us, but it turns out I’m the only one who thinks that and I made her angry. Thank you. And I'm sorry for even shouting at y--"

"You what?" Jaemin asked, confused with what could be a very rash decision that Jeno made. "Jeno, what if what you feel in the morning, or the next day, isn't the same as you feel right now?"

Those still aren't the right words either. That Jaemin is worried Jeno might tell him off once again. But that doesn't seem like it, when Jeno looks so down-and-out, keeping still and avoiding his gaze.

"Then I'll just be hurt, and act like I wasn't. Like you always do."

Jaemin's lips curved into a smirk. That was the biggest ego strike he'd ever heard in awhile. Not matter what situation, Jeno is still clever and incredulous.

When they climb back to their dorms, Jaemin jumps up to his bed. "I forgot something." He says.

"What? That your wound is hurting and you have to act it out?" Jeno supposes.

"What are you saying?" Jaemin looks at him impossibly. "Xiaojun was going for a jog but I told him to look for you instead. I'd text him but he doesn't have his phone with him."

"Oh?" Jeno uttered. "That's unfortunate. In the morning I'd tell him you were lying and that I was sleeping soundly on my bed. He keeps on telling me you're nice. I can't wait for him to hate you."

"This time, I'm really going to hit you." Jaemin warns half-heartedly.

"No ,thanks. Not interested." Jeno quips.

"I said hit you! Not hit on you!"

And Jaemin fell asleep with how soothing Jeno's laugh sounded.

" _For_ how _long have you been lying to me?"_

_"It's not what you think. What do you know?"_

_"No. I didn't know. But I've been sensing it. It just felt so frustrating that I couldn't fend for myself being treated like a complete stupid."_

_"Don't say that. You matter to me that's why I felt so guilty. I wasn't happy."_

_"And now you're taking a pity on me? What, are you crazy? Or are you making fun of me again?"_

_"But, it's over now. I'm sorry for what happened."_

_"It's not about whether it's over or not. It's about you, who calls yourself my friend, fooling me and faking it all along."_

_"You have all the right to be angry. It was all my fault. I did wrong. Again, I'm sorry. Let's talk again another time when you give me another chance to explain."_

_"I have nothing to say to you anymore."_

Keeping the dorm clean became a downhill to have a helping hand. Jeno is thankful of his roommate's freewill to be of help since school is always a hassle in the middle of the semester. But now, he's back on doing things alone, and a Jaemin apologizing to the chores he always claims to "forgot" to do.

Amidst to this, Jeno figures Jaemin isn't just gloomy because he's been listening a lot to My Chemical Romance, but because he really is. He isn't as talkative either. When before, Jeno is annoyed by his bright gummy smile, now he'd miss seeing it.

It's saddening to see Jaemin pretending to be playful and laughing around everyone as well. It was obvious that he was faking it, by the way his eyes are dull, or how his lips turn into a thin line immediately after he smiles. He'd gotten quite some scolding from their teachers already for spacing out. Jeno had heard enough of Yangyang’s exasperation too for Jaemin ditching their night outs together with Renjun.

These are the little things Jeno starts to distinguish and he wonders why he even sees.

"Hey, you look like you can't do all that alone. You look tired. I'll give you a hand?"

Jeno continues on washing the chicken meat on the sink and gestures Jaemin to hand him the tray. How come Jeno will look tired after sleeping for ten hours straight? That's was a lie, Jeno knows Jaemin leaves the dining table because everyone was there. Everyone Jaemin wants to avoid.

"Can you cut them for me?" Jeno orders, pointing at the pile of vegetables on the table.

"Sure."

Jeno tries not to laugh watching Jaemin helplessly cut the tomatoes. He proceeds to the stove and boil the meat. "Renjun told me you were back on the court yesterday. I fell asleep last night I couldn't congratulate you. So, congrats player number 10."

"I thought you were going to watch yesterday. Ningning was there too." Jaemin says, focusing intently on the knife.

"Hey, is your jersey number 10 because you're in love with Yangyang?" He wonders. “I just found out he was born October 10th that makes it 10 and 10.”

Jaemin choked at the question. "I've been using that number before I even met him. And it's my lucky number. It had nothing to do with him."

"Oh come on!" Jeno glowers at him. "I've heard you love to watch yaoi themed animes. I'm sure you believe in gay love. Yangyang and you are probably destined."

Jaemin was unmoving and only staring at Jeno incredulously. "Let me remind you that I am holding a knife."

Jeno gestures to zip on his mouth and turned his back on him. He really needs to control his mouth when talking to Jaemin now that he's gotten so pissy. In grade school, he remembered getting punched a lot for being mouthy but that was fine, but getting stabbed with a knife probably isn't. He's lucky Xiaojun entered the kitchen and asked what he can help with and so, he could abandon his current assistant, Jaemin.

He concocts the flavors for the sauces and lets Xiaojun taste it and decide. In addition, he makes a vegetable salad like Jaemin requested. Jaemin stayed in the kitchen for awhile, eating anything edible he finds on the fridge. It's only when he left when Xiaojun talks.

"Someone's asking for his number."

"Who? Jaemin?"

Xiaojun hummed. "Yes, someone really pretty in my class has a crush on him."

"Someone has a crush on Jaemin?" Jeno sputters with a laugh. "Has she lost her head?"

"Oh, honestly I'd say the same thing if someone likes you." Xiaojun says, smiling sheepishly which intends he meant what he said.

Jeno ignores the harsh comment but squints his eyes at him although he agrees. Jaemin is someone so gentle and patient. Those are the best of his qualities Jeno began to distinguish now that he doesn't disregard Jaemin's presence. He wasn't apathetic, or what Jeno would like call it, an asshole. He figured Jaemin was quiet because prefers to listen. Unlike Jeno who's probably a total opposite, fretful and nuts, and doubts if there is even any good quality of himself.

Jeno doesn't think Jaemin is the type to base on appearance. So when Donghyuck pulled him out of his Algebra class one day to rant about how much of a dimwit Jaemin is wasting oppurtunities of getting hot girls being obsessed over someone who doesn't like him back, didn't surprised Jeno.

As far as he knows----heard from their friends, Jaemin likes her ever since his first year in their middle school. Sehwi is smart and has a superiority complex, the way Jeno describes her, so he doesn't really know what Jaemin sees in her. Even Ningning admits having her as a roommate was forbidding. So it must have been an illustration that everyone has a different perspective and preferences from others. Also, Jeno happened to stumble on her instagram once and all her posts are odd, really odd. It's not like Sehwi and Jaemin are friends either. Nor is she oblivious to Jaemin's affection to her. But judging from how the things remained the same between them all these years, it's an obvious outcome whether Jaemin makes advances or not. Jeno thinks that if that's the same footing all these time, Jaemin should've changed his mind about her by now.

"Dude, Yiyang is basically a beauty queen." Donghyuck says for the umpteenth time.

"She is. But, " Jeno says finally. He hasn't say anything when Donghyuck dragged him out to the lockers and only listening.

"But? She isn’t your type either?” Donghyuck supposes.

"That's not it." Jeno sends him a glare. "We don't know what he's going through. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Since when did you care about what he's going through?" Donghyuck questioned suddenly.

"I don't."

"God, Jeno. Chill." Donghyuck chaffed and had to step back at Jeno's chagrin. "I'm sure Jaemin has Yangyang. He ain't that much of a hermit."

Jeno snorts at how clueless Donghyuck is. Jaemin is clearly overusing the excuse of soccer training to avoid everyone including his nonessential rendezvous with any of them. So he doubts Jaemin is talking to anywho.

"But he really did messed up yesterday's game. I'm just glad he didn't get injured again." Donghyuck says and lets out a heavy sigh.

Yesterday, Jeno chose to go home instead of watching the game. He wouldn't want to see a stumbling Jaemin on the field. Although their friends might not notice, being Jaemin's roommate, Jeno thinks he quite could cath on that something was wrong with Jaemin. As much as he want to ask, he didn't want a hurl back of what he told Jaemin before to stop prying. He was concern but he wouldn't want to put his nose on what Jaemin doesn't want to tell him.

"If it's still about Sehwi, I hope he quits. That's just not healthy anymore. They really have to talk." Donghyuck adds.

"If it's a no, she should tell him. Not leave him hanging." Jeno insinuates.

"Jaemin never tried talking to her so why would Sehwi?" Donghyuck shook his head.

It was a tiring subject indeed. He always imagine putting himself on Jaemin's shoes that only leads him to mental aggravation. Jeno will never understand Jaemin. Perhaps, he will never know what he's going through unless he is Jaemin. So Jeno thinks he's lucky despite what happened with his past relationships. Because at the very least, he isn't hopelessly in love with someone impossible.

Moreover, being his roommate, it was exhausting to see Jaemin acting like the perfect company when it's apparent that he's wretched. Jeno doesn't know when did he start concerning over him to the point where he's mirroring his mood. Xiaojun always ask him what's wrong and tells him to get over it but Jeno swore he had long forgotten his mishap with Ryujin so it's probably just Jeno and his excessive thinking of what's wrong with Jaemin. He wants to yell at Yangyang and Renjun letting Jaemin alone like this. It shouldn't matter if he tells them off because if they care about Jaemin, they should act like the useful friends they're supposed to be.

"And what about you?" Donghyuck questions.

Jeno realizes he's been staring on the ground holding a frown the whole time. He looks up at him, sporting a poker face. But his voice fails him and cracks a little when he said, "What... do you mean, what about me?"

It's really stupid, the worry that lingers within him. When did he become a fussbudget towards a person he claims he dislikes? He notice how Donghyuck scans his face and shook his head saying, "Nothing." And hopes he didn't see right through him.

"Dude, I'm sorry. I thought it would be hilarious to send you as his roommate for the whole year."

Jeno is taken a back as to why Donghyuck is digging this topic suddenly after four months, and how serious his voice sounded. He counts to three and waits for Donghyuck to laugh, but he lets out an exasperated sigh instead. As though Jaemin and Jeno being roommates had to do with the serious conversation they're having awhile back.

Jeno wants to ask why he said that, but he's afraid of what he's answer might be. Donghyuck may seem obtuse and blithe, but he's sharp. He'd known Jeno for years longer than any of them. That he's able to catch on Jeno's troubles he couldn't even comprehend himself. Like an open book, Donghyuck can read him clearly and was never wrong even once. Jeno wishes Donghyuck isn't so sensitive when it comes to his own deed.

"I'm really wondering how you can forgive me. After that." Donghyuck adds. “I. I thought you’re only into....girls...... I mean...I don’t know how it’s going to end up...if you’re really.... with Jaemin..”

“Don’t say it, please.”

“Jeno, I’m sorry.”

But Jeno tried not to say anything over a matter he never wants to acknowledge. So he pats Donghyuck on the back and excuses himself to go back to his class.

"Jaemin, that's nasty."

Jaemin isn't really conscious of his surroundings but it changed always having Jeno around. Whether or not it's a good thing to be observed, which what he thinks he's receiving from him lately, it's profitable to be guided by someone so critical and beautiful like Jeno. Jaemin recalls how akward it felt being neglected by him. But now, Jeno is kind enough to wipe off blood stains that got to his bangs and laboratory gown with a tissue.

"Don't look if you hate it so much." Jaemin reminds him. It's a regular practice that they do a dissecting of frogs on every biology class. He volunteered to do it since he doubts Jeno would even lay a hand on the said organism. Although he'd never partnered or grouped with him on any class activities, today was different because upon hearing the task they'd be doing, Jeno sends him a blank look for a long time that turns into a pleading look. "How did you get this over with in the past years?" He asked, curious.

Jeno walks back to him after washing his hands on the small faucet in the counter. And again, he's wiping the working table clean. "Donghyuck hates it too. So I work with Renjun. He does everything on his own."

It's disappointing how all that exists requires a balance. There's no explanation as to how Jeno simply talking to him or being around makes him forget his adversity, yet, it comes back in just one mention of a name and hits him hard. It happens more often than it should. But it's not like he could ask for Jeno not to mention anyone he never wants to hear. Renjun.... That's absurd, he would think. Unless Jeno would hear the reason and understand. But nevertheless, he might still think it's absurd. Jaemin doesn't want to hope.

"There are exotic restaurants that serve them." Jaemin says as though it was a new information."I heard frogs taste better than chicken."

"Don't even ever wanna try." Jeno concludes. Judging by the amount of coaxing Jaemin has given him to touch the frog at least, he would be annoyed by time. But the frown on his face is plainly how disgusted he is by the way Jaemin is holding the frog's stomach and cutting it open.

"Poor frog. What a torture." Jaemin muses. Closing his eyes when he finishes.

"Jaemin, how dare you hurt such an innocent being."

"Mr. Frog, it seemed that Lee Jeno will miss you. Please visit him on his dream tonight." Jaemin stupidly says to a dead frog he just cut open.

"No way!" Jeno spits, and glowers at the frog instead of Jaemin. "Na Jaemin is your murderer."

Jaemin watches Jeno, amused. The main idea was to laugh, but Jeno looks so scared and grossed out that it's pitiable. Unaware that he'd had a finger digging inside the frog's stomach for a brief moment until Jeno points it out. He's just glad he's wearing a two layer plastic gloves because Jeno was decided he's never going to participate on this experiment so he lends his to Jaemin.

They fell into silence once Jaemin began to follow the gruesome steps instructed on the laboratory manual. Jeno didn't bother to help him understand the instructions either. Jaemin felt bad for Jeno who probably felt so put out and wants to distract him from his stupor, so he asked, "What were you and Yerim talking about? I saw you at the lobby."

Jeno's face contorts in pain when he glanced at what Jaemin was doing, taking the heart out of the frog. "Nonsense. She said Ryujin wants me to come over to her house."

"What for?"

"To talk?" Jeno says as though it was the most obvious answer ever.

Jaemin hummed. "So, are you going to?"

There was a pause before Jeno shook his head and said, "No." And Jaemin felt worried for him.

The experiment was already over but Jeno still look like all his blood has drained out of his body. When the bell rang for lunch time, he told Jaemin he wasn't hungry and will head to the library to study instead. But Jaemin isn't having any of that not when Jeno was complainig how his empty stomach hurts on their first class when they both skipped breakfast to get to school on time.

He grabs him by the arm with a little force, careful not to hurt him and drags him to the cafeteria. Jeno must be too wear out to squirm or even complain that it was easy for Jaemin to pull Jeno with him. When they got to their table, Jaemin greets everyone and give a brief explanation as to why Jeno looks wasted. Which they immediately understood. His hand still holding Jeno when he noticed Donghyuck staring, and he lets go, excusing himself to order.

When he gets back with snacks on hand instead of lunch, the sitting arrangement have changed. What used to be two seats available beside one another Jaemin guesses reserved for him and Jeno, the one is occupied with Yukhei and Jeno is now sitting beside Donghyuck. Jaemin tries not to mind and takes a seat, smiling back at Yukhei who greeted him.

"I know someone who loves Pringles too." Yangyang comments, opening the container before Jaemin does.

Jaemin is aware it's a tease directed to Jeno. That or to Ningning who isn't even there to hear it. But it can also be just Yangyang wanting to reveal someone who loves Pringles yet Jaemin is up to one too many conclusions.

"Shut up. You look like the round guy on the logo, not me." Donghyuck protested, causing everyone in the table to guffaw except for Jaemin. And Jeno who still look lost staring blankly on the almond jelly.

"God, so defensive." Yangyang hissed at Donghyuck, and he sends Jaemin a chummy smile.

Jaemin responded with a smile as friendly as possible. Yangyang seemed pissed off at him last night for having to ditch them once again that had the younger asking if he wants to end their friendship. The question caught him off-guard that he gapes at Yangyang like a goldfish that had the younger laughing instead. Yangyang didn't pressed him for an answer and Jaemin wouldn't know what to say either. They've been part of his daily life for five years, and it had to be difficult to embrace the change if Yangyang just decides he doesn't want Jaemin around anymore considering how disappointed he must be to how much he refused to their invites.

Jaemin figures Yangyang doesn't know the truth. He may be closer to Renjun than Jaemin is to any of them, but he's sure Yangyang wouldn't intend to make him feel uncomfortable. Jaemin didn't want to think it's just him having so much trust on Yangyanh But that's Yangyang. Yangyang isn't like Renjun at all.

Jaemin jolts in surprise when Mark tapped him on the thigh with heavy hands. If he's been spacing out, which is most likely, Mark is going to point it out and question him. But the older says, "You should've partnered with Jeno on the experiment. He's really never going to do that."

"I did. But he kept on watching." Jaemin explains and saw Jeno glance at them from a distance. Probably aware that he's being talked about.

"That was half of the grade in biology, I'm glad you didn't skip the class today. Unlike what you did last year." Renjun leans in the table and tells Jeno.

"Jaemin did everything." Jeno answers.

Yangyang starts the craze, cracking up. That Renjun followed suit that comments about how dreamy of a couple they are that had everyone in the table laughing. It was surprising how he initiates jokes that involves Jaemin, even if it wasn't directly at him, as though there's nothing between them. But Jaemin ignored this, and glanced at Jeno who has a funny expression on his face.

What surprised him another time is Donghyuck who looks rather pissed at the situation. Normally, he would be laughing and add up to the mockery. But he clears his throat and says, "Shut up. Jeno is feeling sick. That wasn't funny."

That might have sounded a little too serious than Donghyuck intends to, because even Yangyang who's a master of retort didn't say anything. Their table fell into an awkward silence. It's a constant custom to feel overprotective towards Jeno. As though he was the most special. It could be the synthesis of him being exquisite, sloppy, and extremely beautiful. That everyone who sees him will have the desire to keep him from any harm. And Jaemin is jealous of that in the case that he doesn't hate Jeno, he feels the same everyone does for him.

Renjun, though, pay Donghyuck no heed and left. When he came back, he hands Jeno a cup of chocolate coffee. But Jaemin doubts it's to console Donghyuck. Regardless of what went on between them, he'd known Renjun as someone unwary of what other's think or feel about him. Nor would he consider to please anybody, not even Yangyang.Jeno is an exception.

Renjun tossed a pack of gum to Yangyang, and then to Jaemin ever so casually. Jaemin has barely nod for a refusal but Jisung is already taking it to claim as his.

"Well, thanks." Jisung said, sarcastic.

"Wouldn't Chenle scold you and your ugly teeth for that?" Jaemin whispers.

"Just because you have teeth straighter than your orientation, doesn't give you the right to diss aesthetically handsome people like me. I'm art." Jisung quips. Lewdly chewing the him to emphasize his nonchalance. He’s laughing afterwards though.

Jaemin laughs because that sounds like something Jeno would say, or should say, rather. “Fine, fine. If you say so.”

"You're supposed to disagree, hyung." Jisung whines. "This is why you're so boring. You agree with everything."

Jisung have several attempts of giving Jaemin a chance to be a contradict. For the essence of fun arguments, he would say. But he always fails to remember that and the fun already died when Jisung has to remind him.

"You are so nice, I'm getting a headache."

He doesn't agree on that, though. But Jaemin simply concedes and accepts everything because he didn't want to cause a problem to anybody. Not a lot of people thinks the way he does, and so he was considered nice in this society.

"But you really are handsome, what can I do?"

"Oh, stop it hyung." Jisung became red on the face, hitting Jaemin on the shoulder continuously.

Jaemin responded by grabbing him on the hips. A literal order to stop him moving. Just then, he glanced at Jeno who's watching him. He felt conscious yet again because Jeno might yell at him about something like table manners or to stop manhandling their younger friends, so he opts to look away and focus at whatever is Yangyang saying instead.

"There's a new restaurant that opens tonight near the cafe." Yangyang announced. "Guess who's not coming with us."

Everyone in the table gave Jaemin a knowing glance and starts laughing. Yangyang, though, pretends he didn't just slander Jaemin and avoids his gaze.

"But still, Jaemin did the experiment for Jeno.Ain't that sweet?" Yangyang digs and Jaemin guesses Yangyang didn't care much about that subject, and rather said it to challenge Donghyuck. Jaemin doesn't understand what's the big deal about it anyway to save a roommate, a friend.

"Everyone else will do that for Jeno. Except you, probably. Cause you're just as gay." Donghyuck retorts.

Yangyang stared blankly at Donghyuck, and the latter got hit by Jeno on the head. Jaemin tried not to laugh at Jeno's insulted expression.

Jaemin is afraid of further questioning because as much as he wants to keep things to himself, he isn't sure how much he can hold his tongue. Especially if he's on a hot seat in front of everyone. So he ends up agreeing to coming out with Yangyang who's been pestering him for a week now, and Renjun on the new restaurant Yangyang always talk about.

The meal weren't expensive and quite appetizing and satisfying for high school students like them who prefers food with cheaper price. There were board games available for the customers free and Jaemin finds himself playing Snake and Ladder with his friends.

"Jaemin's turn." Renjun announced, as if Jaemin doesn't know it was his turn to roll the dice.

It's a ridiculous scene to watch if they have an audience to see this. Renjun and Jaemin pretending they are cordial to one another, and Yangyang being oblivious to everything. Jaemin would've come out really obvious, considering the amount he hesitates to reply whenever Renjun tries to talk to him or how he can't even look him in the eye. But Renjun is a masterful at faking it. Which shouldn't surprise Jaemin at all but he still is.

Yangyang grimaced when he rolled the dice another time and got a one dot. He groaned in defeat, flailing his arms in the air and tossed the dice back to its box instead. "I give up."

"You are the cutest loser that's ever existed." Renjun chimes and pinches Yangyang on the cheeks. Yangyang though, wasn't even fazed and frowned at him instead.

If things are still the way it were, Jaemin would be mocking them for this scene. But now, he unconsciously evaluate every bits of Renjun's actions over the top. Jaemin hates this mindset. He hates how his brain automatically generates unpleasant ideas over someone important to him. Because the last time he checked, he was only a tiny bit pathetic, not bitter.

"Hey, so let's talk about Xiaojun bragging to everyone about being in a relationship." Yangyang says cheekily, poking Jaemin's knees under the table. A habit when he wants to associate Jaemin on spoofing Renjun. It's always an awkward experience whenever because Jaemin doubts Renjun wants Jaemin to hear anything Yangyang is trying to make out of him.

"What did he tell you?" He asked Yangyang. Renjun looks so caught but laughed nonetheless.

"Renjun finally confessed. What do I do. I'm so gay for him. Blah blah." Yangyang says comically, mimicking Xiaojun.

What the f--- Jaemin bites back his question. Startled, he leans back on his chair and wonders if he heard them right. Squinting his eyes at Yangyang and waiting for him to blow up guffawing and reveal that it was a joke. Jaemin fell into a deeper confusion when Renjun looks rather flustered when Yangyang congratulated him.

"Hey, but what about Jeno?" Jaemin asked absent-mindedly that caught Renjun off guard. His eyes distended from what could be frustration. Jaemin has never seen him in such a riling estate since Renjun isn't one to pay attention with whatever goes on around him. The question wasn't intentional, or at least he thought, but it came out difficult that the two of them ends up gazing at each other for a long time.

"The hell was that?" Yangyang interrupts and shakes both his hands in front of their faces, he looks at Jaemin for a brief moment and says, "and you call me the unnecessary person who says unnecessary things?"

Jaemin directs his gaze at Yang. Lips turning into a sardonic curve as a reflex. He could just spill whatever it is Yangyang is oblivious about, and wonders how would he react to Renjun once he finds out. But that would mean he's practically begging for sympathy. And the last thing Jaemin wants to be is someone so pathetic.

"Yangyang can have him. Or Donghyuck." Was Renjun's delinquent answer.

This time, Jaemin refrained his mouth from whatever that is coming and opts to smile instead. He grins at Yangyang, to direct the conversation at him completely. If Jaemin would choose, he'd leave this place. But he doesn't want Yangyang to question him, swallowing the fact that Renjun is going to keep his mouth shut no matter what.

"Me? And Jeno?" Yangyang chokes. "Two good looking people? Wait, let me call him."

Jaemin doesn't want to hear whatever it is Renjun is going to say anymore and glad that Yangyang is blaring his voice is keeping his ears busy. It doesn't pull him out of his train of thoughts completely, but at the very least Yangyang was there to settle in between them.

Yangyang placed his phone on the table and puts it in a loud speaker with Jeno on the other line. "Hey, Jeno. You know that Renjun and Xiaojun are dating now, right? Which means you and Xiaojun are cancelled."

"So?" Jeno berates from the other line. It sounded too funny and Jaemin imagines the funny faces he could be making by now.

Yangyang leans back, placing a hand on his chest in a ridiculous manner. He inhales before saying, "So, let's date?"

The beeping sound indicates that Jeno ended the call and the three of them ends up laughing. Yangyang is dramatically climbing up his seat in fear as though Jeno is going to come out of his cellphone any time soon.

"Stop doing that. They'll send our table out." Renjun tells Yangyang.

As though an instinct, Jaemin's mood drops again upon the sound of his voice. Like a torture that riles him up regardless of how much he tries to act composed. Such vexation displayed on his face that had Yangyang asking, "Are you having diarrhea again?"

A keyword Jaemin should've thought earlier and used as an excuse to escape this get-together. That would've been a great alibi from the very beginning because Yangyang is already standing up, pulling Renjun with him and gathering his things.

What Jaemin didn't expect was Yangyang shoving him away from his motorbike and calling him gross. If he'd come here telling Yangyang that Renjun is a terrible driver and convinced to ride his motorbike instead, it doesn't seem like it's going to work anymore.

"Just hop on."

A pained groan escaped Jaemin's mouth sending Renjun an "Are you serious?" look when he's sure Yangyang wasn't looking. But anything to get over with tonight's complexity. Jaemin drags his feet to Renjun's motorbike, taking the helmet that's always been there for Jaemin to use.

"Hey, race to the dorm. Bye losers!" Yangyang singsongs and rev up his engine, driving away.

No words is exchanged between them once they're on the road. Jaemin keeps a cool distance leaning backwards, if before it was fun to cling onto Renjun just to annoy him. Jaemin definitely didn't want this to ever happen again, and is the main reason why he didn't want to join any get-together of the three of them. To call it awkward is an understatement. How is Yangyang who's driving by their side and heckling at them, is still so clueless.

Ignoring Yangyang, Renjun turns to a narrow lane. Jaemin holds the steel bar on his back for balance when Renjun speeds up the engine. Not that he can't drive, but Jaemin calls him a terrible driver because he drives faster than necessary. After their last conversation, Jaemin declines for a talk. Avoiding him in class, ignoring all his calls and messages. Even when Renjun said he wants to explain and even when there's a lot of things he wants to ask, Jaemin made it clear that he didn't want to discuss or hear anything anymore. It just sucks to be a human that constantly seeks for answers out of curiousity.

He knew beforehand Renjun wouldn't open up to Yangyang about what happened. Yet, he wouldn't opt to shut off Yangyang’s invite to gather the three of them together. Renjun was clever and would rather agree to it to get Jaemin where he wants to. When the driving slows down, Jaemin takes this as a cue to speak.

"So you decided you like dicks and just drop her?" He asked.

There was a pause and Jaemin wonders how much can Renjun can keep his cool if Jaemin continue being the asshole. There has to be a limit to Renjun being nice and composed. And there he was, too angry and damaged to be sensible.

"I wouldn't want Xiaojun to hear that." Renjun enunciates in a low voice. "Right now, he's the most important person in my life."

Jaemin wants to snort in disbelief. The trust was broken and he doubts Renjun is up to set forth of anything that isn't a lie. But as though reading his mind, Renjun continues to speak, “I know you don't to believe me anymore. But I want to be there for him as he is always there for me."

Jaemin wants to jump out of the motorbike and yell at Renjun how much he doesn't care of his another dramatic story. Quietly hoping that he isn't using Xiaojun to play with Jaemin's head once again.

"It's a pity that she didn't like you back."

Renjun unhesitatingly says and Jaemin wants to take it out on his fist right there and then. But Jaemin had to keep his manners and didn't want to go overboard.

"You seem like the person she'd want to be with. Someone interesting and kind. A total opposite of all I can be." Renjun adds. "I know that it's unfair to hide it from you, and again I want to apologize for what happened. I---"

"Stop."

"If I could turn back time, I'll avoid this to happen. I wouldn't lie to you. So I wouldn't hurt--"

"Just stop."

"Jaemin, I'm so sorry. If I have to kneel in front of you, I would ---"

"Just stop it. Stop. Shut up already." Jaemin hissed in spite. At times like this, Jaemin is glad Renjun is a good listener who does just what he told. And it was a muted drive back to the dorm.

Still tensed, he didn't come up to the dorm immediately and chose to grab coffee at the convenient store nearby. Although he doubts he'll take it out on anybody, he wants to find even bits of composure before facing his roommate. Jeno worries over the little things and there's no way he's going to sleep in peace if he finds Jaemin in this state. The last time he checked, he couldn't withstand Jeno and always end up complying to him.

Jaemin mustered up all his strength to look calm and collected once he entered their dorm room. His roommate, Jeno, standing by the huge mirror and looking like an idol on an airport fashionshow with his leather jacket and plain one shirt, black jeans with tied black and red plaid shirt on his hip, black converse shoe and a black snapback, didn't even bother a greeting. Jaemin is upset another time and wonders what kind of celestial being Jeno must be to look that exceptionally attractive that even guys----

"We're you drooling?"

Jaemin was pulled out of his trance, opening his mouth to say something to save him from embarrasment but nothing comes out. Trying to act cool to make up for it, Jaemin walks to Jeno's bed and sat on his bed. And again, staring.

Before Jaemin could even ask where he's going, Jeno says, "Remember what Yerim said the other day? I thought of...reconsidering it."

Jaemin scoffed, eyeing Jeno from head to toe. "Looking like that? After what she did to you? Well, aren't you horny?"

Jeno's jaw dropped at the forthright question, that Jaemin didn't even bat an eye for calling him that and his face fall into a grimace. "Can you, like, watch what you're saying you asshole!"

He didn't expect Jeno to be greatly affected by that. Jaemin suddenly felt guilty at the amount of bullshit coming out of his mouth for the night. Jeno doesn't have to be the receiving end of it either.

Jeno took his cap off along with his jacket and drops it on the floor. Untying the plaid shirt off his hip and hands it to a confuse Jaemin. Hurriedly taking his shirt off in annoyance and undoing his belt. "You really want to see me naked, don't you?"

Taken aback, Jaemin's eyes grew big. Only now that he noticed the actual situation, him unconsciously watching Jeno taking off his clothes in a very very close proximity. "T--take this as a reward for how many times you've peeked at me undressing." Jaemin daunts and hopes Jeno didn't hear the way his voice cracked.

From his stoic expression, Jeno's face became flustered. He picked the neatly folded clothes on his deck and holds it to cover his chest, looking at Jaemin.

Jaemin wants to yell at him for his overt offended reaction as though Jaemin is a pervert. But when Jeno run to the comfort room to probably changed back to his sleeping clothes, Jaemin feels like he accomplished something.

He didn't think he'd make Jeno upset with what he said. It was all over Jeno's face when he comes out on his sleeping clothes, dragging his towards his bed where Jaemin is still sitting.

"But hey, you should go talk to her if you want to." Jaemin coos, clinging on the older's arms as if intimate contact is normal between them.

"Jaemin, just shut up for the night. Please." Jeno beseeched in a low voice, gesturing Jaemin to leave the bed.

Thought he got used to it, but why does Jeno telling him off hurts now? Was it the way he said it sounded a little too honest? Jaemin bit his bottom lip, anxious over this little conflict. He doesn't want Jeno to hate him, or worse, to avoid him. To Jaemin, Jeno is a very important friend. It's as though there's something deeper other than the both of them being problematic and sensitive, even if Jeno is everything he wasn't. Although they may have not started as good friends from the beginning, as presumptuous as it sounds, Jaemin believes Jeno and him needs and understand each other.

"Don't be mad at me, please. I'll do anything."

It took Jaemin's unawares as to what slipped off his mouth when he's supposed to only say it in his head, meanwhile Jeno looks rather unamused.

"The last time you told me that you bought me food."

"Is....that an invite?" Jaemin asked inquisitive. Standing up when Jeno bumped his knees on his.

"Nah." Jeno snorts and jumps to his bed face first. He gestures his hands to shoo Jaemin away. "I just want to sleep."

Jaemin's heart sank. Why must it be so difficult to win Jeno's trust? He just wants to be a dependable friend that Jeno needs. Curling his lips into a thin line, Jaemin walks back to his own bed, muttering a "Good night, Jeno."

"Are you seriously not going to shower before bed?"

"I--m about to." Jaemin says defensive, that even sat up to ask him that.

"Really?" Jeno doubts, eyeing him from head to toe.

"What do you want?" Jaemin bites.

"You."

"W---what?"

"Hoo. Big summer blow out." Laughter errupts in the room coming from Jeno who seemed too convinced to even laugh at his own joke.

It made Jaemin flustered that Jeno is making fun of him at this time of night. While it's true Jeno is laugher, he is mostly sarcastic, yet this time, Jeno seemed happy. Unlike the previous days that Jaemin was sure he's struggling from his break-up.

Jaemin walks over Jeno. He shrug off the pillow that covers the other's face, pinning Jeno's hands on the bed. Jeno's exquisite eyes are staring back at him and Jaemin remembered this scene from before, except Jeno doesn't look this nervous. So immediately, he pulled away. Afraid that he was scaring the other.

"W---what was that for?"

"I was just checking if you were drunk." I didn't think you'd be that scared, Jaemin wants to add. He turns around, going back to his bed and regretting this kind of playful initiations. Jeno is sensitive and Jaemin should act towards him more carefully.

When he looks back, Jeno is already curled up on his bed and enveloped in his blanket when he expected him to be hysterical and pissed at what he did. And Jaemin wonders what went wrong.

"That's a lot."

"Jeno likes them." Jaemin says another time, putting the fifth jar of nutella on the cart.

Saturday's training was cancelled due to the heavy rainfall. To the players, it's a silent triumph for a weekend training to be called off because that means they have a day to rest instead of breaking bones inside the football field. The rain only stays in the morning leading the afternoon weather to be gloomy. Jaemin doesn't want to deal with his hyper neurons , he doesn't want to overthink any further that gives him a headache. His roommate Jeno, doesn't seem like he's in the mood to keep up with Jaemin either and it bores him. He's been curled up on his blanket since last night and Jaemin wonders if he's still breathing. Jaemin was worried that what he said to Jeno last night is the reason he's put out today.

It would've been a really nice day if everything went according to his plan. Hendery invited him to play basketball at the towns court where there would be a lot of player and Jaemin already imagined making funny bets with them. Also, maybe he could ask Chenle to take him to Winwin's apartment so he could see his Pokemon toy collections since he's been hooked just from Winwin describing it. It'll be more fascinating have his fingers laid on the actual toys other than salivating over the photos. That, if only Xiaojun wasn't exaggerating his cough that had Jaemin ends up doing the groceries with Donghyuck instead.

"Do you want him to get sick?" Donghyuck scoffs, putting the jar back to the shelf. He takes them back again, though, upon seeing how empty their cart is in 15 minutes of being in the store. "Honestly, why must they make us do this?"

Jaemin puts his lips into a thin line, nodding. Both him and Donghyuck knows nothing about the groceries, a common knowledge everyone should've grasped by now. Even when Jaemin came here with a little of confidence, using the what-to-buy lists Jeno texted him for basis, they can't come home having only a stationery, toothpaste, nutella, and hair wax on hand.

"And you told me you have the list with you...... Jeno’s list." Donghyuck sighed exasperatedly. "You're so smart, Jaemin."

"But you just dragged me here and I saw you talking with Xiaojun, you should've asked him for the list." Jaemin defended, placing a pack of gum on the cart and Donghyuck looks at him as though he'd given up already.

"Whatever. Just call Renjun and ask---"

"Nope. You're older than me you're supposed to settle this." Jaemin reasons although he knew it didn't make sense. He grinned at him wide, clinging on Donghyuck’s arms.

"By six months? Stop it. You're not cute." Donghyuck snorts, shrugging him off.

Jaemin chuckles, pulling off another cute face yet again. "Not as cute as Jeno?"

"Why do you keep mentioning him?" Donghyuck berates, pushing the cart and leaving Jaemin behind. "Just take everything you want. Let's have Renjun take care of the rest. I want to go home."

He bit his tongue for wanting to laugh Donghyuck's annoyed expression. "Why are you so pissy today?" He singsongs and dash away when the other makes a move to hit him. Jaemin concludes everyone today is just as gloomy as the weather so he shuts his mouth, taking everything necessary as they pass by the shelves.

Jaemin isn't totally clueless about shopping for groceries since he'd done it a few times with Jeno. There are bits he remember about what Jeno discuss about picking fruits and vegetables, although he wishes he'd listen more to what he said instead of simply admiring his face. For another half an hour, their cart was full and Jaemin doesn't have to worry about carrying the bags because Donghyuck is strong. Unlike Jeno who looks like he's going to stumble back just carrying a bag of watermelon.

"We're finished." Donghyuck states but sounded more of like a question.

"Hey, before we go home, can we pass by the coffee shop?"

"You know I hate coffee."

"I know. I know. You hate the smell of coffee." Jaemin finished for him. "But you can stay outside. I'll just order a cup for Jeno. He seemed really cold when I left. I would've just make one for him but I doubt he'd like it so."

"Huh, why? Why do you need to get him coffee when he's cold?" Donghyuck inquires and furrows his brows.

Jaemin halts on his step and turned around to face Donghyuck. Sending him a questioning look for an answer. Today, Donghyuck seemed really off. But Jaemin doesn't get intimated by this. That there's even an urge within that makes him want to pester them whenever his friends are in bad mood. Especially, Donghyuck, because it doesn't happen too often and he's usually loud and happy.

"Seriously, Jaemin just stop. There's no need for you to please everybody. Stop being nice to everyone." Donghyuck grunts at him when Jaemin tries to cling on his arm again.

As Jaemin expected, it's not him and Jeno who got tired of that joke. It's their friends who did. For two months unimaginable, they did nothing but to poke fun of him and Jeno being roommates, with Donghyuck being the starter. Now that the joke was over and the tables were turned, none of them even wants to swallow that Jaemin and Jeno became good friends.

"Are you guys close now? Are you dating behind our backs? Come on say, it. To my face. Do you like him? Tell me. " Donghyuck demands, hands reaching out to Jaemin's shoulder to still him.

There was a confused silence. Either Donghyuck is on a bad mood thinking crazy, or making fun of him yet again. This isn't the first time Donghyuck asked him the same question, wearing that serious face and a stern voice. It isn't until Donghyuck raised a brow at him that he realized he needs to answer that question.

"Jaemin, Jeno might think you like him if you keep being nice to him."

Donghyuck adds, to force the words out of Jaemin. But there's no explaining it, no clarification to it. And he senses Donghyuck's eyes on him, that's either curious or disappointed. He could laugh at this serious discussion Donghyuck is trying to get him in to, if it wasn't a replica of him asking the same question when Donghyuck asked if he likes Sehwi years ago. He remembered denying it, even accusing Donghyuck of being too nosy. But when Jaemin breaks, Donghyuck was the first to worry about him, to console him. And even if Donghyuck is irksome, he's sharp. He was there for Jaemin. As if he knows from the beginning that what he had for her was hopeless.

"Of course. I like him." Jaemin answers asserted. There was a tinge of panic at the way Donghyuck furrows his brows that he noticed, so he explains, "We are very good friends."

"Good friends?" Donghyuck repeats, hands reaching up to his forehead to express his dismay. "Jaemin, that's not what I'm talking about. See, you don't get it.”

But Jaemin does. He was able to comprehend what Donghyuck meant. Donghyuck probably anticipate a confession, but there's none. There's nothing to spill out when Jaemin feels this empty and hurt. Because Jaemin doesn't know how it feels to like someone else other than Sehwi. No matter how many times he was hurt and denied by her.

Jaemin looks up at Donghyuck's strangled expression. As though he won't be able to accept it if Jaemin lets out a confession. That would be offensive, if it wasn't too silly because Jaemin had nothing to admit at all. "You can have him all to yourself." Jaemin cracks, laughing immediately when Donghyuck's face contorts into a funny one.

Donghyuck hits him on the chest, twice. "That's what you get for hanging around too much with Yangyang."

Jaemin doesn't say anything, still laughing. That had Jaemin wondering if he can tell Donghyuck his worries, if he can tell what's breaking and tearing him apart. Donghyuck seemed like somebody who would side on him. Upon the thought, Jaemin heaves out a silent sigh that went unnoticed by Donghyuck. And he really was looking for sympathy? Jaemin is pathetic and doesnt trust anyone.

M

The bags under his eyes tells Jeno how much he'd mess up last night. He was up until 3 am reading and crying over a book. Unlike Jaemin, who insisted he was reading too, with an Algebra book in hand and Jeno wants to slap him with it for the sarcasm, even if they slept at the same time, Jaemin made it to school for training.

Jeno stretches in bed. It's past noon when he glances at the wall clock, 12:47 to be exact. The sweat that forms on his forehead and bareback woke him up. The warm fabric of the comforter is sticky on his chest. The new covers of his bed feels hot on the skin and Jeno doesn't remember sleeping with a blanket so Jaemin probably covered him. Last night, when he was sure Jaemin is asleep, he took his shirt off and went back to bed. As a habit, he reaches out to his phone under the pillow to check it. There were three messages and Jeno squints. Unlike what he expects, because there should only be one goodmorning message from Ningning of a picture of her puppy.

>From: Jaem?

<6:01 am>

oi

>From: Jaem?

<6:49am>

u probably didn’t wake lol ggwp for sleeping at 3am

>From: Jaem?

<7:12am>

cant make it to class jen?

A smile creep up its way on Jeno's lips reading the messages. He imagines how Jaemin would sound and look like saying those words if they are facing each other. He doesn't know when did Jaemin's presence became too familiar, that it feels so empty not having him around. But Jeno wants to prove Donghyuck wrong, so his heart shouldn't beat into a rapid motion whenever Jaemin would smile at him. However, he finds himself dialing Jaemin's number. Nervous as he waits for the other to pick up. Jeno tells himself over and over again that he doesn’t feel anything about Jaemin.

"What do you want?" Jeno says, trying to sound as stern as possible. But it's a fail when he heard Jaemin chuckled from the other line at his sleepy voice, the vibration of his laugh sending shivers straight to Jeno's whole being.

"Nothing." Jaemin says and ends the call.

Jeno deemed offended. Nothing what he anticipates Jaemin would respond. Groaning, Jeno jolts his whole body in annoyance and threw his phone on his feet. What of a grave mistake it is to even expect. He's not even 5 minutes awake and he's already this pissed and decides to go back to sleep.

When he wakes up another time, it's a quarter to five. Jaemin is coming home any minute now and he's still angry so Jeno decides to leave. It was like fate when by the time Jeno reaches the girl's dorm to bother her, she was coming out entrance.He squints at his bestfriend, wary at the shorts she was wearing. He didn't bother a greeting, tossing his jacket to Ningning who catches it in surprise.

"Cover your legs." He commands.

"Oh...okay." Ningning complied, looking like a kicked kitten at the scolding.

"You don't look good on that, mind you." Jeno berates. He doesn't hold back whenever it's about Ningning and this matter.

"Koeun gave me this. I have to wear it." Ningning reasons. Shoulders dropping when she figured when it wasn't a valid reason for Jeno to accept.

"Where is she? Let me talk to her."

"Jeno." She whines, looking up at him. She clings on his arm, letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine, then. Take me to the cafe where she is."

Jeno rolled his eyes and insist to take a taxi when they were about to pass by a group of guys by the road.

"Stop acting like my boyfriend. I have a girlfriend." Ningning says once they're seated at the backseat, the last part in a low voice.

Jeno wonders if he should feign surprise, but opts not to when he glanced on her direction and sees the mortified look on her face. As though such confession is something Jeno wouldn't acknowledge or understand. So he says, "Ningning, I'm your bestfriend. I already saw it before you said it. There's nothing for you to feel ashamed about."

Ningning looks at him, mouthing a thank you before she starts crying. For a reason Jeno understands why. Her family looks up to her, have high expectations about her, wants her to graduate and have a stable job, and wants her to marry a man that is successful like her father who is a doctor. But Ningning always tell her that she can't do all of that, that she wasn't strong enough. This isn't the first time she teared up for the same exact reason. And Jeno promises he'll always be there for her if she needs him.

Once they are seated inside the cafe, Jeno didn't expect Sehwi to be there on the table and on her laptop who didn't even mind to greet them. Though, his attention was diverted to Ningning who casually takes Koeun hands and pecks her on the cheek. This shouldn't surprise Jeno. If he had to think back on gradeschool when Ningning would run to him, shaking Jeno's shoulders and telling him about the pretty girls in class before Jeno could even notice. Or how many times Ningning whined on him about the guys that's trying to woo her. She was clingy to his girl friends, holding their hands and kissing on the cheeks was Ningning's habitual candor. Jeno tried to shake his prediction off his head, but laughs it off whenever his parents would ask how is his relationship with Ningning going. When on that very day in middle school, she sputtered a dramatic speech to Jeno on how beautiful Koeun is and swore she'd do anything to talk to her; add her on facebook, befriend her friends, and smile at her in the hallways. All of that worked, Jeno supposed. At first, he thinks those were mere admirations, that turned into an uncontrollable fond.

He glanced back at Sehwi who sighs loud. Eyes trained on her screen and nonchalant about everything and Jeno wonders if she's even aware that he's there. Caught staring, Jeno sends her an awkward smile to which Sehwi returns to a rather stiff nod.

Somehow, Jeno could quite infer Jaemin's infatuation towards Sehwi. Unlike other pretty faces, there's more to her aura than just being beautiful. The expressions on her eyes are inscrutable, and her presence gives off a mysterious vibe. Like a deep dark sea Jaemin couldn't even set foot on, for he might drown. Jaemin is simply intrigued, and fascinated, maybe.

"Jeno, should I order you something?"

Pulled out of his trance, Jeno looks at Koeun who asked him and wonders how long had she been waiting for his response. "I'm okay. I'm full."

"Did Ningning dragged you here? I apologized on her behalf."

Jeno opens his mouth to tell Koeun that he got dragged here indeed, although he really was bored and had nothing to do. Besides, he came to the dorm to ask Ningning out anywhere and almost missed her.

"Say no more." Ningning snarled, covering Jeno's face with her palms.

"You're really impossible." Koeun says, laughing. And if he was able to talk, he'd say the same thing.

"Because you're too busy. I have no one to play with." Ningning says, jutting her bottom lip.

"I told you, I'm busy." Koeun says, eyes trained on her laptop although it's obvious her attention is completely directed at her.

"When will that project of yours finish, then?" Ningning asked.

"If you stop bothering me."

Ningning showed her hurt expression on Jeno, making him laugh and whispers "Sehwi is smarter she can do it without Koeun's help."

"Really impossible." Jeno repeats with a chuckle.

"Sehwi-ah, you're dressed up really pretty. You look like you're going on a date." Ningning comments with a teasing smile.

"A blind date?" Koeun adds, chuckling.

“Exactly.” Sehwi says with a toothy smile that fades in an instant.

And Jeno sits there, thinking how obnoxious that sounded. It was off base, and sounded so wrong for her to ignore Jaemin's feelings for years yet give someone who she hasn't even meet a chance. It's not like it was true and Jeno doubts it too, but still... for her to ignore Jaemin all this time irks Jeno. But he knows there’s nothing he can do about it. You can’t feel what you don’t feel.

"Come on, Jeno. Let's leave before she beat us up."

Again, Ningning drags him outside. Jeno have no strength to complain even when his head hurts and Ningning is forcing him to eat that popsicle stick. Not when she looks this happy, and relieved after telling Jeno her deepest fear. Jeno is glad Ningning found someone, to free her from constraining herself and to accept her. That was ideal, and Jeno have nothing to say anymore.

"Sehwi is really scary." Jeno comments, unmindful.

"Why, are you interested?" Ningning squints at him.

"No." Was Jeno's straight answer. It might have come out mean that had Ningning laughing.

"By the way, Jaemin said you didn't come to school today. What happened to you?"

While it's true that it's seeming like a silent rule, that whenever someone mentions Sehwi on a conversation, the next person to bring out is Jaemin. It's a futile cannon, even when everyone knows the two of them doesn't bear a connection towards each other. Sehwi doesn't like Jaemin, and that's everything about them.

"I overslept."

"Something bothering you?"

Jeno wouldn't admit, so he shakes off the question. He isn't strong like Ningning. He wouldn't be able to entertain grave conceptions of what goes on in his head. Some things are better left unsaid. Jeno can pretend that it doesn't matter at all. This way, Jeno can keep himself from getting hurt. If it's the way to fend for his heart as his head denies the truth.

"I'm just happy for you."

"Are you?" The smile painted on Ningning's lips shows her gratitude. Although she isn't good with words, and so is Jeno.

Something inside him feels heavy and he didn't want to affect Ningning's mood so he sent her home. It's not that he doesn't trust her, or anyone in general. But he'd rather felt secured and far away from anyone's judgment, than be exposed and feel sorry about.

He admits that he's a coward, by how careful he passed through Donghyuck's room with it's door half opened. He could hear Donghyuck's loud voice as he walks by, probably scolding Yangyang. And Jeno strides quick to his own room.

"What are you doing, skipping class and going on a date?" Jaemin welcomes him with a flick on the forehead. He opened the door just in time when Jeno unlocked the knob. Only peeking his head out and not letting Jeno in.

Jeno grimaced, scratching his forehead and was about to ask how did he know where he went when Jaemin sees through him and says,

"I saw you walking with Ningning at the park."

"Oh. We just went for ice cream. Actually, we were with Koeun and Sehwi. They stayed at the cafe." Jeno says, and intentionally he mentions her. To see what kind of effects it had on Jaemin. As though the her name alone can impare him, Jaemin's gaze was lost for a second and Jeno sworn he wasn't okay. Still, he was quick to look back at Jeno with a neutral expression as though everything was fine.

Jaemin used the back of his palm and lands it solidly to Jeno's forehead who yelps in surprise. "You're hot." He says. "I mean, you have a fever."

"D--do I?" Jeno was fazed when he uses his own hand to feel the temperature on his forehead. His hands felt cold, so he had no idea how bad it is until Jaemin said it. He thought he's only having his headache from last night, not a fever.

"Come in."

The air on Jeno's lungs feels hot. He needed a peaceful rest. Not when Jaemin is grasping him on the shoulder and guides him to his bed. The proximity rather sets Jeno's chest into panic. It's difficult to breathe when Jaemin is this close.

"Go to sleep, Jeno."

Letting out a scoff, Jeno falls on his back on the bed. "Aren't you suppose to make me a porridge or something?"

"Should I?" Jaemin sounds inclined that Jeno smiled to himself before nodding like a maniac. "Can't make them. Should I ask Xiaojun?"

Jeno huffed in annoyance and wishes Jaemin saw the way he rolled his eyes at the false hope. Not like some time ago, Jeno finds it fake and annoying when Jaemin does him a favor, and now he's asking for it. Jeno admits he's a fusspot and is hurt by this what could be a little rejection. "Hey, where are you going!?" Jeno yells. He would assume Jaemin is about to make him a porridge like he requested, but Jaemin was holding a snapback and most likely leaving the dorm.

"Why? You're so clingy nowadays." Jaemin laughed and stopped by the door.

Jeno hides under his pillow. Wary that the color of his face had change and that Jaemin might see through him. "Nothing." He mutters, sounding defensive. The butterflies in his stomach went berserk and Jeno wonders if he felt so sick or it's because of the sound of the vibration of Jaemin's soft laughter. "Don't need you. Get out."

Surprisingly, Jaemin's strides were too quick that it startled Jeno when a heavy weight fell on the side of his bed. Jaemin's warm hands fiddling gently on Jeno's knees.

Jeno is glad Jaemin doesn't see him under the pillow. Because if he does, he wouldn't understand, he would be disgusted, he would leave Jeno alone. He jerked his left foot to shove his hand away, the touch of Jaemin's finger still hot on his knee.

"Such a snob." Jaemin chuckles, grasping Jeno on his leg just above his knee.That tickles, and Jeno jolts up. Glowering at him. To which Jaemin laughs at, leaning backwards and saying, "You're so red."

Jeno freezes at the comment, looking down. Jaemin's hand is still on his leg, but not pressing this time. How is he not going to turn red when all the blood in his body climbs up to his head.

"I didn't know you were that ticklish. What a cutie." Jaemin notes, smiling wide as though the new information is useful. His hand reaches up to Jeno's face, then to his neck and hands and Jeno swore at the moment he'd tear up. "But you're really sick. Do you feel cold? I was going out to buy you porridge at the mart, but I don't think you want to be left alone."

"Stay, then." It was a blunt request and Jeno is convinced he'd reached another level of crazy when he leans in and rest his head on Jaemin's shoulder. He doesn't need a stupid porridge.

This is insane. Somehow he wishes Jaemin would push him back, and tell him to get lost, or that it's gross. However, his strong arms makes their way around Jeno's body. Not to warm him up, but to make him insane yet again. And Jaemin let's out a relieving sigh and Jeno knew what it meant. That Jaemin is contented to be of help to anyone. To which by means, he'd do this for anyone and not only for Jeno. And that, he wasn't special at all.

Jeno swore he didn't intend to take advantage on that, so he pulled away and lie back to his bed. Which should be the cause of his warmth and comfort, not Jaemin's arms. It shouldn't mean everything to Jeno, if it meant nothing to Jaemin.

Staring at nothing, he could feel Jaemin's gaze on him. A worried look that he'd send to everyone who's sick and red caused by the fever, not by emotions. So when Jaemin coos and asked him another if he wants to eat a porridge, he nods. Anything to seize the erratic sentiments that's tearing his head apart. To retain the distance there must be between them.

Fate must be playing games. If he was successful in avoiding Donghyuck throughout the week, pretending he's asleep whenever Donghyuck visits him in his room, saying he's on a hurry whenever they meet at the school hallways. Jeno is glad Koeun is still busy with her project that he can ask Ningning to eat lunch with her instead of eating lunch with the guys. But Xiaojun had to be sick again, and ask him to join Donghyuck to the groceries instead. But it was Xiaojun so how could he say no?

"This tissue brand is----"

"Jeno." Donghyuck interrupts again, voice sounding too stern and serious this time Jeno had been ignoring what he's saying, preceding to the shopping and giving him nonsensical brief description about the products. But Donghyuck isn't having any of that anymore. "I've always thought you're smart but obviously you're not using your head."

"What." Jeno feigns confuse. Donghyuck wouldn't let him slip this time, he knows.

"Tell me what is it you're doing."

Jeno could say the groceries, but Donghyuck isn't smiling and it's obvious that he's not having of that. Lately, it was uncontrollable and Jeno isn't acting according to his plan; to avoid and ignore his feelings. "What am I going to do. It's your fault. You made him my roommate and now I'm ---"

"You're in love with him?" Donghyuck interrupts, scoffing. "Jeno, that's fucking absurd. You're absurd."

"I know.....I know." He agrees. Eyes wandering around the store and avoiding Donghyuck's gaze. He regrets being too obvious, and Donghyuck shouldn't have seen through him. And this is the last topic Jeno wants to talk about. He could just swallow away his feelings anyway.

"Jeno, what the actual." Donghyuck mouths impossibly. "He's in love with Sehwi."

"Well, you don't have to shove that to my face." Jeno mutters. But she doesn't like him, he wants to add. But he expects Donghyuck is in no hesitation to crash Jeno's ego. He's going to be straightforward as ever that if Jeno tells him that, he'd call Jeno presumptuous for even thinking he's a next to Jaemin's option.

"Does it hurt?" Donghyuck supposes. "Jeno, Na Jaemin is nice to everyone." Donghyuck says again, emphasizing the last part. "But he's a wack. Remember that girl he dated when he couldn't ask Sehwi out? Well, Jaemin dropped her in front of everyone's eyes when Sehwi smiled at him at the hallways. She even transferred school because of embarrassment. Did you forget?"

"No." Jeno uttered. He didn't forget, of course. But he wouldn't remember it either if Donghyuck didn't remind him now. He sees Jaemin as a guy with integrity, he was sweet and gentle. He was versatile, that even when Jeno sets rules inside their dorm room that doesn't suit his character, he's able to bear and help. More importantly, he listens, and therefore, he cares. And his smile is to die for.

"Then what the fuck is wrong with you? Of all people, you're in love with him?" Donghyuck scoffs. Shaking Jeno on the shoulders as though it would wake him up from this stupor.

"You don't have to worry. I won't do anything about it." Jeno reassures. A promise Donghyuck wouldn't believe, not even Jeno himself. He knew it was trouble from the first time he felt flustered when Jaemin smiled at him. Or that time when his heart skipped a beat when Jaemin placed a hand on the top of his head. Or how his limbs weaken just every time Jaemin is near. It's irritating how he became dependent. How his laughter and smiles reduce to half whenever Jaemin isn't around. It's difficult to sleep, having a train of thoughts of a mix of excitements and disappointments. It's irrational, and possessive, that Jeno hates it when Jaemin isn't talking to him or smiling for him. Jaemin feels like a safe place, yet will set him on fire if he takes the wrong step.

"Is it so bad?" Donghyuck ask him, voice dropping on low octaves. He's rather scared than worried. "Jeno, he doesn't even like boys."

"I know that. And like I said, it's not like I'm doing anything about it." Jeno enunciates. Donghyuck probably thought this over more than he does.

"Jeno, I saw you." He says, and Jeno swallows the lump on his throat at the accusation. Maybe Jeno appreciates Jaemin so much that it's inevitable for anyone not to notice. " So what makes you think he would like you? Are you stupid?"

"I don't care. He doesn’t have to." Jeno declares. He'd heard enough for the day. Donghyuck is worried about him, but it also sounds like the same message of him saying that Jeno isn't enough for Jaemin. He turned around so Donghyuck wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. He hates being downright pathetic for anyone to see.

"Why are you crying?" Donghyuck asked. If he was guilty, he wouldn't show it. So he could prove his point that Jeno must rethink and wise up.

"You're breaking my heart before he does." Jeno inhales painfully. It's been a chronic pain before Donghyuck even mentioned it. Every time he thinks about not being enough, and that he doesn't stand a chance, it breaks him. But Jaemin, in a blink of an eye, can make him feel whole and complete. And to hear that coming from someone else's mouth, is a huge slap on Jeno's face. A wake up call that tells him to quit before it's too late.

"I'm going to ask permissions to the admin. You're changing rooms with Yangyang. Surrender your I.D pass on Friday."

He nods. Anything to make Donghyuck shut up. Because if Donghyuck says it's what's best for him, then it's what's best for him. He sees Jeno as someone helpless and irresponsible, which is most likely to be true. The problem, Jeno knows, is that he never listens. Seeing how much he'd mess up ignoring what's been told to him. This time, maybe he should consider what Donghyuck said.

"It's for you, don't hate me." Donghyuck reminds.

He nods again. Of course he knows. There's not a nice way to tell Jeno that either. If anything, he wishes Jaemin himself would say it to his face for him to stop all these delusions. He wishes Jaemin would break him sooner.

The first three days went painfully slow. Jeno literally stopped talking to Jaemin. Not even daring to look at his face for he might give in immediately once he sees Jaemin's smile. Yet, he's delusional enough to assume Jaemin would come around to coo him. And it's happening, that Jeno is impressed he hasn't succumb yet. He anticipates Jaemin to break whatever distance it is Jeno is trying to establish.

One night, when Jeno was coming out of the shower, Jaemin pushed him back in and corners him to the side. Jaemin holds his gaze, and there was an evident confusion written on his face. It was simple to go along with his plan if Jaemin is simply speaking, but being manhandled is another thing. Jaemin's grasp on his wrists is strong this time. Whatever annoyance it is Jaemin is trying not to show on his face, Jeno can feel it with how forceful he's being right now.

Maybe Jaemin is waiting for him to talk first. Not making any movement or losening his grip on Jeno as though it wasn't an odd position they're in at the moment. But Jeno wants to believe he isn't easy, so he looked away, his lips tight and zipped. It's goddamn ridiculous. Jaemin might see him as someone so ridiculously stupid now.

"Did I do something?" Jaemin asked.

"No." Jeno mouths.

"Look at me." Jaemin demands, lifting up Jeno's chin.

Jeno shrugged him away, shaking his head. It's then that Jaemin loosens his hold on him, and Jeno finds his chance to escape. Darting outside the bathroom in case Jaemin decides to pull him in again. His heart is beating erratically and wonders if Jaemin had heard it.

There's no safe distance inside the room, where only the two of them are together. And before Jaemin could even peek his head out of the bathroom to look for him, Jeno makes his way out the door. He had to avoid Jaemin, not only for Donghyuck's self explanatory satisfaction, but to avoid any further unwanted emotions.

When he comes back to their room that night, Jaemin was sleeping. Just then, Jeno let's out a sigh of relief. It's not easy to avoid and ignore Jaemin, if he's insanely drawn to him. His body acting on it's own. That when he's sure Jaemin isn't looking, Jeno would find his chance to peek at his face in adoration. Or whenever Jaemin speaks, his voice outstands everyone else's and he's the only person Jeno could hear. If Donghyuck would ask him the same question on how bad he has it, then the answer is obvious.

He didn't mean to see it. Jeno was generous enough when their physics teacher grumbled about forgetting the light bulb that will be used as a sample for his lecture at the storage room. Yet, when he was about to step in, he was strike in surprised when he sees two familiar people in side. It was Jaemin, standing and looking at him in shock, and the other is Renjun who's slightly bent down with a hand on his face.

"What is going---" The question died in his throat when he sees a bit of blood on Renjun's face. So he runs to him, holding him up. "What did you do to him?!" He glowered at Jaemin who stepped back at his rage.

"It's nothing. It's my fault." Renjun tells Jeno, holding him back. Even at this situation, he's still his apathetic self: his voice calm and face showing no emotion.

Jeno had no idea what went on. But one thing is for sure, Jaemin punched Renjun. No matter how impossible of a scenario it is to think of.

"Jeno, it's okay." Renjun muses again.

When he looks at Jaemin another time, he was looking away. His brows were furrowed of contrition, and shame that Jeno had seen just that. There must be a reason behind it, and Jeno wants to ask. But Jaemin is already darting out the room and running away.

"Jae---Jaemin!" He called in an attempt to console. Jaemin isn't the type to hurt anybody, or so he believes. Even if it meant intruding, Jeno wants to know. It takes a lot of control not to run after him.

Silence takes in, with only the loud sound of Renjun's breathing inside the room. It could be from the pain he's having right now. He'd offer to take him to the clinic, but knowing Renjun, he would refuse and rather plead for Jeno not to tell anyone about it. In a weighty tone where all Jeno could do is agree.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened? Or is he?" He asked, setting the conversation straight. As he expects, Renjun wouldn't even open his mouth to answer that very question, what more it is for him to explain it. A tap on the shoulder tells Jeno that the most he can get from Renjun is silence.

"Go back to your class."

The next person to leave the room is Renjun, and Jeno is left there alone with his self-destructive curiosity. For Jaemin to lift a hand at Renjun doesn't fit in one sentence. He'd give Jaemin the benefit of the doubt, but no friend shall to that to his friend. Maybe he had too much trust in Jaemin to act decent at all times. But still, there must be a reason.

When he went home from school that afternoon, he expects the dorm room to be empty. But surprisingly, Jaemin is sitting on his own bed and Jeno likes to believe he's waiting for him. Battling whether or not he should ask him what happened, but the latter won; Jeno had to much pride that he wouldn't yield to Jaemin's silent treatment.

Trying to act casual, Jeno does his customary routine after school. Rearranging his bag and desk, and changing from his uniforms. Although he's aware of Jaemin's eyes fixed on him from his first step in the room, he dares not to acknowledge it. He pulled out his luggage below the bed and continues with packing his things. The next day, he's going to transfer to Donghyuck's room where it isn't suffocating. The sort of comfort Jeno needs for awhile now. But he's moving out, and already talked to the management of the apartment Winwin lives. Although he's still in line waiting for a vacancy.

"Yangyang told me you're trading rooms with him."

His voice was hoarse that Jeno freezes on his spot for a moment. Hearing the footsteps that walks towards him, Jeno ignored his trepidation and sinks in the mind that in two days, he doesn't have to obliterate with his feelings and Jaemin anymore. "Yeah? Happy?”. Although he only did that to throw him off. For Jaemin might say no and begs for Jeno to stay.

What he didn't expect was Jaemin pulling him up from his crouching position on the floor and making him seat on the bed. And he was gentle; hands the warmest Jeno ever felt. And Jaemin kneeled in front of him, holding his hands right above his knees. His eyes were red and miserable, and Jeno wants to know why he cried.

"Renjun was in a relationship with Sehwi. They dated for a year and broke up just recently." Jaemin says in a low voice, playing with Jeno's fingers.

His face contorts in confusion. Jeno reckons it's the reason why he punched Renjun. But that was a selfish attack, Jeno wants to say he shouldn't have done it either way. But Jaemin looks so hurt so he kept his mouth shut, lifting his hands up to Jaemin's face instead. This time, he intends to take advantage of the moment. To make Jaemin realize that Jeno is there to understand him.

"I know I have no reason to be angry. But, I feel so stupid. He didn’t have to keep it from me, from everyone, right? He apologized. Too many times. And every time he does, I feel insulted. Like, why is he's so accustomed to treating me like a fool?"

There are many questions inside Jeno's head. If Jaemin is really in love with Sehwi, or if he's in love with the pain of the idea of liking her. And Jeno inhales the smell of beer when Jaemin leans in closer, resting his head on Jeno's chest. He doesn't care about what went on between Renjun and Sehwi, but Jaemin looks so exhausted and broken that Jeno aches for him. Without hesitation, he wraps his arms around Jaemin's back. Jeno have no time to ponder whether it's wrong or right when he pull Jaemin closer. Or if his hand is the right hand Jaemin should be holding right now. But if Jaemin is always the first to initiates the touch, then maybe this is okay. That he can interpret it as Jaemin likes him too. Jeno doesn't anymore trust his self control by the time there was a pair of lips on his.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeno can still feel it. The sadness that reflected from Jaemin's eyes, as though Jeno, too, have been stabbed in the back. The betrayal of a friend that inflicted to his throat and he couldn't breathe. He saw the way it pains Jaemin to admit what Renjun had done, that Jeno also ached for him. But it hurts more to know that Jaemin is still trapped in a burning wreck along with his devotion over someone who doesn't feel the same for him. And Jeno is on the same boat, but is amenable to sail for him. The thing is, Jaemin preferred to endure the grief all to himself until he couldn't anymore. If he understood what Jaemin was going through much earlier, if he understands it more than just what he can perceive with Jaemin being placid about it, then Jeno would've been there to bear him a hand. If not from the beginning, Jeno wanted to be there not before it's all too late. 

Jeno can still feel it. The light fleeting touches that made him shiver down his spine as Jaemin touches him as if Jeno is something fragile. Making all his insecuries fade away with the gentle touch of soothing fingers against his skin. Like the tender feeling Jaemin does to his heart whenever he smiled at him. 

Jeno can still feel Jaemin's hot lips against his. The carress of Jaemin's tongue as he traced it across Jeno's bottom lip. And suddenly, the taste of his soft lips is all Jeno could remember. The throbbing of the other's heart against his chest tells Jeno he deserves this, that he's good enough for this kiss. 

Jeno doesn’t remember how he was able to pull away from Jaemin, trapped in the younger’s arms and lips. At that point, whatever is it that came in his head that he ended up kissing Jaemin, not once or twice, but four times, Jeno doesn't know whether he does it because he's angry with Donghyuck and wants to prove him wrong towards his assumption regarding the way Jaemin feels about Jeno. Or simply, if he wanted it. 

Opening his eyes, he was welcomed with the familiar feeling and the scent he's used to inside the room. A smile made it's way to Jeno's face when he realized it wasn't just a dream and that he isn't crazy. When the drowsiness went away, Jeno hears the loud sound and he found Jaemin rummaging through the drawers. His cheeks heat up in excitement, heart fluttering and he sat up because now is the perfect time to greet him a good morning, even if he didn't wake up on Jaemin's arms. It didn't matter, as long as he can still envision the feeling of Jaemin's warm lips against his. 

"Go---go back to your own bed, Jeno." Jaemin stammers. One hand clutching tight at the towel that was wrapped around his waist, and the other digging on the drawers. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and seeing the blotches of red around his chest makes Jeno shivers knowing that he did it. 

"Jaemin? "

"Please, just. Don't say anything. Please. " Jaemin pleads.

At first, Jeno didn't want to believe his conjecture. Rather thinking that Jaemin is just in a hurry, late for his training. But judging from how he's avoiding Jeno's gaze and practically telling him to shut up, then he's avoiding it. And from the way he turned to his side to shut off away from Jeno's view even when Jeno already seen all of him. "Jaemin, last night we---" 

"I said don't say anything. I'm.... Please." 

Jeno hates being forthright vulnerable and vehement. It's the same damn old scene, where he couldn't defend himself. He wasn't strong enough to face a sore rejection. Donghyuck was right. Jeno should've never assumed and caved in. He has given Jaemin something substantial, his first kiss, a part of him, but what's important to him may not be as it is to the other. And with shaking hands, Jeno reaches blindly to any clothes he could find on the bed. Eyes fogged up with the tears he supposes shouldn't be there to display how weak he is. His whole body aches as he stood up. What felt like heaven awhile back, now he can feel his body tearing limb from limb. "J--Jaemin." Jeno tries again. 

Tears streamed down his cheeks another time. Even a bit of explanation will be enough, as to why is Jaemin shoving him now when hewas kissing him last night, or at least a logical word to unriddle his behavior. If he regret what they've done, or if he find Jeno disgusting. His throat began to hurt, holding back the sobs that Jaemin shouldn't hear. 

The room was suffocating and the last place he wants to be in. Once back on his shirt, Jeno escaped, and only when he flew out the room, he starts to bawl. Half wishing no one could hear him because he wasn't ready to spell out the current situation he's in, but also half wishing that someone could come to his rescue. 

His chest feels heavy, and it was hard to breathe. It hurts because Donghyuck was right, it hurts because Jaemin doesn't need him. Jeno was way too ambitious, the regret of what he'd got himself into couldn't be erase. He was too stupid to even think that kissing Jaemin would put him to the place where he wants him to. 

With aching legs, Jeno falters to the lobby. He needs to compose himself first. He couldn't run out the dorm on his night clothes, bare foot and looking too worn-out. Assured that it wouldn't be like the last time when Jaemin would wait for him outside to comeback. In fact, this should be the right time to put an end to his overwhelming want for him. 

"Why are you crying?" 

Jeno stopped on his tracks at the familiarity of the voice. There he saw Renjun standing by the window in the lounge. In no time, he runs to Renjun, wrapping his arms around him tight for support and crying on his chest. That's when he let it all out. If he was messing up his shirt, or crying way too loud, the lounge is a safe distance for anyone in their rooms to hear, Renjun just let him. And he embraces Jeno too, gentle hands rubbing comforting circles on his back. 

He remembers how it all began, Jaemin admitting his problems and Renjun being the cause of his distress. But with or without that circumstances, Jeno knows Renjun favor him and right now, that's what he needs. Jeno doesn't want to think Jaemin only used him to relieve. And even if Jeno isn't that important to him, at least be believes he isn't that worthless.

Renjun didn't say anything either as he kisses the top of Jeno's head, twice. To let him know that Jeno is never alone and that he'd always been there to his aid. Jeno is always charmed by the amount of attention Renjun gives him. As though Jeno is still that little child he always claims he wants to protect back when they were kids. Even with Xiaojun around, Jeno never missed the concerned glances Renjun always sends him when he suddenly became the topic of their friends' mockery. Or how he would ask if Jeno have eaten, if he disliked the food so Renjun could get him another, or if he had a good sleep, these are the list of things Jaemin couldn't give him on an even keel, or at least he tries too sometimes. But there's a difference in the effects, when he isn't in love with Renjun but he is to Jaemin. 

Jaemin would playfully watch him takes off his clothes, but Renjun is the person who would tell him to put on his clothes.

"Are you going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to kiss you?" 

It was an empty dare and Jeno knows he wouldn't do it, even when his hands are on Jeno's cheeks and pulling him closer. There had to be a reason as to why Jeno would run to him at four in the morning, crying and looking spent. Renjun had given him enough time to cry, and now it's his turn to force the words out of Jeno. 

"I... he kissed me last night...Jaemin. We made out for hours but this morning... But he's acting like nothing happened." With a heavy heart, Jeno admits. It's not about what happened that angers him, it's about the way Jaemin acted after they've done it, is the messaged he wants to send Renjun. Unlike Donghyuck, he knows Renjun wouldn't judge him. Because he knows Renjun understands him more than anyone, even when Jeno doesn't tell him anything.

He waited for a rant, or a yell of incredulity, but Renjun didn't even let out a sigh. He pulls away from the embrace, hand sliding up on top of Jeno's head as if to tell him that he really fucked up this time. Another jolt of nervousness prickled against Jeno's skin when Renjun walks past Jeno and strides to his room. 

"Renjun." He followed, trying to stop him. "What are you going to do? Renjun, stop." 

He finds himself inside the room again, and Jaemin looks too stunned, on his school uniform, fresh from the shower, to see them. Renjun didn't give him enough time to analyze the situation because the hand Jeno was holding awhile ago, is already swunged towards Jaemin's face. Hearing the loud thud and the hitting of flesh, Jeno was petrified. Until he sees the drops of blood that spills out of Jaemin's lips. 

"Oh god.” Jeno whimpered, closing his eyes. Stepping in front of Renjun to stop him from whatever else is coming. "Renjun, stop. Please." 

For the moment, Renjun squirmed out of his grasp. There's no way Renjun is stronger than Jeno, or Jaemin, but the agitation was high, and he listened when Jeno told him to stop. As though Renjun is afraid that it will break Jeno more if he'd done more than what Jeno expects him to, even when Renjun believes Jaemin deserves more than that. A conflict between them already exist, and Jeno didn't mean to put fire on it once again.

"What did you do to Jeno?" Renjun questions in a stern voice. When he sees the unanswered questions that reflects in Jeno's eyes the moment he talked and told him the problem, then he would compel Jaemin to speak. Because Jeno is desperate for words, even if it will hurt him or not. 

"Do to him?" Jaemin spits out the blood to the floor, and to emphasize his vexation against Renjun's violence, and that question. He didn't dart away, remaining from his stand and holding Renjun's gaze. "I was drunk. He was the one sober, shouldn't you be asking him?" 

There was a needed silence, and Jeno knew that Renjun's heart sank upon hearing the truth. Because Jeno is in no room on defending himself, even if Jaemin kissed him first, or maybe he did, he doesn’t remember. He was drunk and Jeno should’ve known better.

However, Renjun doesn't look fed up when he looks at Jeno with a gentle stare. There are words at the tip of his tongue for Jaemin that he doesn't let out, because he knows it will hurt Jeno too. But he doesn't hug Jeno even if he needs it right now, because it will give more reason for Jaemin to cheapen him. 

No further words were exchanged, other than the stiffled whimper that comes out of Jeno. Seeming that none of them knows how to seize the rancid moment. Until Jaemin picks up his sports bag, and flew out of the room leaving the two of them alone. 

After a brief moment, Renjun was the one to speak first. "I'm sorry. He's a scumbag." 

"He hates me." Jeno supposes, voice cracking at the last part. It was an easier cogitation to shoulder, than the actual thought of Jaemin disliking him. Whereas he can believe that Jaemin has a rational excuse to shove him away. That he can forgive Jeno one day and give him a chance. 

"Yukhei told me you were moving out. How come he knew it and I don't?" 

"So I could avoid fucking up, like what happened last night." Jeno chokes. 

If Renjun is surprised at his confession, then he doesn't show it. Instead, he placed a hand on top of Jeno's head, the way Jaemin does it. But the feeling was different, because his heart didn't skip a beat, rather there were sparks that allows his brain cells to work. Unspoken, yet Jeno can predict what Renjun had to say, "You should've done it earlier." He voiced out, gentle, to not sound like what happened was Jeno's fault. 

"If you want to move out today, I will help you. Now that the others are still asleep." Renjun suggest. 

Jeno didn't agree in an instant, but with Renjun saying it, makes it sound like the safest choice, and Jeno trust him more than anyone. Renjun waited for him to nod, before he strides towards him and wrapped him on an embrace. 

"You're early." 

The silence wasn't consoling at all, as Jaemin stares blankly on the empty field. At any moment, the sun would rise, but it was still dark and freezing and Jaemin is numb from the cold. He looked up to Hendery, on his training uniform and playing with a soccerball in hands. Playfully, he thrust it on Jaemin's chest but takes it back in instant when he saw the intolerance in his eyes. "Something up?" He asked. 

"No." Jaemin says, shaking his head. He could play and forget, but he was tired, and the cause being the exertion last night makes his head explode. 

Hendery let's out a bitter laugh, because Jaemin's reply wouldn't fool anyone. Not even Hendery who only cares about winning the game. "Fine, then. If you can make a goal, you can skip for today. Sounds good?" 

With a hesitant nod, Jaemin stood up. Taking Hendery’s hand. Desperation sips through him because his opponent hasn't signal for them to start yet, but Jaemin steal the ball that was between Hendery’s foot and the ground, kicking it and running fast towards the goal. And in a matter of seconds, it was in. 

As he expects, Hendery bestowed him a sarcastic applause. "You'd be coach's favorite, if you weren't problematic." He remarked, and takes Jaemin's hand for a handshake. 

"Am I free now?" Jaemin asked.

Humming in response, Hendery hands Jaemin a candy. Something Jaemin noticed that he always snack on whenever they have a game or tired from practice. As though it's where Hendery gets his strength from. Jaemin takes it wholeheartedly, bumping their fist together, and he takes his leave. "But hey, call Yangyang or something!" Jaemin hears him shout. 

Regardless, Jaemin didn't actually leave the field. Anything to kill time, to erase the photographic images of his last night's mistake that drills inside his little head. Really, he should've listened to Yangyang who didn't accompany him, but Jaemin and his little of brain still insisted to drink alone. Then he wouldn't be spitting blood around, the courtesy of the rugged punch he received first thing in the morning. Unconscious of what he'd done, Jaemin only gauges that he only needed space. That, and he can fix everything when he's back to a state where he can think properly. The football field is the enough space he needs. He run back, stealing the ball another time and aiming for the goal. This time, though, Hendery blocked him. With his monotonous voice, he asked, "You're that bothered, aren't you?", and run past Jaemin taking the ball from him. 

Nonetheless, Jaemin didn't say anything. Directing his mind to the very unpleasant memories he had endure trying out the first time for the football team in middle school. Hendery, being his sheer nemesis. Jaemin had to work his ass off, and try his hardest, while Hendery was born with it. A potent ability he'd always envy of. Although due to odd circumstances, they're on one team now, cheering one another. 

Standing by the gates, Jaemin calls Yangyang before the classes starts. Too rare for him to come to class on time and it was miraculous when he told Jaemin that he's ten steps away from the school when classes isn't starting in two more minutes. Watching the bundles of students rushing in the gates, he didn't notice Yangyang coming towards him who playfully flicked his ear for a greeting. 

"Why did you call me?" Yangyang asked. He was breathing fast, from running in hurry because of Jaemin's call.

That's when it hits Jaemin. He froze in his spot, unable to think of a start on how to explain it. It was too complex for words that, physically, he can feel his throat drying. Yangyang makes a sound to remind the petrified Jaemin that he's waiting for an answer, that the latter couldn't make out of. However, Yangyang shrugs it off and pulled Jaemin inside the gates. 

"W--wait." He stammers, by the time they enter the building and before Jaemin could pass through his classrooms. He forcibly pushed Yangyang to the wall, to avoid being seen and asked Yangyang to peek inside the room instead. "Is Jeno... inside?" He asked, nervous. 

"What's wrong dude." Yangyang whines because Jaemin is pulling at his hair to twist his head. "And aw, no he isn't. Let me go." 

"C--can you....." Call Renjun and ask where he is, is what Jaemin wants to say. But that's way too ambitious after what he'd done. He's in no place to act concern, when he more or less told him off. "Let's play LOL?" Jaemin says instead. 

It was hard to speak about, what he needed to tell Yangyang, because that would mean processing what happened yet again in his weary head. Afraid of the forthcoming interrogation Yangyang will shower him to bring it out. The idea of it alone, convoluted and implausible, would bother anyone including Yangyang with the single ounce idea of it. He made out with Jeno. Even Jaemin couldn't make out of.

Though about to answer, Yangyang managed to control his hype at the invite. Sending Jaemin a judging look, "So you don't come to class when he isn't around. How sweet, Jaemin." Although, already making his way to the exit, a path to the back gates where they can escape without getting noticed by the guards. 

Jaemin watches the back of Yangyang’s head as he followed behind. Albeit being overly concern on the tiniest of things, often times Yangyang didn't notice what's really substantial, or at least he haven't yet. Taking advantage of this, Jaemin plays along blabbering about how scared he is to come to Health class because he didn't have anyone to copy his homework from. 

As though the room alone wasn't smothering enough, when he got home, he didn't expect Jeno to be there. He stares at his crouching figure on the floor, the trace of spine visible at the shirt he was wearing. Jeno must be one of the Gods for him to look impossibly fascinating on a plain attire. But then it clicks again, the disastrous memory from last night that overthrows him, the urge to run away, the spiteful struck on his responsive chord whenever Jeno avoids and treats him like a plague. 

"I left my papers. I'll leave right away." 

Jaemin stifles on his bed, sweaty hands clutching the sheets. It was so uncharacteristic for Jeno's voice to sound apologetic, that despite his perfect appearance, there was a hint of sickness and exhaustion on his voice. As much as he wants to spill out the questions that lingers on his mouth, how they ended up like this, Jaemin didn't. Until Jeno is walking out the room, and Jaemin supposes he's never coming back again. 

For a week, Jaemin managed to dodge all the questions away: Where is Jeno? What happened to Jeno? Did you do something to Jeno?; With the last question, that Jaemin calls bullshit. Always sporting a taken aback expression for an answer. It was easy to feign innocence, or act like he doesn't care, because despite being roommates, everyone guesses Jeno and him doesn't share an amicable bond anyway. So it was safe to assume none of them would suspect that Jeno and him once shared a bed, which is the beginning of it all. 

After that very day, Jaemin had quit to act civil with Renjun too, ending the mutual pretense they've been playing in a while. Which earns loads of questions from Yangyang, calling them weird and unfair. However, he trusts Renjun's ability to keep a secret, that he's confident that not even Xiaojun knows what happened between him and Jeno. Or else, Donghyuck would be strangling him to death right about now if he finds out. Somehow, he feels bad for Yangyang. Poor dude was thoroughly miserable trying to make out what went wrong, the gap existing between Jaemin and Renjun that they're displaying just now, because he had too much faith on them for the tables to turn this way.

So when Yangyang walked passed him in the hallway, not even batting an eye and treating Jaemin as if wishes he never existed at all. Jaemin felt the rush of guilt, the strong urge to amend before it's too late and he loses him. Without a second thought, Jaemin grabbed him the arm, pulling Yangyang with him. Once outside, the school garden, perhaps the most serene place in the school, Jaemin stopped and let him go. There where no protesting or whining, the usual demeanor Yangyang would be showing if he isn't so obviously pissed at Jaemin. 

"I have something to tell you." Jaemin starts, ignoring the way Yangyang rolled his eyes. Because despite all that, Jaemin knows he will listen, no matter how complicated and appalling this discussion gets. Even when he already pledged to keep it from everyone, Yangyang can effortlessly make him change his mind. He will always mean well, Jaemin knows. Nonetheless, this discussion will lead both of them to discomfort in anyway so he starts with the basic by saying, "I punched Renjun on the face. I was angry, because he dated Sehwi and kept it from everyone. From me. I was mad because he's taken me for a fool. For being my friend, and dating the girl he knows I'm in love with without even thinking how it would hurt me." And everything else along those lines Yangyang could figure out for himself.

"Wh--what?" Yangyang croaks out. He doesn't say a word, or move and inch, mouth hanging open. With that, Jaemin gives him enough time to process what had been spilled. He directs his gaze to Jaemin that he'd been avoiding the past few this, and with a horrified expression, he asked, "He did that?" 

Through a gradual phase, Jaemin managed to depreciate his indignation towards this matter. Probably because he had manage that he'd hurt enough of four years of unrequited love and now is the right time to give it up, that or probably what Jeno surmised that he's not in love with the girl and rather by the thought of it, baffled him to the extent that he was slightly convinced. And therefore, being in love with her, or being subconsciously hurt by her, would cause Jaemin the same damage. 

Jaemin is the greatest fan of her existence. Two weeks before the show, there were posters everywhere of the upcoming theatre presentation: The Beauty And The Beast. He would be smiling, passing around hallways and staring at them in admiration, because Sehwi looks so pretty in a yellow dress, and a rose in hand. Mark, The Beast, who's character remained a secret from anyone, always tantalized them about looking forward to it. Jaemin will be the first to get in line, to sit at the front row and applause for her; the performance was last night, but Jaemin wasn't there at all. 

Also, Jaemin wouldn't admit to anyone that yesterday, when he woke up from a deep slumber inside the library, he saw Ningning and didn't hesitate to rush on to her. It might have been from the lethargic of not being fully awaken, but without further a due, he asked her where Jeno is. For a second, Ningning looked confused when she reached out behind Jaemin. Quickly, Jaemin moves to the side when he realized he was blocking Sehwi's way to the table. "Jaemin, Jeno went home to his mom." With the amount of unhinging thoughts that wanders inside his head, and the transient glance Sehwi sent him that makes his skin burn, there was no room for another inhibition. Yet, his heart dropped, if it was from the foreign feeling that hugs his nerves being close to Sehwi's presence, or the strung of consience that lies underneath his pride, the damage was done and he had hurt Jeno to the point where he had to leave. 

"And I made out with Jeno. We—we kissed. It was fucking insane. I was fucking insane." Jaemin says without a warning, observing the way Yangyang’s expression turn from irked to incredulity. The situation alone was bad enough, knowing no matter how careful he drops the bomb, it will still explode. "And I didn't want---I ask him to go back to his bed the next morning, he cried. Renjun was there, he punched me." 

Yangyang fell on the ground, hands clutching his hair at the back of his head. This time, Jaemin knew it wasn't because of the amount of the things that he missed, but the weight of it. He remained in that position and Jaemin gave him all the time to process his revelations that was probably too much for Yangyang, or for anyone else who will hear it. 

"I was drunk and ---" 

"The liquor did it? Is that what you want to say?" Yangyang interrupts in a stern voice, throwing daggers at him. There was a hint of rage in his voice that had Jaemin biting at his tongue. 

"No, I just. He kissed me, first, I think. He took my shirt off, and I was too stoned to avoid what was going to happen." Jaemin defended, recalling the inclination that was there on Jeno's eyes that Jaemin, on his drunken state, didn't have the heart to refuse to his endeavour. Jeno was too tempting that he gave in, but a sober Jaemin thinks otherwise. "And fuck, I didn't want that. He's not--- I don't know. It's making me sick." 

"I knew it. You're the reason why he left." Yangyang palms his face as though he had given up at Jaemin's hopelessness. 

"He kept on telling me he likes me." Jaemin discloses. Perhaps it was frustrating, the lucidity of the words that came out of Jeno's mouth that replays like a mantra on his ears. But it's difficult to tell apart, what a lie from what is not, unless he can get inside Jeno's head, though he doesn't need any confirmation. It was pointless. 

"Damn." Yangyang exhales, standing up. He walks towards Jaemin and dabs him on the chest."He probably thought you liked him too."

"What?" 

"Jaemin, you're a flirt. You flirt with everyone."

"I'm not."

"You gotta apologize to him." 

Jaemin was going to protest but it's as though he saw right through him, about the flirting. Donghyuck treats Jeno the same way, Renjun even exaggerate his immersion towards him in an unimaginable capacity. How come Jaemin is the only receiving end of the knock?

"And don't tell me he should be the one apologizing to you because you didn't want it. Because..... in the first place.... that wouldn't have to happen. Remember when you were drunk and tried kissing Mark hyung? Donghyuck literally had to lock you in the restroom for 30 minutes. Or when you admitted to everyone that you like Sehwi. Or when you confessed you're bisexual and ask me not to avoid you, like heck I would. You do really crazy shit when you’re drunk, but this time, you’ve hurt someone. You’ve hurt Jeno.”

Hearing Yangyang's lecturing, Jaemin wanted to object that he didn't really want it. Yet it was a weak retort to say that it only happened because he's too wasted, and to think straight is impossible when you're wasted and stressed-out. Besides, what Yangyang had mentioned was entirely different, the kiss with Mark didn't happen at all and he was just playing around. Or so what if he told everyone that he likes Sehwi, so they would stop harassing him of the same dumb question. Or that he cheated on an exam, everyone does that at desperate times. Or that he's worried Yangyang will be disgusted if he finds out he's bisexual, it's normal to feel insecure. But Yangyang looks way too impatient and riled for another crap of an excuse Jaemin will be spitting. Besides, Yangyang appears to be holding back his words, careful not to offend him that will make the situation even worse. Yangyang may not tolerate him, but wouldn't push him around either. 

"He'll be back by Monday." Yangyang says, a news that had Jaemin lifting his head up. This time, Yangyang pinches Jaemin's ear with his long fingernails making him squeak. "Poor Jeno, for being liking someone like you. I want to give him a hug." 

Coming from Yangyanh, Jaemin is aware that those words were hollow, if Jeno was in love with him. He didn't really want to make a big deal out of it, that could only be coming from the heat of the moment while they were indulging on the bed. Perhaps, Jeno didn't say it at all and it's only in his head, but the damage when he had to push Jeno away...then maybe, he did say it. 

"If Donghyuck finds out, you're going to get killed." Yangyang daunts, turning around to look at him again just when Jaemin believes he's so desperate on dismissing the topic. 

Of course, that's not going to happen. Or so, Jaemin believes, hopes. But knowing Donghyuck wouldn't make it easy for him when he finds out. Jaemin wishes Jeno didn't cry, so he could believe that those three words where empty. That he didn't have to feel guilty. As much as he didn't want to think that Jeno took advantage of him, he also put up much credence that it wasn't his fault and that Jeno should've been more responsible with his actions. From his instinct, Jaemin can tell, that according to the people around him, it's his own fault. Because on any angles, Jeno is the only who cried, and perhaps the only one who's hurt. 

Jeno didn't mean it when he said he loves him, Jaemin is certain. So all his guilt decomposes and not an ounce was left after a week of avoiding each other, like plagues, at school. At first, he thought it would be difficult to renounce Jeno off easily, and if he was angry at Jaemin, then he's good at hiding it. But since he already moved out, and Jeno always find his way to exchange seats with someone from the front row reasoning that his eyes are bad, and if Jeno doesn't even want to look him in the eye, both of them were able to attain it. Jaemin assuming it's Jeno's initial plan as well, not some silly sort of reconciliation. 

Jaemin didn't apologize. The last time Yangyang tried to convinced him to do so was the first time he did, and Jaemin understood the unspoken reason, that Jeno and him are better off apart. Amused at how well Jeno can cope after such tragic, he probably deceived Donghyuck with a convincing lie as to why he moved out, given that Donghyuck isn't bombarding Jaemin and leaving him out of the picture. If Jeno can manage to look perfectly majestic like a freshly released manga character after the incidence, then why can't Jaemin? It's a foolish hope, when a single glance of Sehwi or Renjun in the hallways makes him want to run away, or the simple thought of Jeno gives him the shivers. 

As much as he wants to get over, Jaemin needed someone to let out all his resentment. Somewhat, it doesn't feel right to talk to Yangyang all his resentments regarding Renjun, although he didn't doubt it when he said he already broke up with Sehwi. There was no point in lying anyway, or telling Jaemin that in the first place. The damage was done with only the remedy is Jaemin's forgiveness. But it's too early to settle it, and Jaemin doesn't know if it's even meritorious to forgive him. Jeno would've been a good company to talk it all about, because Jeno doesn't judge or reprimand him, if only Jaemin didn't treat him unfairly. 

"Oh I'm so---" 

Jaemin didn't finish his apology, if the sullen look Jeno sent him wasn't enough to downgrade him yet, with his chin held up as high as his brushed up hair, intimidating Jaemin in so many levels. His arm accidentally bumped on Jeno's who was taking down notes, a mere of an accident if Jeno's response didn't made Jaemin feel so small. And he fights all the urge to rant about his overt reaction. Jaemin opts to compose himself, since the conscience of him doing Jeno wrong still lingers no matter how much he wants to believe that it wasn't his fault. 

What a coincidence was it, Jaemin was about the brush his teeth at the restroom sink , facing the mirror, Yangyang was there too and way too engrossed flossing his teeth when Jeno barged in making his way to the urinal. Watching him from the mirror, Jeno stood still, looking back at him. As though Jeno is aware that Yangyang isn't oblivious to what went on between them because he can act intimidating around Jaemin, like he always does when none of their friends are around, not afraid for questions. 

"Don't look." Jeno commands, turning around. It covers everything important, and maybe Jeno is just self conscious that Jaemin is there to see him pee. 

Jaemin would fulminate about how Jeno should hush about his prudery and that he'd seen it all anyway, but he's afraid Yangyang would judge him so he says instead, "You can jack off for all you want I wouldn't even glance." 

"Jack off, really Jaemin." Yangyang grunts, making Jaemin think he should've opt to say the first one instead. Yangyang mutters about leaving him out of whatever it is Jaemin and Jeno should be doing in a private place, so he excuses himself to wait outside and tells them not to take too long. 

By the time Jeno finished, Jaemin has yet to begin to brush his teeth. Unconscious that he actually end up staring at Jeno's back, in lost of what to retort at Yangyang’s sneering, and he saw Jaemin doing so. As Jaemin expects, Jeno isn't in this to ignore him, but rather to provoke him. But he isn't some impending threat Jaemin is terrified about, if anything, Jeno and his effort is adorable. 

"Pervert." Jeno muttered under his breath, almost inaudible as he walked pass Jaemin. 

"Excuse me?" Jaemin complains right away before Jeno could make it to the door. Clumsily closing the lid of the toothpaste in annoyance. When did the simplest of Jeno's words start having too much effects on him? 

Jeno turns back around, eyes shooting daggers at Jaemin. By the oppressive look on his face, Jaemin would be scared if he hadn't known the fragility of the person he's facing right now, behind the solemn mask he's wearing. In addition to that, is his cute voice that says "Well, aren't you?" 

Jaemin has a list of lines to retaliate. He could say the same for Jeno, too, who kissed him when he was on a drunken state. But judging by his actions of being defensive, Jaemin concludes it's going to hurt him so he didn't. And suddenly, it feels ridiculous to be arguing over debauchery with the guy he just made out with. Jaemin wouldn't admit that the blurred images of Jeno covered in sweat and catching air on his bed still throw him off, so without another word, he let's Jeno walk out on him. 

"Jaemin, you are changing."

Yangyang comments bold out of the blue. He reaches the plastic bags of junk foods in Jaemin's hands and carry it right when they got out the convenient store. 

Jaemin would ask why, but Yangyang isn't stupid to notice. After his incident with Jeno, Jaemin is in a constant frustration and headache, that he is left with a small control of his propriety. Too subdued to scrimmage with the thought of Jeno that lingers in his conscience. Yesterday, he screamed at Jisung when the younger greeted him with a clutch on the arm, an unusual reflex because Jaemin is someone composed and wouldn't do that in any normal circumstances. He apologized though, but Jisung looked so terrified that he doubts the younger will talk to him ever again. Or last week when Ningning approached him and Jaemin literally sprints away from her into thinking that Jeno sent her to upraid him, when in fact, Donghyuck said Ningning only asked because she's just need Jaemin's help for Maths. Jaemin wouldn't admit it's paranoia, because Ningning could only be using that as an excuse to get the two of them for a talk, so she can chide Jaemin with all her might to defend her bestfriend. 

Today, Jaemin swore he didn't mean to get angry at the cashier who forgot to give him the receipt because the guard might mistook him for shoplifting and that would’ve been a big trouble. Or when he pushed Yangyang for accidentally stepping on his shoe, it's white so it's reasonable to get angry? Jaemin has no intention to hurt anyone, he's just making mere frantics. He'll get over. He didn't have a problem either and there's nothing to worry about, or at least he thinks so. But on the other side, he knows this is the reason why Yangyang didn't agreed upon moving to his room. Because Jaemin is a prick who isn't on his right mind, a walking dickhead. 

"It's about Jeno, right?" Yangyang dares to ask. 

They've been avoiding it, to discuss such sensitive topic. Which Jaemin wishes he was drunk enough to the point where he wouldn't remember what happened. To erase the feeling of Jeno's warmth against his skin that permeates to his whole being, the touches, the moans, and the image of Jeno’s bare chest. “Fuck." Jaemin grunts and let's out and exasperated sigh. 

"I'm sorry, I really wanted to help you unpack." 

Amicably, Jeno left his door half open that allows Winwin to enter. The atmosphere in the apartment was warm, with his new roommate that could possibly be one of the nicest person on Earth. Taking a breather from the things he wanted to forget, he decided to went back to his home. A perfect timing to meet his three week old nephew he's been dying to see right after his mom sent him a message that his sister gave birth. Being home helped Jeno to ease his mind. He busies himself with the house chores, taking care of his nephew and the house dog, helping his mom cook, anything to save himself from the unwanted thoughts of Na Jaemin. 

Going back to Seoul, Jeno clutch his fingers in fear of the possible prying questions that's in line for him. But what he got are a bunch of congratulations for being the most handsome uncle ever and that's the time when Jeno was able to breathe without the worries in his throat. He isn't a very good liar, and Donghyuck was sharp and difficult to fool, but when asked why he moved out, he convinced everyone when he used the excuse of having a newborn baby in the house obliged him to financial control, and the rent at Winwin’s apartment is half the price of staying in the dorm. Renjun is always there to back him up, so Jeno feels safe sitting beside him when they have lunch together. 

Jeno can already imagine what of a mauler Donghyuck will become once he find out everything. Renjun wouldn't expose anything, and he trust Jaemin's silence. The only one close to knowing other than those two is Yangyang, to which opinions' Jeno don't care much about. Behind Jaemin's angelic smiles was a person Jeno doesn't want to encounter ever again, so for self-defense, he avoids Jaemin with all his might. It's a matter of five months of being friendly with him, versus the five years of Jeno neglecting his presence so it should he easy for him to adjust, but.... 

Winwin isn't one to pry. In fact, he let's Jeno do what he wants. From not questioning how often he cleaned up the kitchen in a day, how much sugar cubes he put on his coffee, or how he let's Jeno cry himself to sleep in his room at night. Winwin is one of the friends he wishes he'd known longer. But maybe he'd had enough of Jeno too, for his desolation is infecting the whole house, so he said, "There's something bothering you..." 

Although it made him sick to his stomach talking about it, Winwin’s voice was gentle and feels reassuring. So Jeno tells him everything, without hiding the fact that he's in love with Jaemin. Anyone would judge him into thinking that he took advantage of Jaemin being drunk, he did kiss him first , but there wasn't an escape because at that time, he wanted it. That tricked him into actually believing that maybe Jaemin wants him too. So when he woke up to Jaemin's denial, it crashed and burned him. Still, it hurts to think about. As though Jeno is left with no option other than to live with the pain. Knowing there won't be any changes or consolation until Jaemin is around. 

"Did he say he like you too?" Winwin asked in a careful voice, afraid that the question is going to break another chord in Jeno's sensitive heart.

Giving him a sad smile, Jeno shook his head. Jaemin doesn't like him. It's just Jeno who mistook Jaemin's kindness into thinking that Jaemin likes him too. There aren't any words to butter up the pain of a broken heart, and that left him no option but to endure it. Winwin didn't coax him for another false hope, instead, he offered Jeno a warm hug to calm him down from having to cry again. 

Renjun and Xiaojun became a regular people at their apartment, and other times with Donghyuck tagging along. Jeno became acquainted to the same scene of Winwin sending Renjun out, to which the latter ignores all the time that will make Xiaojun laugh. Today, only the couple came and surprised Jeno with a bouquet of flowers and a chocolate box. 

"Happy birthday, Jeno!" Xiaojun greets him and pulled him to a hug. 

Even if Jeno claims he hates birthday celebrations, his heart flutters at the simplest greetings and surprises. This year is different from the past since it's weekend and he didn't have to celebrate it at school with a silly birthday song inside the classroom. 

"A bouquet of flowers, really?" Jeno feigns annoyance, when they all know he feels otherwise. 

"Just be thankful I got you that." Renjun hisses. "And happy birthday." 

"Nothing I received from him on Valentine’s day, you know.” Xiaojun spits, elbowing Renjun in the chest who gasp in return. "But Jeno, it's your day. You deserve all the love in the world!" 

Chuckling at Xiaojun's exaggeration, Jeno placed the gifts on the table and run back to the stove. He's making a breakfast for Winwin that has yet to wake up, a freewill duty he does every morning. In return, he gets the younger to help him with his school homeworks. 

"Oh my god, pokemon!"

"What a child." Renjun sighed, shaking his head as he watches Xiaojun run to the living room. The new set up of the living room, Pokemon themed covers on the furnishings, catches Xiaojun's eyes for sure.

"You love him." Jeno teased, and hands Renjun the knife and the chopping board who offered to help. 

"I have a high tolerance, if you haven't notice." 

Which is true, because he managed to keep up with Jeno's intricacies all these time. There was an abrupt silence, and on the tip of Jeno's tongue, there is a questions he wants to ask Renjun; Why did he went out with Sehwi behind Jaemin's back, knowing that it will hurt Jaemin to the core. They never really have the chance to talk about Renjun, since all Jeno do is cry whenever they are left alone and Jeno is reminded of his own mistake. But he figures it could ruin the placidity that is there between them. He can swallow the curiosity that lingers in his throat, instead of losing the serenity that Renjun always allot him. 

"I'm attending an assembly for my class. I asked Xiaojun to come here with me so he could take you out. Don't want you to waste your birthday here in an ugly apartment with a loser." Renjun flashes him a wry smile. 

"A loser, huh?" Jeno repeats. Just then, his phone starts buzzing. There were consecutive messages from someone he never expects,

>From: Jaem?

<10:13 am>

Happy birthday

Jeno reads another of the same message, and the next one to make sure he read the sender right. Suddenly, there's a churning in his stomach. The steering of the butterflies whenever he catches Jaemin looking at him, or their stolid quick banter that happens more ofYangyang than not. There are the stark simplicity that shouldn't make Jeno crazy, but it does, the frantic swerve of his emotions of anything that is about Jaemin. 

"Who's that?" Renjun inquires. 

"Oh, n--nothing." Jeno stammers, pocketing his phone. Not that he is afraid of possible judgment if Renjun finds out a single text from Jaemin is making him flush, but rather, his contrition for his own ego. Throughout, he learned being easy for someone will cheapen his self value. The lowest degree he'd put himself into. "Birthday notifs." 

"Yo Jeno, finish quickly! I'm hungry!" Xiaojun shouts from the living room. 

The thing about Xiaojun, is that he likes to look good. Today, he helped Jeno dressed up and spent about an hour choosing what clothes to wear. Although he ends up wearing a black tanktop and white jeans, he isn't complaining because at least Xiaojun stopped with his scolding. Allowing the younger to style his hair for another thirty minutes because Jeno had given up with his neglected protests. Just as Jeno is about to say he looks funny looking at himself in the mirror, Renjun says he does and comments about Winwin probably dead inside his room before leaving. 

"You look sexy as hell." Xiaojun gasped. 

"What even." Jeno laughed. He really doesn't want to wear sleeveless shirts outside the house, but Xiaojun looked so pleased that he didn't have the heart to kick up a fuss. Suprising himself at the self-command he'd manage to develop lately. 

Jeno isn't surprised that Xiaojun is taking him to a something lame like a third floor commercial building. The first floor, a cafe they're about to enter, the second floor, an arcade, and the third, a dermatology clinic; an unusual setting. At the very least, the cafe is looking decent with it's white walls and flooring, expensive looking chandeliers that hangs on the ceiling. Xiaojun probably saw his admiration to the place, and says, "I knew you'd like it here. Let me get you a cake." 

One step away, they didn't make it to display of the baked goods. Because Jeno heard the unpredictable, the horror, the subject of his nightmare. 

"Jaemin! Yangyang!" Xiaojun calls. 

There was no time to process, or for the vicious beating of his heart to calm, because Xiaojun is pulling him to the table of doom. The next second, he got pushed to a seat and Jeno swore he'd hate Xiaojun after this. Because right now, Jaemin is probably staring at him with hawk eyes. 

"Hey, happy birthday." Yangyang greets warily, aware of the uncomfortable situation that's happening right before his eyes. 

"Are you guys out on a date?" Xiaojun asked them, enthusiast. Even if he meant no harm, his obliviousness is putting everyone in the table in a disturbing situation. 

"Yo Xiajun, there's a karaoke above... Let's make a bet, and shit." Yangyang tries. 

"I'll go--" 

"No." Yangyang cuts Jaemin. 

All Jeno wants is to leave the place. But he is too petrified to even breathe. The effects Jaemin has on him is unwordly enough that has his chest heaving and unheaving in an exasperating motion. Tears swelling at the corner of his eyes, the last of his pride, that he promised not to let go this time. There's no forgetting the memory of being shoved away, but he couldn't erase the images of Jaemin's pleasured face either. Jeno bit his lip, because it feels like any movement of his hand or feet would be wrong under Jaemin's judgment. 

"You look good today."

The first one to speak is Jaemin. As much as it sounded like a disingenuous flattery, Jeno still finds his fists clenching from the uncontrolled emotion that punch in his guts. It didn't help either when Jaemin adds,

"Are you trying to seduce me?" 

At that, Jeno wouldn't admit the shivers that was sent down his spine from the bad case of jitters Jaemin is giving him. His toes curls, eyes trained on the ground and avoiding Jaemin's gaze, because his tantalizing eyes is not much Jeno could take, and wishes his ears and cheeks that probably turned red would go unnoticed by Jaemin. It's just an sleeveless shirt he's wearing, but Jeno feels so exposed under Jaemin's gaze. 

"Should I get you something? What do you want to order?" Jaemin offers. 

"Stop. Stop. Just stop." Jeno spat out his words. Surprising himself at how he's able to repress to his emotions, not giving in despite how weak Jaemin had made him with his empty words, now that Jaemin's voice alone works wonders at the small of sanity that is left within him. Jaemin is acting like as though the person that sent him off to dejection, the cause of all his blues, has never existed. "I don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't want to be here. "

Their table fell into a silence, a knowing tension takes in. Jeno closed his eyes for what was there to come. This time, allowing Jaemin to make a response that he's been waiting for, a rejection that would put an end to all these. Jeno is convinced that Jaemin wouldn't like him back, but he insist to hear the words that could hurt him to the core, for him to be able to stop with his delusions. But what he heard was a rustle of chair against the floor. And the hand that was placed on the top of his head made him jolt. 

"I'll go upstairs and send Xiaojun down. Wait for him." Jaemin says. 

Hearing the footsteps that was fading, the absence of Jaemin's hand on top of his head makes him feel so alone. Jaemin's words aren't strong enough to tell him it's over, and Jeno hates himself too much for still hoping. Now is the time Jeno wishes Donghyuck was there to discourage him, to recite him the list of terrible things possible to happen if he insist his feelings towards Jaemin. The tears began to fall when Jaemin left, the aftershock of the predicament he was just in. 

"Jeno! I'm sorry I forgot about the cake! I --- are you crying?" Xiaojun gazes at him with a questioning look. 

"I'm not crying, I just.." Jeno stood up, wiping his tears with the back of his hands, as though such a blatant denial could convince Xiaojun. 

"What happened?" Xiaojun whispers, arms reaching out to embrace him. 

"Let's just get out of here. Please." 

Jeno went back to his bed without saying a word, with Xiaojun following him. The younger stayed by his side, comforting him and whispering words of encouragements for him to hush. It might have been too frustrating for Xiaojun to deal with him in this condition, without knowing in the first place what was going on. But it would take too much effort for Jeno to explain, and it's even difficult to say a word with his tightened throat.

"Did Jaemin made you cry?" Xiaojun muses. "Is he the reason why you left the dorm?" 

Although he expects Xiaojun to ask that sooner, the last question was over the top. The accuracy that drives Jeno up the wall. It was easy to say no, but denying something evident, Jeno isnt fooling anyone. "Do--don't tell Renjun anything." He pleads. 

Xiaojun didn't asked anymore. 

"Who are you?" 

"An 18 year old handsome man who doesn't need a Jaemin in my life." 

There was a brief silence, and Winwin’s jaw goes slack at the response that bolts out of the blue. Laughing incredulously at Jeno's morning face, hair standing everywhere and a constant frown on his brows. 

"What did he do again?" He asked, sitting across him at the table counter and pours an appropriate amount of cereal on his bowl. Whilst Jeno looked like he pour two cereal box on his. 

"He hates breathing." Jeno grumbles, mouth full. He hates cereals. Jeno hates himself enough, hence, he's having cereals for breakfast. Last night was spent with meditation and Jeno cleared his mind. Diverting his self hate, to Jaemin, a paradox who loves to play havoc with his emotions. Because according to Jeno's logical judgment, Jaemin means nothing more than a dawn of imperial doom. Whether infatuation or love, it's meant to hurt, and Jeno will heal. 

"So it's him. You met him yesterday?" Winwin catechized, wiping the droplets of milk the spilled on the table under Jeno's intense gaze. 

There's a constant pout on Jeno's lips when he nods, eyes trained on the crumpled tissue Winwin pushed to the side. "He had to be at that cafe with Yangyang. As if I, seeing him at school, isn't annoying enough." 

"Happy birthday to you, then." Winwin mocks, leaning back just in case his new roommate is not a morning a person. Tables were turned because instead, he's the one adjusting to Jeno moving in to his apartment. Winwin is very anxious of his sensitivity. "But Jeno, what if he wants for the two of to reconcile? Would you take that?" 

The thing is, whenever Jeno is on a fit of pique, which is most of time, Winwin talks to him. So Jeno could loosen up and doesn't have to keep everything bottled up to himself. He doesn't have that many people to run to. Since he's under a very sensitive and explicit issue, he decided not to tell Ningning, which makes her out of the option alongside Donghyuck. Renjun would not tolerate anything like his feelings for Jaemin, and that he's still mourning over it, for Renjun might butcher either of them. 

Though, Jeno wouldn't admit that he had thoughts regarding that, or that he even looked forward to it. Getting over Jaemin is difficult, for his mind is still enveloped with the assurance of Jaemin's smiles. As much as Jeno wouldn't want to sit on perpetual longing for him, he can stay angry at him as an excuse of letting go. 

"Jeno, help yourself." 

"I don't need him." Jeno spits, with a vigorous roll of eyes. 

"Majestic, like always." Winwin comments with a laugh. 

"I didn't know cereals taste this good." 

Jeno hates everything about Jaemin, or his guts in particular. Pestering Jeno with petty topics in his attempts to engage them in a conversation inside the class, or that one time when Renjun didn't eat with them for lunch and all the words possible came out of Jaemin's mouth to flatter Jeno, he talked non-stop, that even Mark and Donghyuck were pissed and told him to shut up. There was an instance in chemistry lab too when hands were placed on Jeno's hips and chin rested on his shoulder, it only lasted for a millisecond and Jeno jumped when Jaemin whispered to his ear. Though his head failed to function for a minute, he managed to shove Jaemin away. Making his final statement of "Leave me alone!" 

Somehow, that worked. Probably because Jaemin doesn't want to get shouted at inside the class again, that or he saw how annoyed Jeno was the last time. He lie low from his chivy, and opts to sit at the front where Hendery is. Although he still carries on leaving a milk box and chocolate crossaint on Jeno's desk on recess time, Jeno is definite on disregarding him, and handing the meal to his seatmate instead when Jaemin isn't looking. He could get use to it again, ignoring Jaemin's existence along with his feelings for him. All Jeno needs is time, and the solidity of the walls he established between them.

However, Jeno didn't expect it when Jaemin barged in his room and greets him with a loud, "Jeno." Startled, he jumps up on his seat. Eyes dilating at Jaemin who's walking towards him in quick steps. 

"W--what are you." Jeno bites, the question died in his throat and he leaned back when Jaemin steps closer. His skin shivers suddenly, maybe from Jaemin's presence, or the cold humidity of the room from the aftershower. "Get out!" 

Jaemin stopped on his tracks, eyes focused on Jeno with an intent look. Silence hugs the room for a brief moment, and his gaze never leaving Jeno's. 

Jeno's throat went dry, and his breath accelerates in an abnormal pace. He didn't think looking at Jaemin's face again after a long time would make his heart to thump out of his ribcage , if it was possible to fall for Jaemin even deeper. Setting all his asserted anger for Jaemin aside, like a firefly attracted to the flames, Jeno is drawn in to him again. 

"Jeno, we should talk.” Jaemin demands, eyes travelling from Jeno's wet hair down to his bare legs. 

For the mean time, Jeno forgets he's only wearing boxer shorts that barely covers his thighs. Picking up a pillow to cover when he noticed Jaemin has diverted his gaze now. "How did you even get in here?" 

"The door." Jaemin states a matter of factly, eyes back at Jeno's own. He hadn't look anywhere in the room but Jeno, along with his blunt request, his pure intention was to make Jeno talk to him. "Jeno, if there's anything I could do so you would forgive me. I'd do it." 

Never in his dreams did he imagine Jaemin would ask for forgiveness. But that's Jaemin, a stunner, full of surprises, and in order to protect himself, Jeno doesn't want to trust him again. To which sounded more of a command rather than an apology, and knowing Jaemin, he wouldn't give Jeno time to ruminate and he's stepping closer again without allowing him to think. It was an illogical response when Jeno says, "There's nothing for you to apologize for. I'm not mad at you. There's nothing wrong between us." 

"You're avoiding me." Jaemin claims in a soft voice. With Jeno's lies completely disregarded.

There was no lie in what he said. But Jeno wouldn't justify his actions because they both know why, the predicament they got themselves into that has no way out. "Just, get over it, Jaemin. I'm okay, you don't have to feel sorry." 

"You said you're not mad at me, but you're avoiding me." Jaemin protest.

"I'm not." 

"You are." 

"I don't care about you." Jeno spits, in hopes to make Jaemin shut up. Nonetheless, he knows it's a fail attempt when Jaemin opens his mouth another time.

"Admit it, you can't tell Donghyuck because you don't want him to hate me. You care for me." Jaemin challenged with an even confidence. Smirking a little when Jeno is taken by surprise, like a deer caught in the headlights. 

With that, sanity that is left in Jeno has completely driven away being exposed to Jaemin's vicinity. There was a glint of victory in Jaemin's eyes, that even if Jeno would deny that, he wouldn't buy it. " Just leave me alone." 

"You are angry."

"Shut up. Do you want me to kiss you again? " Jeno slurred. So Jaemin would say no, and for him to realize that they shouldn't be involved with one another ever again. There's no way he could offer Jeno anything more than friendship, and Jeno would rather decline that because seeing Jaemin and remembering what went on between them could still damage him, if it had to effects on Jaemin.

"Kiss me." Jaemin commands, catching Jeno's wrists.

Jeno just want to burst in tears, for Jaemin might leave again if he does so, just like the last time. Even if Jaemin is way too tempting for his continence, he shouldn't succumb to that. Jaemin is so seamless, and Jeno would want to kiss him anytime he gets the chance, but Jeno is afraid knowing that Jaemin has power to destroy him even with a single word. 

"Stop it, Jaemin. You don't like me at all, I'm completely aware of that." Jeno concedes, although that absolute fact was difficult to admit and still hurts him. 

Another moment of silence enveloped the room. The fear that Jaemin might fess up that it was true, or that Jeno might cry any time again. There's no one else in the house, and Jeno is too asthenic to fend for himself from Jaemin's grievous territory. Crossing his fingers as he wishes for Winwin to arrive home from the market, so he could save Jeno from this dilemma. 

Jaemin sets his wrists free, and he stepped back, with his head hanging low. "If I could turn back time, I wouldn't push you away that day---" 

"Stop feeling sorry." Jeno interrupts, because if Jaemin says more, he might believe him and Jeno doesn't want to. All his suffering from whatever Jaemin had put him through shouldn't go down the drain just because of empty words. Jeno should've learned from them. 

"I think I like you." 

"You don't." Jeno says calm, although he screamed it inside his head. Someone should educate Jaemin and elaborate him the difference between like and pity, and Jeno is certain that it's the latter that Jaemin has for him. A confession of sort Jeno will never feel flattered about, and disappointed rather.

"If I'm fine with seeing you naked, then maybe I could try." Jaemin states, but it sounded more of like a question. 

An evident blush crept up on Jeno's cheeks. He should be offended at the sudden lewd remark, but Jaemin's filthy mouth gets him every time and Jeno hates himself for it. Jaemin has him on his palms, and Jeno is spellbound even with the sound of his breathing. If he was to make a choice, he wouldn't want anything to do with Jaemin anymore. But defying him was difficult, and Jeno knows he's gravely mistaken again when he leans in and catches Jaemin's lips. 

The sensation of Jaemin's lips against his from that innocent kiss got his hopes up, and he knows will break him once they pull apart. But Jaemin, again, like the last time, is grabbing the back of Jeno's head to bring him closer. A gasp escaped his lips when Jaemin's hand on his hip travels down to caress his arm, squeezing it that had Jeno groaning in excitement. Jeno opened his mouth at that, and Jaemin use it as an entrance to licks at mouth more. Entangling his tongue against Jeno's violently, to let out the moans he's been holding back. 

As though it's just a stolen moment to intoxicate Jeno and leave him empty afterwards, Jaemin is moving fast. The hand that was at the back of Jeno’s head is now travelling to the expanse of his stomach when Jaemin slipped it under his shirt. There's a bittersweet fervor when Jeno opens his eyes and saw Jaemin's dark ones staring back at him. It's like the replay of what happened the first time they touched, when Jaemin placed a hand on his chest to push him down the bed and hovers above him. Except, Jaemin doesn't taste like liquor this time, and Jeno is addicted.

His whole body trembles in incitation when Jaemin nips at his lower lip. Hands grazing anywhere in Jeno's to rile him up, and he goes languid in Jaemin's touch. All Jeno could think about is Jaemin's lips, the sensation making his mind go blank, and he forgets everything else that isn't Jaemin. Kissing Jaemin back for more to help himself just in case Jaemin's sober self backs away any moment. But Jeno is afraid to touch, the doubt still lingers despite all the sensation Jaemin is giving him, and he stills his hand on the bedsheet for leverage. 

Jeno doesn't know how long they've been kissing. For it was pure bliss to be in Jaemin's touch, and Jeno would dare to even admit to Jaemin that he loves him without a trace of shame. That he doesn't care if Jaemin only came here only for this. Or if Jaemin is going to use him again. Because that's what love does to people. It makes you excited, crazy and even pathetic. Maybe someday, in time, from their touch and kisses, Jaemin might learn to love him too.  
Inside these four walls, he can be with Jaemin again and again. 

Jaemin was first to pull away when there was a faint knock on the door, and Jeno has never felt so empty to not be in his touch. 

"Jeno, are you there? The front door is open." 

Jeno looks at Jaemin, and he blushes at the sudden realization of what they've just done. Jaemin is buttoning his own shirt and Jeno heart races since he didn’t know that Jaemin unbuttoned them in the first place.

"Jeno?" 

"I--I'm here." Jeno responds in a trembling voice. He couldn't relax when Jaemin sits beside at him, and stares on his face while licking his own lips, red from their previous activity. 

"Okay, I'm going to cook now." Winwin says, and his footsteps fade to the kitchen. 

"Shit, what a bummer. Should we continue where we left of?" Jaemin whispers, giving Jeno no time to respond, and hands reaching out to cup Jeno’s cheeks.

Jeno has never seen Winwin looking so harassed when he realizes Jeno wasn't alone in his room. Too dumbstruck to say anything as he stood by the kitchen door, with a spatula in hand, that he may or may not throw at the both of them once he's pulled out of his trance. 

"What?" Jaemin deadpans. 

Winwin didn't flinched at the impoliteness, unlike Jeno who isn't used to see him acting rude. Face unchanging as he stares blankly at both of them, ignorning Jaemin's question. 

"Help him pack, he's going back to the dorm with me." Jaemin orders Winwin as though they're buddies, when he knows they aren't. Because Winwin rarely hangs out with their group of friends, with a verbal reason that he doesn't like Renjun. 

"What?" Jeno is the one to ask this time. There's no way he's going back in the dorm with Jaemin, and he's ridiculous for even thinking that. He wouldn't even want to consider it. Although it's nice to know that there's a wishful thinking inside Jaemin's head that Jeno will come back to live in the dorm with him, Jeno wouldn't want to consider it. Aware that he will bring along his rigor anyway anywhere he goes, at least, being apart from Jaemin, and a demanding Donghyuck, will give him the oppurtunity to think. 

Jaemin is still in dazed. Maybe such emotional reaction occurs when you act according to your heart, instead of your head. To the point where his feet were perplexed whether to come to Jeno or not, and his heart wins, the next thing that happened was out of Jaemin's control as his head fails to function. Body acting on it's own and he finds himself on place where he'd want to stay, inside Jeno's eyes. Although he doesn't understand why Jeno is still ignoring him in class, or why Jeno had to push him out of the apartment when he said he wants to take him back to the dorms. Jeno calls him that night, and Jaemin was too eager to pick it up only to be yelled at and forbid him to come back to his apartment. 

The other day, Mark cornered him in his room. Not like Jaemin didn't expect anyone would notice but, it caught him off guard when Mark asked what happened to Jeno. Furthermore, his wrong answer when he said "I didn't do anything to him, hyung." And he's caught, because Mark was boring holes into his head and gave him a nonchalant, "I didn't say you did. So what did you do?" Such tragic. Though as much as Jaemin loves and respects Mark,, some things are not meant to be said, and the older convinced him for an hour to speak yet failed to squeeze the words out of him. 

He anticipates the cold treatment from Donghyuck. Although he's certain Jeno kept it from him, it's not possible that he is clueless. And Donghyuck's maturity towards this is quite impressive, considering the fact he's a loud fretful Yeti, as Jaemin calls him. If not chastening him, Jaemin could say that Donghyuck stopped talking to him too, like what he did to Renjun. But Donghyuck is different, and Jaemin only needs time, until then, he'd speak to Donghyuck and made up with him. 

"I swear, you're acting weird." 

Jaemin ignores Yangyang’s comment, eyes still trained at the objects of his disturbance. What happened between him and Jeno, Jaemin kept it to himself and decides not to tell anyone. Not even Yangyang for he might demand for an explanation and Jaemin isn't ready to give him one. Unsure of his stance, and lost in words. 

He watches as Renjun placed a hand on Jeno's back as they laugh together, although he couldn't hear them from a far, it looks like they're having fun. With Jeno looking too engrossed to whatever Renjun was saying, and Jaemin wants to pull Jeno away from him and his lies. Jaemin has felt this way before. Every time Xiaojun would arrive in their table at lunch and he's all Jeno could see, talking about anime Jaemin knows more than anyone and that Jeno should be talking to him instead. Or when Donghyuck would shamelessly ask others to move away just to sit beside Jeno.While on top of that, there's Renjun, who always steals Jeno's attention, touches him, and all over him as if he owns Jeno, and how it pisses him off every time Jeno mentions his name. It was jealousy, which Jaemin should've figured out sooner, before he'd given Renjun a reason to punch him in front of Jeno, defending him. Knowing it only gave Jeno a reason to trust him more than Jaemin. 

He didn't think of his actions when Jaemin gets up from his seat in the lobby and strides towards them, snatch Jeno's phone but not before stealing a kiss on his cheek, to which surprises Jeno and making him jump. 

Jaemin isn't crazy, or acting weird like what Yangyang told him just now. It's just that, there's something about Jeno that magnets his senses towards him, that Jaemin can't resist. To a degree where he would realize that he'd done it, and there's no turning back. 

"Meet me at the rooftop!" Jaemin shouts at them, ignoring the incredulous look that Renjun is giving him. Enjoying the startled look on Jeno's face, who's gaping at him in an adorable manner. Jaemin flashes him a big smile and a wink, before running. 

Although he didn't have a plan B on what to do if Jeno shows up with Renjun by his side, there's a smile plastered on his lips because Jeno is coming to him any moment. However, his heart drops way too soon when he tampers with Jeno's phone, and on his first click, the screen lights up showing Ningning holding a puppy as the wallpaper. 

"Bestfriend my ass." He mutters to himself. Not accepting the defeat and took a photo of himself with a smile he knows that will melt Jeno's heart, and sets it as the wall paper. 

"Give it back!" Jeno strides towards him, stomping his feet in annoyance. To which his face contorts more when Jaemin greets him with a smile, as if he didn't just poke fun of him in front of the other students. 

Jaemin hummed in response, and meets him halfway, extending his arm with Jeno's phone in hand. But he had other things in mind, when Jeno reached out for it, he pulled him by the arm instead and closes their distance by grabbing him on the hips. 

But Jeno didn't seemed startled, and he isn't squirming out of Jaemin's hold the way he expects him to. Instead, there's a nonchalant look on his face when he says, "Aren't you a little obsessed?" 

"Now you're one to talk." Jaemin laughs, because maybe it's true. That or he's feeling way too victorious to have Jeno in his arms right now. A gasp escaped his mouth when Jeno placed a chaste kiss on his lips, and he wishes Jeno would think the red on his cheeks comes from the cold blowing wind. There's a button on Jaemin's senses that clicked once he felt Jeno's soft lips on his, as though it was the first time they kiss. And all Jaemin could think about, is kissing him again.

"There you go, now give me back my phone." Jeno whispers in his sweet voice, that weakens Jaemin even more, as if he knows how much effects he has on Jaemin. He finds the chance to snatch his phone back, fishing it out from Jaemin's back pocket and pulls away from him. 

The warmth that was there awhile back, his sweet fragrance, leaves Jaemin completely empty. But he's still too dumbstruck about that one little kiss Jeno stole. Mind fails to function because the whole idea of getting Jeno alone with him is to talk, yet he's too stupefied to even take a breath. 

"I'll leave now, Mr. Na. There's something important Renjun is telling me." 

Upon hearing the name, it struck a chord to his brain and Jaemin didn't let Jeno take another step, grabbing him on the arm. He's jealous, and Jeno should know it. "Don't you go leaving me for Renjun." 

"What? I couldn't hear you." 

If Jeno is in the mood for teasing, Jaemin doesn't find it funny at all. There's a frustration that riles him up at the single mention of Renjun's name. He hopes Jeno hasn't forgotten what occured between him and Renjun and would comprehend his pique, instead of using it as a weapon to aggravate him. Jaemin can take jokes, but detestation along with jealousy, that's exceeding the limit. 

"Go out with me." Jaemin says, that was supposedly an invite but it turns out to be a statement. Even it surprises him, but Jaemin wants to be possessive just this once. Maybe the confidence is coming from the fact and he knows that Jeno likes him too. However, Jeno doesn't look surprised or happy and the next second, Jaemin is stewn over the thought that maybe Jeno has changed his mind about him. 

"Make me." Jeno challenged. 

This time, Jaemin is the one nervous and biting his tongue. The sunlight that beams at Jeno's skin, too, didn't help because he shines, and he looks so beautiful and he's all Jaemin could see. And he wishes he wouldn't drool right in the place because that would really be stupid and he wouldn't want to embarrass himself like that in front of, as Jaemin likes to call it, his crush. 

Regardless, Jeno is difficult. As much as he didn't want to, it's inevitable for Jaemin to not have second thoughts by the way Jeno treats him. Jaemin tries his best to please him, and even woo him and tell him sweet nothings in front of everyone that received a big question from Donghyuck and Mark. Whereas Jaemin isn't up for saying anything, he knows they wouldn't let him slip until he answers. But Jaemin likes to think that there's no need for explanation, because Jaemin does what he likes, and he likes Jeno to go out with him. 

"You really like him, do you?" 

Jaemin looks up at Yangyang who placed a canned coffee on the table. It's class hours and there aren't much students in the cafeteria. 

"Have you been sleeping?" Yangyang asked, sitting across him, concerned at the dark circles under Jaemin's eyes.

"I thought you said you don't want to talk to me." Jaemin stays, looking at him. 

"I still don't want to. But who else are you going to talk to, if not me." 

Sighing in relief, Jaemin forced a smile and instead of the canned coffee, he took the pretzel Yangyang was eating making the other groan. Last week, Yangyang declares he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore. Which Jaemin thought would be just fine because he'd had enough complaints and catechism from him. Jaemin told Yangyang he likes Jeno, but the other only scowled at him in disbelief and called him insane. And it's true Jaemin has no one else to talk to other than him. The other day, Donghyuck probably had some pity in his heart and approached him, but Jaemin admits rightaway that he likes Jeno, and they stopped talking again. While it's true that he didn't expect anyone of his friends to support him on wooing Jeno, somehow it hurts when he ends up thinking the reason behind that is, he's not good enough, for someone so perfect like Jeno. Renjun will laugh at him, because even to Sehwi, Jaemin was never enough. 

"Did you even get mad at Renjun for me?" Jaemin spits, a question that didn't require an answer but he could try. 

"I guess." Yangyang shrugs. Jaemin's words didn't alarm him. "So when you realized you like Jeno, he's the one pushing you away now?" 

For the moment, Jaemin was stunned at the question, and hesitates whether to nod or shake his head. He'd deny it, but it's not like anyone would understand the diversity of their relationship. Although Jeno is different when it's just the two of them together, sweet and gentle, he has several moods when he ignores Jeno whenever he wants to, or he gets all pissy and boss Jaemin around. Somehow, it was tiring, but Jaemin can't complain at all; he's still guilty. 

When noticed that Jaemin is gawking, Yangyang kicks him under the table. "He liked you because you're nice. If you think being a dick will help you get him, doubt so. He's probably turned off at how pestilent you became." 

"Nobody likes me for him, anyway." Jaemin utters in an almost inaudible voice. A truth he's trying to find a lie from. 

There was a pity in Yangyang’s eyes when he looked at Jaemin, and asked, "Have you asked how he feels for you now? You said he told you that he liked you, didn't he? Or were you just imagining it?" 

It's way too funny, because Yangyang tried not to laugh when Jaemin gaped at him. As though what Yangyang suggested was the revelation of the year. 

"Don't mind what I said. Just talk to him, sincerely. He'll listen to you, I promise." 

"He only listens to Renjun." Jaemin says bitterly, and hopes Yangyang could comprehend his jealousy. He wishes someone could understand how put out he becomes whenever they see those two together, talking, laughing and all touchy. 

"That's just a remark of jealousy. Besides, he's dating Xiaojun. It's their third monthsary tomorrow." Yangyang informs him. 

"Yeah, but. He likes to lie. He's shady. He probably likes Jeno even when he's dating someone else, he's so full of--"-

"Honestly, Jaemin. How much do you hate him." Yangyang interrupts, shaking his head. 

Probably because Renjun is aware that Jeno knew something, so he doesn't berate him regarding Jaemin, for Jeno could snap back at him so easily. Mindful of the other's behavior towards him, maybe a little cold, Jeno decides to ask. 

"Do you hate me, or something?" .

"I don't...hate you. I just. It's just." Startled at the question, Renjun stutters answering. And surprises Jeno because he's at any rate collected, and doesn't hesitate on his words. "It's just so uncalled-for, Jeno. And he's suddenly acting like he likes you. That's just. Please, go over it again." 

"Actually, I'm not sure if he really likes me." Jeno admits, because Jaemin's sudden behavior of liking him is a little dubious, and he's uncertain whether to believe him or not. 

"It's why you're avoiding him?" Renjun muses, watching the worried expression on Jeno's face. The dark circles under his eyes explains how much he's thinking this over. 

"He could just be guilty. Or sorry. But I don't think he likes me like what he's saying. He can't be so sure, so I'm avoiding him, and telling him off, so he would change his mind." Jeno mumbles about. A little embarrassed that he had to talk with Renjun about this, the person he ran to the last time Jaemin broke him. 

"Say, Jeno. And what if he doesn't change his mind?" 

He didn't think Renjun would ask him such a question, and so Jeno ends up gaping at him, bemused. A question he has yet to think over, for its inconceivable, to think that Jaemin even likes him. Although sometimes he gets a hunch, whenever Jaemin kisses him, but Jeno knows Jaemin as someone who can do and say things he don't mean. 

Reaching out for a tissue paper, Renjun wipes off the mayonnaise from Jeno's lower lip. "Look at you, you're a lot bigger than me, but aren't you a baby?" 

"Jaemin told me the same thing." 

"I'd say ‘anyone but Jaemin’, but....." Renjun let's out an exasperated sigh. "Yangyang isn't going to tell him anything like that, ‘anyone but Jeno’." 

"Why did you ask Xiaojun out and not me?" Jeno blabbers nonsense. Like Jaemin, he is the type to say things he don't mean, particularly when he's frustrated. 

Renjun let's out a strangled laugh, but held it back when he saw Jeno is about to cry. Aware of the other's distress that's instigate him to talk foolishly. "If you weren't busy sleeping with Jaemin, I would've." He joked, but regrets it immediately because Jeno starts crying. 

Even if he fuss over the little things, Jeno knows he lacks at expressing his emotions when something gets serious. And Renjun, being the receiving end and the person Jeno always vents his anger out, probably have gotten used to him all these years. He remembers in middle school when the girl he likes ends up liking Mark, he never kicked up a fuss about it, until Renjun talks to him and he ends up pulling at the other’s. hair. Which why he ends up crying now, too. 

"He's so confusing. I'm so angry." Jeno snorts. 

"If you don't stop crying in three seconds, I'd go find him and punch him." He warns.

Jeno bit his lips, pulling out his hair in frustrarion. Because unlike him, Renjun mean what he says, and do what he wants. Like two years ago when he said he'd punch Yangyang if he doesn't stop teasing Jeno, and he actually did that surprises everyone. 

"I'm kidding." 

"You're becoming nice, is it because of Xiaojun?" 

"Keep quiet." 

"But...." Jeno starts, wary about what he's going to say. But he's not the only once with troubles, and Renjun might be thinking about it too. "Shouldn't you...apologize to Jaemin too?" 

A bitter smile is painted on Renjun's face and he says, "You know I've known Sehwi even before Jaemin came to the school, right? And I liked her, a lot. We've always had something special, we talk a lot, and message each other a lot. I've liked her since the two of us were in fifth grade. I’d send her cards on Valentines, and Christmas days and she will send me in return. I’d draw her on her birthdays and she will do the same. I just didn’t find it necessary to tell anyone, since we haven’t had a name for the two of us. And since she’s very reserved, and I as well, so it was better to keep things between us. Then Jaemin came in to the picture, and it seemed Jaemin really liked her, that I decided to keep it so I wouldn’t hurt him. We broke up, and I was going to tell him, but he knew it ahead." 

"Have you told him that?" Jeno asked, although he had no idea about them knowing each other since grade school. Ever since middle school, him and Sehwi are always casted the main roles on the theatro in their school, they've spent so much time with each other, so it must be difficult for Renjun to leave her too. Probably far more difficult that how Jaemin felt when he found out about them. 

"Jaemin wouldn't listen." Renjun states. "He doesn't trust me anymore." 

"What about Yangyang? Have you told him? Maybe he can tell Jaemin." Jeno suggested. 

"Well, I guess it's enough that I apologized to him many times. Also, I think he doesn't want to talk to me any time soon. I'll give him a rest. The one that needs to talk to him, is you." 

"Jaemin can we talk?" 

Jeno feels cognizant when Jaemin looks up at him, pupils dilating at the sudden approach. He should've waited for him to wake up instead of waking him. But the class is starting in two minutes so he guesses it was necessary to do so. 

"R--right now?" Jaemin asked. 

Jeno was about to say they can talk later in lunch break, but Jaemin is already dragging him out of the classroom just in time when their teacher entered and calls out their names. He decides not object, and let's Jaemin pull him wherever. And they stopped at the back of the school, near the pond. 

"Speak." Jaemin encouraged him to talk. 

But Jeno is too scared to begin, afraid that he might let out the wrong words that will break the two of them. That he ends up staring at Jaemin, with wary eyes. 

"Anything but me making up with Renjun, that's never going to happen." Jaemin states very clearly, and he holds Jeno's arm who stepped back. 

Jeno sighs, because he knows. "I know. But you should know that they liked each other even before you came here. Ever since they were un grade school." He explains, although he shouldn't be meddling with this topic. 

Jaemin let's out a snort, and he ignores what Jeno says and ask him, "I like you. I really do. But, do you like me too?" 

A gasp left Jeno's mouth, and he can't feel his face, wondering if he heard Jaemin right. Wishing he wouldn't stumble back by the immense power that was there in Jaemin's words. Too inconceivable, but the materiality of his daydreams and Jeno wouldn't want to wake up. The eager Jaemin, now is giving him the time to process this, and he repeats again, 

"Jeno, I like you." 

A final cue for his body functions to completely falter, and all Jeno could see when he closed his eyes is Jaemin. His gorgeous smiles, his, sparkling eyes, and brightest teeth. 

“Do you like me too?”


End file.
